First impressions are important, they live within our memories forever and you can’t wash them away at will. It’s imperative that you present the best possible version of yourself when you go and meet a potential partner for the first time. The saying is true; first impression really is the last impression, she’ll always remember how you made her feel when she first looked at you.
But it’s not just about the looks, it never is. It’s about the ‘first’ everything; the first time you made her laugh, the first time you complimented her, held her hand, hugged her, and so on. The overall vibe of your first meetup is determined by the conversation between you two, and how naturally it flowed. What matters the most at the end is how the two of you felt about spending your day together – and in this article, we’ll give you spot-on tips to succeed in that area. So, keep reading!
Excited and Anxious When Meeting Her For The First Time?
It’s human nature to feel excited, anxious, and even nervous about events that mean a lot to us. It’s fine to feel these emotions when you’re just about to see a girl for the first time. To some extent, it might help you bring out the best in you as well. However, when these get out of hand, it can result into some major regrets about the things that ‘could have gone right’.
If nervousness messes up the things you meant to say, the stuff you wanted to do, and the chance you thought you had, frustration is imminent. But, luckily, there’s a direct cure to nervousness; i.e. preparation. Luckily, that’s the exact purpose of this article. The 18 tips mentioned in the latter part of the prose will make you ready for anything when it comes to ensuring first-date success!
Ways to Keep your Jitters in Check
It’s super important to totally calm yourself down before the date begins. The calmer you are, the better your mind functions, making it easier for your unique personality to shine through. To accomplish this, keep these micro-tips in mind;
1. Keep yourself busy before the meetup
Lessen the time you have to dwell into thoughts about what could go wrong. Do this by engaging in tasks and getting them done. Not only will you fight nervousness, but also boost your productivity for the day!
2. Score an advantage by suggesting a well-known place
Going someplace that you’re already super familiar with can have an alarming effect on lowering first-meet jitters. It’ll give you a home-field advantage of sorts, where you already know the surroundings and the people well. The lesser the unknowns are, the calmer the mind is – that’s just how it is.
3. It’s not just you who’s nervous
Whenever you catch yourself dwelling too deep into the anxiousness of meeting them for the first time, remind yourself this: they’re probably nervous too! It’s the same on their side, while you worry about how you’ll look, she’s worrying about it too! Just think of it as meeting a new person and finding common ground with them, that’s all. Deep breath, champ.
18 Sure Fire Ways to Make Your First Chat a Success
Right, so let’s get into the ‘preparation’ part. It includes knowing more about the tips and ways to ensure your first meetup goes super well. The more you know and apply, the better it’ll all turn out to be.
It’s important to note that you can’t let your own personality be shelled and hidden under any of these tips though. You’re unique, and that’s the most powerful tool you have when it comes to leaving a strong impression! With that said, the mindful tricks we’ve listed here will always help you in your quest to find the perfect partner.
1. Filter and leave expectations aside
If you create imaginary expectations about your date preemptively, you’ll fail to enjoy the company you’ve actually got. Dating is a two-way experience, and if you don’t enjoy the chat with them as much, chances are, they might not either. So clear your mind and let possibilities come your way.
2. Perceive the date as an opportunity to explore
Meeting new people is probably the most fun thing you could do socially, whether or not you feel a romantic connection with them. No matter how your first chat goes, it still brings you an opportunity to enjoy fun conversations with a new person outside of your circle. Make the most of it!
3. Learn from the past
You’ve probably had some bad dates in the past, everybody does. Before going to meet them, think about the things you can do better this time to actually portray your personality for what it really is. If you accomplish that, you’ve won half the battle.
4. Be totally present in the moment
It’s easy to get distracted in today’s world, with screens, ads, phones ringing away all the time. Make sure you put your phone on silent and direct all your attention towards the person you’re chatting with. This will get them to reciprocate the same behavior, translating into a real potential connection.
5. Go in with the intention to enjoy your day
No matter what happens, you should come out of it with a fun experience. Say no to the pressure of finding a life partner through a casual first chat, keep it light on yourself. Let it flow naturally!
6. Observe and listen with an open mind
While chatting, try your best to not take anything personally. Let them speak up when they are, observe their ideas, focus on getting to know them. Don’t listen with an objective to respond, but to understand their thoughts. You should have a basic idea of what they’re all about coming out of this chat.
7. Become the person you’re looking for
Might sound weird, but it’s true. Think about it, maybe your standards are higher than the characteristics you hold. It’s never advisable to lower your standards though. Instead, elevate your own self to match the persona you’re interested in. Soon, you’ll attract what you’ve always look for!
8. Go with your instinct
Most of the times, you’ll know what the best move is in terms of steering the conversation, or when it’s the right time for a pun you just came up with. Letting your fear of failure convince you against it could sometimes result into missed opportunities. Just go with it, trust your gut feeling, do it!
9. Resist the urge to think about ‘how it’s going’
Do not focus on the outcome, focus on the process. As long as all your attention is on the connection forming between the two of you, you’d be at your personal best. There’s no big deal, don’t think about ‘what if it goes wrong’, reduce the emotional labor as much as you can.
10. Go into it to learn something about your own self
If you even feel a tiny bit of nervousness, that’s good news, you’re out of your comfort zone. Whenever that happens, you’re guaranteeing self-growth, and that’s a great achievement regardless of how your first chat goes. This is a win-win situation, free your mind and enjoy it without any pressure.
11. Ice breakers
Ice breakers are great tools for keeping the conversation going in the initial stages of dating. Not only do they help a couple converse more naturally, but also reveal valuable facts about them that help with opening up – feel free to use some!
12. Jokes to cover awkward silences
Firstly, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with silence. But, if you feel like talking when they aren’t, how about a funny little story you experienced with your friends, or a joke? Keep it all relevant to the situation though, it’d be great if your joke relates to something they said.
13. Questions to ask to make her unwind
First chats are all about getting to know each other. There’s only one verbal tool available to us when it comes to getting to know the other person, i.e. asking a question. Ask them about their goals, what motivates them, their passion, and what they’re currently going after.
14. There’s no room for judgement
Everybody has peculiar quirks within their personality, taste, and humor, etc. That’s what makes each and every one of stand out. If they trust you enough to embrace their true self and present it to you, take responsibility and drop all judgment. A good relationship starts with truth, and encouraging that is the best thing you can do in your first chat.
15. Don’t rush it
Don’t try to say things just to ensure a second date happens. It’ll move forward naturally if it’s meant to, let things unfold as they do.
16. Comparing dates is a mistake
Your past dates are irrelevant for all intents and purposes except for one; lessons. All you can do is learn from them, that’s strictly all. Don’t revisit those in order to put your current date in comparison with them, that’s a fatal mistake and could take you out of the vibe.
17. Compliment her, but don’t overdo it
If girls could just love one thing from guys, they’d probably be compliments. It instantly causes them to lower their defenses and feel more comfortable with you. Make it heartfelt, mention something that actually impresses you about them and they’ll be over the moon. Don’t overdo it though!
18. Tell her how you felt about it
It’s always good to put out your honest feeling about the first chat if it genuinely left a positive mark on you. It’s easier to reciprocate feelings than to feel them originally. Your positive thoughts about the first meetup could trigger her to focus on all the positives she felt too, making it a perfect icing on the cake – so remember this tip!
Keep all these practices in mind and apply more and more of these as you progress through the dates. Having the right tools and knowledge will keep nerves at bay, which means no more feelings of frustration after a terrible first chat. Sooner or later, you’ll find someone who’s going to make all those bad dates worthwhile, because it all led up to finding her. All the best in finding the partner meant for you!