7 Important Tips to Cope with an Unfaithful Husband

Men today, unfortunately, believe that they are entitled to more than they possess. This manner of thinking makes them ungrateful for what they have, and so they lust after what they do not have. They feel it is their right! Especially when their hormones start to stir after every woman they see. Rather than practice patience and loyalty towards their wives, these ungrateful men sow their oats in other farms. They do their best to hide this fact from their actual spouses but women are not fools. They know the ways of men.

If you think that your husband is being unfaithful but are not sure then these are the definite signs you should look for to find out whether or not your husband is unfaithful:
 

• Your partner will start dressing and smelling much better than before.

• Secret use of mobile, phone, or computer.

• Increasing periods of time where your partner is unreachable. 

• Your partner becomes hostile to you and your relationship.

• Your partner’s work schedule is altered and becomes increasingly difficult.

• Mutual friends of you and your partner become uncomfortable in your presence. 

• Unexplained expenses come up on your credit bill.

• There is a decline in emotional intimacy.

• When confronted about cheating or being disloyal, your partner will deflect, avoid, or become very angry.

• Sexual activity either increases to abnormal levels or decreases into being non-existent.

• Your partner becomes aggressive after every little mistake you may make.

Once you know that your husband or partner is cheating, you need to take measures to protect yourself and confront him. Are you a bit nervous? Determined? Don't worry, that's natural! Here are a few words of advice which could help you deal with an unfaithful spouse. 

The first step you need to take is to make sure that you have a safe space away from your spouse where you can take up residence. Take stock of your priorities, i.e., any children or pets and make sure that your spouse’s actions do not have a lasting effect on them.

Don’t isolate yourself. Make sure that the people who love you are around you. Tell them the truth of what happened and make sure that they are standing behind you because no matter how tough you might be, a human being always needs support. 

Make sure that no one else is affecting or influencing your choices in how you deal with your spouse and his infidelity. Do not let your over-involved family or friends make your decisions for you.

One of the best advice during this hard time is to ‘Think things through!’ or in other words don’t make impulsive decisions because you will regret them sooner or later. Make sure that every decision you make is beneficial for you and your mental, as well as physical, well-being.

No matter how much you want to hurt your spouse and his mistress the way they hurt you, don’t! It’s not worth it. It will not bring you any happiness, only a feeling of emptiness. Instead, work towards building yourself up.

Even when you think you know the whole story, stop and listen to what your significant other has to say because there is always the possibility of a misunderstanding. Don’t just assume that what you think is right. We're not saying that you shouldn’t trust your instincts, we're saying make sure that you have proof to support your instincts. 

The hardest advice to follow is to take care of yourself. It is the hardest and the most important step to dealing with an unfaithful husband. You have to make sure that you are taken care of. You can do this by going to a place where you feel safe, going to your friends or going to a therapist to talk about what you’re feeling and work through those feelings in the most healthy way possible. 

Although many would say that you are stupid and naïve to want to forgive a cheating spouse. You are not! Mistakes do happen, but the strength of your bond is what will bring you through and of course, your intelligence and knowing what is right and what is wrong. Still forgiving infidelity is quite hard. Here are a few ways which might make it easier:

• Rebuild the bond of trust between you and your husband.

• Give your relationship time to grow. This does not mean that you should allow yourself to grow placid and fall back into the same toxic pattern but to grow your relationship into a much better and stronger version of itself.

• Remember that forgiving your husband is more for you, then it is for him because you always come first. 

• Have patience

• Communicate with each other. Don’t bottle all the feelings in.

• Attend counseling so that all the negative emotion can be aired out and worked through. 

• Spend time away from each other. Find a safe spot for yourselves.

• Explore the changes that have occurred in your relationship. Discuss them, work through them together, and make sure that they don’t damage your relationship further.

• Make sure that mistakes are not repeated.

• Give time to your relationship. Absolutely do not take it for granted.

At a time like this, it sometimes helps to know that you're not alone. Many strong men and women have come up to speak about being unfaithful and it's consequences. We've listed our favourite quotes below. 

1.    “Never cheat on someone that is good to you. Karma is a bitch!” – Surgeo Bell
 

2.    “No woman could love a cheater and not pay the price for it.”—Rose Wynters
 

3.    “It might sound ordinary for a woman to find out her husband’s cheating on her, but not if you’re the woman and it’s your husband.” —Melissa Bank
 

4.    “Next to hurting my family, cheating on me is the worst thing someone could do.”—Robert Buckley

5.    "You didn't just cheat on me; you cheated on us. You didn't just break my heart; you broke our future." -Steve Maraboli
 

6.    “The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation.”—Cheryl Hughes

7.    "The more people rationalize cheating, the more it becomes a culture of dishonesty. And that can become a vicious, downward cycle. Because suddenly, if everyone else is cheating, you feel a need to cheat, too."  -Stephen Covey

8.    “Earthquakes just happen. Tornadoes just happen. Your tongue does not just happen to fall into some other girl’s mouth!”—Gemma Halliday

9.    “Those who cheat on their partners who are loyal to them; don’t deserve them. It is a trashy attitude to disrespect a person who is loyal in a relationship, by cheating on him or her.”—Ellen J. Barrier

10.   "Cheating is very rarely about the actual act of being with another person." - Emily V. Gordon