There is a very thin line between talking with your best friends about some parts of your life and asking them about their opinion and tips and simply sharing way too much about your personal life. This is very easy to do, especially on social media, where the simple push of a button can share all of your personal thoughts to hundreds of people at once. However, when is it too much? In this article, we will be talking about sharing your personal intimacy stories with your friends, whether you should do it and how to go about friends who share too much, even details that shouldn’t be shared with the others, friends or not. Here we go!
Too Many Details? No Thank You!
People who share way too many details with the people around tend to become annoying very quickly and that’s simply because not everybody wants to know details of your personal stories at any given time. At the end of the day, what happens in your family or relationship shouldn’t be important to anyone else but yourself and those directly involved. So, sharing all the details, even the embarrassing ones, with your friends is probably not the best thing to do.
Also, by doing this, you force the people around you to give opinions on what is going on in your personal life and therefore judge you. Would you like to be judged for your actions without your knowledge? Being judged with your knowledge is equally bad. The thing is that what you choose to say (in some cases, everything) drastically affects your friendships with these people because they might start seeing you in a different light. Most of the time, these friendships are ruined because of stories that contain too many details, some of which should never be shared because they are too intimate. Think about that. Do you want to be that person everybody is talking about around corners because they know every small detail of your life? Don’t offer anyone that occasion.
Why You Should Share
However, it’s very important to also look at things from a different perspective. Why you should share these personal details of your life with your friends? Sometimes, this is beneficial if you know how to do it. Here are some tips:
1. Choose a select group of friends
The idea here is that you can choose a small select group of friends with whom to share your personal stories or even one single best friend who you trust. By doing this and sharing personal details but only to trustworthy people you escape that stress of the situation and ask for precious advice from people who you know will never betray you. People who will always be there for you no matter what and who will never share your personal stories with strangers. This is among the few occasions when you can share some of your life and sleep well at night.
2. Only share what they should know
Again, even with close friends or your best friend, it’s important to stop yourself from simply sharing too much. Don’t go into great detail about your love life or kids, for example, but only share the basic idea of the situation so that those people can offer some advice. They don’t need to know everything in order to help you with a tip. It’s enough for you to offer them the relevant aspects of the story or situation and they will help you. We are sure of that.
3. Because you might receive precious advice
A good reason why you should definitely share some of your personal details with your friends is that they might offer you precious advice. These people have an outside perspective on what is happening and might know exactly what to do in your shoes. Remember that you should not listen to them if you don’t feel like their tips are not good for you but it’s important to at least ask. Who knows? Maybe one of your friends ends up having a brilliant idea that changes your whole life.
Why You Should Not Share
1. Because it makes you uncomfortable
You should never share too many intimate details of your life with the people around you because it will make you feel uncomfortable during your next meetings. You don’t want everyone to be gossiping around corners and looking at you weirdly because of what you said yesterday. Do not become that one friend who everybody makes fun of because they simply cannot shut their mouth. What’s worse, if they also know your family or the people you shared details about, this might affect them too. Do not be that person and protect your family.
2. Because of gossip
Let’s face it, people gossip. A lot. This is precisely why you should stop yourself from sharing way too many details of your personal life. You probably don’t want to become the talk of the town because of some story you shared with too many people. This also applies to social media. Do not confound your best friends with friends online. They are not the same people and won’t hesitate to talk about you and gossip. Be very careful with social media because, most of the time, it’s not your friend, at all.
How to Know if Your Friends are Comfortable or Not
You should also learn to read the signs that tell you whether or not your friends are comfortable with you sharing those personal details of your life. Those who are not will definitely show it by not listening to you or not even looking at you when you are talking. Some will also become distant and avoid taking part in these talks. This is not because they don’t like you but simply because they feel like you are sharing way too many details that they don’t want to know. It’s embarrassing for some and you should learn from that and avoid talking too much about your private stories.
When they are comfortable with your stories, friends will join in and offer opinions without any problems at all. This is how you separate those comfortable from the uncomfortable ones. Learn that people are different and that nobody has to sit all day listening to your personal stories the same way that others simply love it. Look around carefully and see who likes and who doesn’t.
How to Recognize Friends Who are Sharing Too Much
When it comes to those friends who are simply always sharing too much, they are easily recognizable. They are always talking about their life, love life, personal relationships, kids, parents, relatives, whatever may be. They don’t shy away from explaining to you last night’s intercourse or share details of discussions with their close ones. This can be embarrassing for some and interesting for others. However, you will definitely recognize this one friend if it’s already in your group. You probably cannot change their personality but if you don’t agree with what they’re doing and want to help them avoid gossip, you can have someone on one discussion and explain to them why they should stop. List them all the reasons why they should not be sharing so many personal details and why it will hurt them in the future. It’s their choice if they want to listen or not but you can always do your duty as a friend.
All in all, sharing personal intimacy stories with your friends can be a double-edged sword. Most of the time, people will take advantage of this and gossip about you around the corners. Other times, friends will help you with tips and even admire you for the courage to share so much. Regardless of what category you find yourself in, you always need to find a balance between personal life and the life you're sharing with your friends. It’s your choice after all.