7 Reasons Why He Is Not Ready For A Relationship With You

Why is he so into you but not asking you to be more than a date?

By Caren M
7 Reasons Why He Is Not Ready For A Relationship With You

Dating this guy for awhile but not moving forward?

Psst! Ladies come closer, gents if you excuse us, please. Have you ever been really into a guy and things seem to be working out great but not really because you’re stuck in the ‘What are we phase?’ well get your cup and pull up a seat because we are about to fill you up with very important tidbits. Get it? Tidbits, no? okay, well let’s get into it.

We all know the story of how men are from mars- the brutes, and we females are from the much fairer Venus and that means that the difference between the two creatures is night and day. Men are simple creatures but not really because sometimes they’ll point to right when they’re really thinking of left and expect you to know that it’s left and not right on their mind and this really applies when it comes to dating them.

Sometimes you’ll date a man and things will be going incredibly well. You’re both happy, the sex- if you’re having it is phenomenal and the world thinks you’re the cutest couple alive but when you bring up the ‘So… what are we conversation’ things take a turn and that’s when you realize that you might have been in a relationship by yourself.

So you go on a thinking spree to figure out why everything is ideally great but he just won’t commit. Here we’ve come up with some pretty solid reasons why your man might be having cold feet when he thinks of cuffing.

7 Reasons Why He is Not Ready For a Relationship With You

1 He’s had his heart broken before

It could be that your man was in a previous relationship and had his heart shattered into a million little pieces and now he’s just afraid of the same thing happening again.

It’s understandable when a person wants to maintain a little self-preservation and prevent another heartbreak so this has nothing to do with you.

The best way to handle a situation where he’s clearly into you but is afraid to get into a relationship because he fears for his fragile heart is to give him time and just continue showing him, love. Eventually, with a little patience, he may come around to wanting to take that next step with you.

2. He feels you’re moving at different paces

Maybe he feels you're moving at a different pace

He may feel that the pace you’re moving at is a little too fast for him. You know, when you go out a few times, you’re having a great time and just generally hanging out and then you ask him right in the middle of your hangout what you two are.

When a guy feels the pressure to declare what you two are, he may just decide to take the easier route and say he’s not ready to call you his bae. Men don’t do well with pressure and ultimatums. They like a rather simple way of thinking so you might be feeling you two are one step away from being hitched but if you start pushing him to take it to the next level and declare you as his own, then things might fall apart and he’ll back out.

3. He’s just not that into you

Casually dating and being in a relationship are two different things and while he may be portraying all the signs of someone that’s really into you when it comes to committing to a relationship, he may not be into you that much. And for many guys that find themselves in this situation, saying that he’s just not ready is much easier than telling you he’s not that into you, and he also doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.

4. He wants the fun parts of the relationship

This is a bit hard to stomach but it could be that he’s not looking for a relationship and all he wants is the fun parts of the relationship like sex and easy hanging out. A guy like this doesn’t want any strings attached and he may be looking all good and have all the right qualities but the minute the word relationship is mentioned he’s going to skedaddle out of there like he’s on fire.

5. He has another relationship going on

We’re still on the asshole guys and this type will say he’s not ready for a relationship but in truth, he may never be in one with you because you are possibly a fling he’s having on the side while he has a fully-fledged relationship going on in his life. Some men prefer to have some side action outside of their relationships and you may be a causality of one such man.

6. He could mean it literally

A guy could mean it literally that he’s not ready for a relationship because he really is no mental and emotional place for one. There could be too much going on his life already and he’s not willing to share his free time with you because he has to balance it between his friends and family at the same time. His lifestyle is not conducive enough to add you to the picture in a more permanent position.

7. You’re a  placeholder

It’s sad but true. Another reason why he says he’s not ready for relationship could be that he is ready for one, just not with you. A guy will spend time with you and be with you without taking the next step in the relationship because he wants you there to fill the position of a girlfriend without really being one because he doesn’t believe that you’re it for him and he’s still looking for the perfect girl for him.

Wait or Ask Him to Be Your Boyfriend?

Dating a guy is fun and initially, the relationship purgatory you’re in seems fine because you’re still figuring out if he’s the right guy for you or not. But soon you do figure it out and you want to take things to the next step. The problem with that is that your man may not be showing signs that he’s at the same level of commitment as you and you are left wondering whether you should approach him about it or not.

A relationship is about putting yourself out there and if you already know what you want, then you should be willing to have that conversation with your guy, no matter how uncomfortable the matter might be.

You may decide to wait for a bit longer especially if you two haven’t been dating for long. Give him time to process his own emotions but drop subtle hints that you’re ready for the next level of what your relationship has to offer. This way he won’t feel under pressure or like you’re giving him an ultimatum and he won’t make rash decisions.

If you’re uncomfortable with the situation as it is then you’re gonna have to put on your big girl panties and ask him if he wants to take things to the next level and be your official boyfriend. Before you build-up to this, observe how he is around you. If he treats you more like a girlfriend or more like a casual hookup so that when it comes to the big talk, you’ll have an idea of where his mind is at.

If he says that he’s not ready for a relationship then you must remember what you want. Let him know that you’re ready for one. Chances are that is he’s not ready now, he’ll never be with you and sometimes it’s just better to walk away before your heart is broken into a million pieces. If at all he wants to be with you and genuine reasons are stopping him, he’ll try and work it out with you.

Related Article: 15 Signs You Are Not Ready For A Relationship
15 Signs You Are Not Ready For A Relationship

The idea of being in a relationship may seem awesome. But are you really ready for it? Here are 15 signs that you're not.


There are many reasons why a guy may not be ready for a relationship with you and some of them may have nothing to do with you. Make what you want clear and if he’s not willing to meet you halfway then you have to make the tough decision of whether to cut your losses or stick it out. Always remember to stay true to yourself and make the best decision for you going forward.


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