The Meaning of a Loveless Marriage
A ‘Loveless Marriage’ can be characterized by a situation in which two people who vowed to live a happy life together have come to a state where despite living together they remain strangers and their estrangement increases with every passing day. It does not stop here, rather the two partners, apparently, together have not much to enjoy together and often during their interaction, their conversation leads to unnecessary and unimagined bitter endings. They do not find happiness together and in their mind, blame their spouse for all the wrongs in their lives. Even if they try to compromise and apparently try to live along, the relationship worsens, and it is quite likely that things may outburst at the end. In a nutshell, they are not happy together. So what are the signs of a loveless marriage?
10 Signs of a Loveless Marriage
1. You do not have open communication
Once you have stopped interacting with each other, there exists a visible communication gap. It is a sign that you have started falling into a state of a loveless marriage. Open communication, no matter how bitter it is, keep the relationships warm. However, an absence of open communication entails accumulating complications in your married life.
2. You Always Try to Win the Argument
Another sign of a loveless married life is that whenever there is an argument, it ends up into both sides’ desperate attempt to winning the argument at the cost of losing each other. No one is ready to forgo his/her point and at the end, a normal conversation ends up into a definitive relationship spoiler.
3. Ridiculing Each Other
The above character is also a grave sign of entering into a loveless marriage i.e. attempting to ridicule each other. When there is always an attempt by either of the spouses or both, to ridicule each other, it indicates that the married life is loveless. This attitude generates feelings of worthlessness in the other spouse and coming from such a close relationship can have damaging results.
4. When You Want to Spend the Time Outside the House without Each Other
Another sign indicative of loveless married life is that you are so fed up from each other—that in an attempt to avoid each other—you try to spend the maximum of your time outside. It is one of the earliest symptoms of a loveless married life.
5. When You Do Not Fight, Despite Wanting To
Yes, you heard that right. Even not fighting with each other can be a sign of loveless marriage. Not arguing with each other at all, shows that you are at a stage where you just do not care. You remain aloof to one another and just do not want to have any kind of interaction with each other.
6. You Want to Share your Feelings with Someone Else instead of Your Spouse
When you want to share your good news including your achievements in a professional or extra-curricular domain not to your spouse but someone else, or you desire to be cajoled by someone else in your worse times instead of your spouse, it is a manifestation of the weakness of your relationship; a loveless marriage in short.
7. When You Do Not Sexually Interact
When your sexual life is diminished, and you do not interact sexually, it shows loveless married life. To sexually interact is a very important component of married life. The absence of sexual arousals for each other can lead to relationship worsening.
8. When You Think of Divorce
When you think of divorce often and envisage the life afterward this shows the drifting apart of relationship- a relationship devoid of love. It does not always mean involvement with someone else, rather it can also be due to the hollowness of the relationship with the spouse.
9. When You Are Involved with Someone Else
When you are involved with someone else, and that turns out to be an emotional relationship, it confirms your loveless married life. Getting emotionally involved with someone else other than your spouse entails your lost passion or hopes for the existing relationship. It starts even with a search for online available sites for compatible partners or online dates. This clearly is an indication that you are just over with your married life and it is just a matter of time now, however, in a few cases, this may turn round.
10. You Stop Caring for Each Other
When you do not care about each other—showing least interest in each other’s’ likes and dislikes, how their routine is going on, what is bothering them—shows that there exists lovelessness in married life. This also includes a lack of respect for each other. When you do not love each other— you do not respect each other—you do not care for each other. It is an emotional divorce having a tendency to convert into a physical divorce at any time.
Tips On How to Survive a Loveless Marriage
One cannot understand the trauma of a loveless marriage until they have lived through and survived one. Constant unhappy feelings, a void that cannot be filled with anything, a hollowness that does not seem to go away and increased hopelessness with every passing day are difficult to manage and get rid of. In order to survive a loveless marriage, you need to make certain amendments and changes in routine. Here are a few things that you can do to survive a loveless marriage:
• If you have children, think about their wellbeing. Spend quality time with them and look forward to a happy and fulfilling future for them.
• Start a hobby. Pick up something that you left before marriage and engage yourself in something you loved.
• Free yourself from responsibility. Stop blaming yourself for everything. Once you get rid of self-blame, you will be able to survive this loveless marriage.
• Talk to a therapist or someone close about your feelings. Opening up with someone will relieve you from pain, guilt, and unhappiness.
• Hold on to the hope that things will get better. Marriages go through rough patches but people change and things get better.
How to Fix a Loveless Marriage
In order to fix a loveless marriage, it is important to understand that it has to be converted into Love marriage essentially by removing the term ‘less’ from Loveless. First and foremost is that you need to have early diagnoses of the issue. You must identify right at the onset that your married life is going to end up into a loveless marriage. It is important that you understand how important it is for you to keep this marriage in a happy way. Once you are convinced that this marriage is very important to you then you must take corrective measures.
Corrective measures include a deep analysis of you, your actions and your relationship—where are you going wrong? How can you do things differently in order to keep the love ignited in your marriage? This will lead to effective treatment of the issue and will start eradicating less from the word “Loveless” and thereby turning it into Love Marriage.
Respect Each Other
You need to be respectful with each other and this point is also complimented by caring about each other. It is also equally important that you tell each other that you care for one another verbally as well as through your actions. If you start caring about each other, most of the issues that lead to complications in your marriage diminish away.
Be More Expressive
You need to be more expressive with each other—it includes talking to one another more often and listening to each other more deliberately—thus ending up understanding each other better. This will bring back the diminishing warmth and spark in your relationship.
Think About a Better Future
You must envision how important it is for your future and the future of your kids that your relationship status is happy. Give each other a chance for correcting. Pointing out at each other may not always be rectifying the issues but in most of the cases, it complicates the issue. Therefore, make an effort to avoid criticizing each other as much as possible.
Give Love a Second Chance
Always give love and your relationship a chance. Every relationship has its own set of ups and downs, and issues mostly resolve with time. Appreciate each other’s positive attributes and ignore the negatives.
Support Group for Loveless Marriages
Loveless marriage can be a burden. Hate resentment, unhappiness, guilt and so many other emotions pileup and create an overwhelming and daunting environment. This emotional trauma needs to be addressed to free you from its negativity. Getting together with people going through similar life situation can be very helpful. Becoming part of support groups and sharing experiences with people who understand what you are going through can help relieve emotional pain. There are several support groups for people dealing with difficult and loveless marriages and can be contacted by asking around and searching online.
Friends and family can also be contacted for support in situations like these. Taking marriage enrichment courses and reading related books can also be beneficial.
Should Divorce be an Option?
If you genuinely think that there exists a 0.01% chance in your relationship to survive, give it a chance. Divorce should never be considered as an option. Impulsive actions can lead to lifetime of repentance. Give love a chance and it will find its way.
Marriage is a very important institution in every society. This institution needs to be strengthened otherwise it will lead to the breakup of society and will germinate innumerable social ills. Online availability of counseling forums can also help many save their married lives. Effort should be to turn the Loveless Marriage into Love Marriage as it not only entails personal benefits but also ensures societal strengthening.