The Definition of Romantic Love and How to Achieve it
Find out how to achieve romantic love and the meaning of it
Apr 01, 2019
Some people believe in romantic love, and some straight-up don’t. Some say that finding and embracing it is the ultimate meaning of life, while some say it’s nothing more than a hoax fed into our minds through media. Well, for those who’ve felt it in their hearts, the answer lies in the sparkle of their eyes when they take a look at their partner – that just can’t be a hoax!
It can definitely be complicated to understand it, and also to find it. All good things come to those who strive for them because if everyone were to get it, it wouldn’t be that special. This article will take you through the meaning and purpose of romantic love while guiding you in finding yours.
The Definition and Meaning of Romantic Love
What is Romantic Love?
Romantic love is one of the hardest things to describe justifiably, but a reasonable definition would be “The craving, obsessive thinking about and/or attraction towards another individual”. The first thing you should understand about it though is that it’s entirely involuntary. You can’t just decide someday that you’ll go out and fall in love, it’s never planned, and it’s never controlled, it happens. You don’t choose to fall in love at a certain moment, falling in love chooses you.
If all of this is getting a bit too cliché for you, here’s something that brain science tells us and not the media; love affects your brain like basic human needs of hunger and thirst!
Even though it behaves like an addiction, demanding more and more romantic affection from your partner, it’s pretty unfair to put that tag on it. We don’t call hunger, thirst, or breathing an addiction, do we? Similarly, love is a human need, and we're made to fall in love.
Tips on How to Achieve A Romantic Love Relationship
There’s a process to everything, regardless of how magical the goal can be. Even though you need sheer luck to find true love, there definitely are ways to increase the chances of that coincidence. Follow these steps to gain an advantage in your love-hunt as you meet new people.
1. Exchange Personal Information
Forming a deep connection is the first step towards building the perfect stage for love to step in. Arthur Aron and his colleague conducted a truly fascinating study that proves through science, that intimacy can be built within 45 minutes, just through an exchange of personal information between two parties. His study involved strangers in pairs, who had to take turns in answering a list of 36 questions to each other. The questions were targeted to achieve personal disclosure among the two, and relations were reportedly deepened significantly within a span of 45 minutes.
2. Reciprocity is Vital
For a true connection to be formed, both persons need to participate. Remember that as you talk about yourself, the other individual may be interested in listening and learning stuff about you, it’s not the best way to deepen the connection you have with them. It needs to be two-way, allow them to reciprocate, look into their eyes and listen to them with all your presence as well. Which brings us to the next point.
3. Look into their Eyes
The complete version of the 36-question theory discussed above has gained a lot of popularity and floats around in different web articles. It’s that those 36 questions with a 4-minute eye-to-eye gaze at the end, results in the beginning of love. While true romantic love may not be that simple to achieve, it definitely could be the start of something incredibly special. After all, they say eyes are the windows to the soul. Stare into your partner’s eyes and make them feel that they have your attention as they speak, maybe this formula works for you!
Popular Songs about Romantic Love
“Perfect” - Ed Sheeran
It’s an absolute classic, and proves that a song doesn’t have to be from the 80s to be timeless. It’s as good as it gets when it comes to representing everything which means to have fallen in love. “Perfect” describes the magic of romantic love, and the desire to grow with one’s special someone.
“Love Story” - Taylor Swift
People still remember this song by heart, even if they didn’t like it, because that’s how much it used to be played in cars, radios, TVs all over. Just a single lyric from it, if not each one, is enough to embody the feeling of young love – it says “This love is difficult, but it’s real”.
“All of Me” - John Legend
Here’s one from the romantic ballad king himself, Mr. John Legend. It’s an unmatched song, and its sheer beauty can make literally anyone bawl. It melts hearts, especially with the gorgeous vocals of John, directed towards his own wife in the music video, Chrissy Teigen. Here's what he has to say for her, “You’re my end and my beginning...” - oh!
“Just the Way You Are” - Bruno Mars
Bruno, as always, serves truly epic romantic vibes with “Just the Way You Are”. The lyrics just can’t stress enough the perfection of his love, and honestly there’s nothing more anyone wants to hear from their partner. Anyone who thinks they’re falling in love should listen to this song, if you can relate totally, then that confirms it.
“There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back” - Shawn Mendes
This one’s about the madness and excitement romance brings into one’s life, and you can’t fight the urge to let it all go with your love. It describes the ultimate desire to be with one special person and you would do anything it takes for the to happen immediately.
3 Most Favorited Movies about Romantic Love
The Notebook (2004)
@the_notebook / Instagram
This movie is considered to be the absolute trademark of Hollywood’s romance genre, and rightfully so. It’s about a mill worker and a rich girl, Noah and Allie, who fall desperately in love. Allie’s parents aren’t in favor of it, and Noah ends up going off to serve in the World War II. The love affair seems to have ended there. Allie is involved with another guy, but Noah returns, turns out the romance is still there, far from over.
La La Land (2016)
@lalaland / Instagram
It’s a romantic musical movie, where Sebastian and Mia strive to do where their passion falls in. They find success, and face decisions that could challenge the delicate love affair they have. Their own life's aspirations stand in the way of their happily-ever-after.
@goddesof_love / Instagram
There’s absolutely no need to even try to describe the plot to this absolute wonder of a movie. It captures the maiden voyage of a legendary ship, which gives birth to a love story between Jack and Rose that’s just as legendary, if not more. Brace yourself though, it brings a roller coaster of emotions to the viewers!
5 Mushy Quotes about Romantic Love
1. “Each time you happen to me all over again”, Age of Innocence – Edith Warton
This quote is a tremendous representation of the fact that when there’s genuine love between two souls, there’s no concept of it getting old. It only engraves itself deeper and deeper into the hearts of the two, and gives a unique feeling each time they’re together.
2. “Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips”, Prometheus Unbound – Percy Bysshe Shelley
Oh, the feels with this one. It’s enough to give you butterflies if you read this with the thought of your love in mind. They say you can know if someone actually loves you, just through the way they kiss you.
3. “You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought”, The White Company - Arthur Conan Doyle
This just sums up all there is to loving another being, they’re at the top of your priority list, whenever, wherever. There’s no place you’d rather be than being and experiencing life with them, they’re your one and only thought.
4. “Who, being loved, is poor?”, A Woman of No Importance – Oscar Wilde
Love is the ultimate wealth, it’s one of the few jewels in life that can’t be bought with material possessions. Oscar Wilde is totally on point here, if you’re loved, you’re one of the richest ones alive.
5. “I like myself better when I’m with you”, Tuesdays with Morrie – Mitch Albom
You can’t love another person before loving yourself first, but once both types of love are discovered, they enhance each other in a remarkable way. This explains Mitch’s thought, and confirms the life-changing power of love.
We were created in pairs, we have an inherent need for love hard-wired in us, there’s no fighting it. Life on Earth as we know it is the result of love, and it would cease the moment love ceases too. No matter what people may think or say about the ‘love in the movies’, it’s a fact that it makes life more meaningful, enjoyable, and worth living until the final breath.