Is It Time To Be On A Relationship Break With Your Partner

Do I need to take a relationship break and how long should it be?

By Hana O.
Is It Time To Be On A Relationship Break With Your Partner

What Is A Relationship Break?

Every couple goes through a difficult time. Often, pressing the pause button can not only give you the space you need to sort through your differences, but it may also offer a fresh perspective that will enable you to identify the dysfunctional aspects of the relationship and re-approach ongoing problems in a new way to be better partners.

How Long Should A Relationship Break Last?

There are multiple reasons why a couple might decide to take a break. Maybe one person needs to reflect on some personal issues relating to insecurities, trust, or deep-seated fears. Others may want a break from all the responsibilities of the relationship, a break from all the fighting and arguing, a break from the commitment, a break from feeling like they need to take care of their partner. Regardless of your reasoning for taking a break, it's crucial first to figure out why you're seeking some time apart.

 

It is imperative to set a reasonable time frame when taking a relationship break. Anything from a week to a month should be more than enough time for one or both parties to determine whether they should stay together. Some couples may decide halfway through to extend the time frame, and that's okay. It has to be a mutual understanding, though, and always respect the time frame. So what constitutes the need for a relationship break?

1. Fighting and arguing nonstop

Let's be real. It is frustrating when small problems that you and your bae tried to address multiples times continue to pop up in the relationship. If you and your partner can't stop fighting about a particular topic and it seems the argument is never-ending, whether it's about your conflicting needs, communication style differences, or something else entirely then it might be a good idea to take a break.

 

It's unhealthy for you and your partner if the conflicts in your relationship are leading to one or both of you shutting down communication or provoking the other to emotional extremes. 

 

Primarily, having time on your own to reflect may help you understand your partner's perspective and figure out if it's compatible with you and hopefully realize what you need to do to finally push past those problems.

2. Uncertainty about the future and commitments

You are at the peak of your career or working on a promotion. It requires time, effort, and focus. At the same time, you and your bae are now talking about moving in together and eventually get married with four kids and maybe get a dog named Coco. Sometimes, factors such as family-related or career-related responsibilities will pose a challenge to your ability to offer 100 percent as a significant other.

 

Ideally, you should be able to continue giving to your relationship and leaning on your partner for support during these trying times. However, if you are having cold feet and feeling overwhelmed to the point where your relationship feels like added stress to your life, you may need to take a step back.

 

Staying away from each other might help you figure out how important your partner is to you and if they are worth committing to.

3. Post-cheating incident

There are a thousand ways to hurt your partner and damage your relationship, but for some reason, we tend to draw the line at cheating. It ruins a family, friendship, or any relationship in general. It is a massive deal-breaker for most people, if not all.

 

If you or your partner cheated on you, it might be a good idea to step back and take some time to figure out if it's worth saving the relationship.

 

Now, some can say and argue that you cannot or should not stay with a cheater nor give that person another chance. Well, if you're dating someone who doesn't treat you well and doesn't make you feel valued nor give you the respect that you deserve, by all means, dump that person, whether he cheated or not. However, if after some contemplation and you realized you're not dating a jerk—just someone who made a wrong decision—then it could be worth the work to rebuild the relationship.

What is a relationship break?

Taking a break is a chance for people in a relationship to explore what not together feeling like, take time for personal growth, and look at their relationship from a distance.

So many couples think a healthy relationship means being together all the time, but that's not true. Attaching yourself to another person—while it might work for some—can be the perfect setup for disaster down the road, especially if there are disagreements you can't seem to let go of.

 

When you take a break, you are also putting your relationship through an ultimate test. You are trying to see what life would be like without your partner and the relationship.

How long should a relationship break last

 

Taking a break from your relationship is a mutual choice between partners and, therefore, its duration is highly dependent on the parties involved. The essence of the break is to give time and space to each partner, and each person responds differently to this state.

 

Experts do say that it should not last more than six months because that is a real breakup. A relationship break can last from a week to a month, depending on the time needed by both parties.

What Should The Communication During Relationship Break Be Like?

A break is exactly that. You and your partner both need space, full stop. You can't remain in touch and continue checking in with each other. This is a time to reflect and figure out if that person is filling a big part of your life, whether it is emotional or physical. There needs to be a natural void that each partner will feel during a relationship break. That's why a total no communication is required during that time so that they can think and realize if this natural void they will be experiencing during the break is something they are willing to accept or not.

How To Deal With Taking A Relationship Break?

This is the perfect time to find yourself again. Many times during a relationship, one can get lost and forget who he or she truly is. A relationship break is a time to find yourself again. Do not use this period to find a replacement for your partner, which is contrary to how many people think. This isn't the time either to explore all the possibilities of all the other fishes in the sea. Take the time to reinvest in your soul and spirit and look where you want to be after this whole period of break.

What To Do During A Relationship Break?

During a relationship break, one thing will be very evident, and that is extra time. In a relationship, time is usually split between yourself and your partner, but being in a relationship break will give you all the personal time you often won't have. This is a time that must be spent well. Learn something new, rekindle old friendships that turned a little stale during your relationship, or even just read a book. This is the period where you can try to be the best you can be, because if in the end, you see that you grew far better in the relationship break than being in the relationship itself, well that should tell you something.

 

It would be best if you used your time wisely to come back from your break with a new perspective and a renewed sense of understanding of your relationship. Take time and think about why you're on a break, and whether or not you and your partner genuinely have a future together.

 

Also, you can take the time apart to engage in some serious self-reflection. Learn how to convert conversations to be more about listening instead of telling, accusing, overriding, blaming, and being defensive.

Relationship Breaks - Can It Save The Love We Have?

Yes, it can. You're not doomed to break up just because you take a break. Sometimes, they're exactly what you need – a reset – for a long, healthy, deliriously happy relationship. Taking time apart can save your relationship, and it could be the best thing you could have ever done for it.

Related Article: 9 Signs to Know When to Break Up From a Relationship
9 Signs to Know When to Break Up From a Relationship

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Summary

Taking a break in a relationship doesn't mean ending a relationship. A break can be defined and deployed in so many different ways. It helps you and your partner to have room for reflecting your thoughts and emotions, and for thinking your future with or without your partner.

 

The most important thing is to understand what the break means, why you are putting the break in the first place, and what you hope to accomplish from it.

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