What are Daddy Issues?
We have heard this term a lot of times but have different opinions about what it actually means. So let’s clear it up, shall we? Daddy issues are a group of psychological behaviors that could vary from person to person, depending on the type of relationship they had with their father. Why father? Because a good and strong father figure builds up a strong personality for the kids and secures their confidence. Anything that messes up this relationship could ruin someone’s personality entirely.
Unfortunate events like, father’s death early in the childhood, a dad who frequently beats up the mom, alcoholic and unstable father, and even careless fathers who are too busy to handle family. These are the families that raise unstable children with major daddy issues. Girls from these families always seek love from others but are irrational themselves to maintain a calm and balanced life. The traumas that create daddy issues are irreversible, but they need to be understood and taken care of.
Signs of Daddy Issues
Everyone needs to watch out for these signs because they might be secretly affecting your life and relationships. Girls with a troubled past with their fathers are sensitive. They lack a major chunk of a good and healthy home environment just because their fathers were too abusive, careless, or even totally absent. Girls with daddy issues have a mind wired to fill that void somehow whether through people or a certain behavior.Here are some pointers to identify girls with possible daddy issues:
1. The constant need for reassurance
Especially in romantic relationships, these girls will often be insecure about the way their man feels. Constantly seeking love and getting reassured is their way of handling love. It’s mainly because they never had that type of confidence in life where they knew for sure that they were loved. That kind of confidence comes with an affectionate relationship with both parents and especially the father. So unless the boyfriend is always showering her with adoration, she’s likely to be insecure.
2. Dating older men
Older men are more likely to be caring and soft towards their partner. Often girls with daddy issues trying to compensate for the missing love from their father by finding someone older and more mature to handle them. But older guys don’t always mean mature guys. They might not always provide comfort and security as expected.
3. Falling for the wrong people
People with daddy issues have felt rejected all their lives. They usually don’t believe in love. This makes them fall for people who feel the same way. It is only natural to console your brain into creating a negative image of the world around you. But finding similar people doesn’t make the relationship easier, it makes it harder.
4. Sexually Harsh and Aggressive
It might seem odd but it is often seen that women with daddy issues tend to take it all out during sex and romance. They like to take the lead and feel empowered. This might work for some guys but others might be jerks who love to just play around. Sex is not supposed to define your personality, so it’s no use being aggressive.
5. Major trust issues
Girls with daddy issues are always skeptical about people, their beliefs, and their relationships. Even if someone tries to approach them with kindness, they reject their intentions and get suspicious and scared. All this because of a series of dishonest promises and hopes given by their fathers all their lives.
How to Fix Girls With Daddy Issues?
Putting on stigma on someone doesn’t make the problem go away, it makes it worse. People who were not lucky enough to have a blissful family environment should not be blamed or held responsible. They should be handled with care and given love. And yes, you can fix girls with daddy issues if you actually look for the person she is on the inside.
When She Doesn't Know She Has Daddy Issues
They say ignorance is bliss. Maybe if she knew, she wouldn’t have handled it better on her own. Maybe she needs a little help knowing her situation from a friend. It’s alright to not know, but it’s not okay to stand by and watch. Fix her with these few tips:
Don’t treat it like her weakness
We all have flaws in some kind of way but we can’t let them define us. The same goes for girls with daddy issues. It is not their weakness that they had a rough past. It is not their weakness that they lacked affection in life. Make it her strength and focus on the good in her.
Remind her that you’ll stay
Either friend or more than that, it’s up to you to restore that faith in her for love. She might not have had a healthy relationship in her life but now is her chance to have one. Someone who understands is all it takes.
Be patient with her in fights
This could be the reason she lashes out quite often. But it’s okay, take it easy. Keep calm when she is upset over something or you happen to initiate a fight with her. When things cool down, then you can explain your side of the story and make her comfortable with opening up to you. She might not have experienced this earlier.
Being forceful would be wrong
Girls with daddy issues are aware of threats and negative energy around them. If you force the same energy on her, she’ll be gone before you know it. Patience is the key. Don’t implement your thoughts on her and take away her choices and opinions.
When She is Aware That She Has Daddy Issues
Imagine you meet a girl who is a bit complicated but you like her. You get to know her and find out she had a difficult past. She admits to knowing she has daddy issues. Can you imagine the pressure on her heart? Can you imagine the burden she carries in her mind? She must feel alienated and hesitant. Honestly, this world doesn’t make it easier. But you can change her mind if you put your heart into it.
Change her opinion about men
Girls who’ve been in bad relationships with men keep a strict opinion about all men in general. Some bad seeds indeed ruin the reputation of everyone around them but that doesn’t mean you should lose faith in everyone. Tell her men are nice too, not by words but by actions. Make her believe in this concept that men are capable of so much love, respect, and affection.
Don’t challenge her thoughts
The biggest mistake we do when counseling people, is trying to change the way they think. If you criticize her upfront and declare her thoughts meaningless, then you’re failing big time. Accept what she is going through, accept her thoughts and opinions then try to reason with her little by little.
Shower her with affection
The best thing a woman can experience is the warm love and affection of a genuine partner. Who doesn’t love being pampered and attended to like a baby? All it takes is love to heal any kind of scar, no matter how deep it runs.
Leave her father out of this
Don’t favor her father too much, but that doesn’t mean you can bash him either. She will never get over the hurt she’s been through because of him. Whether it was an abusive relationship, or fights with mom. But, he is still her father even though they’ve had their ups and downs in life and you have no right to target him. It’s already too hard for her.
When to Walk Away from Such Girls
It’s always a good thing to give these girls a chance. Years of abuse, getting yelled at, beaten up, and even left by their fathers create wounds deep to the heart. They’re not to be blamed; instead, they should be handled well. We should try and change their perspective of men in general and also the world. But if every effort fails, every word ignored, and every attempt gone to waste, then that is the time to give up.
Girls, who know they have daddy issues, build an impenetrable wall around them. If you’re able to break that wall, perfect. But if you lose too much of yourself in the process, sadly, it’s time to walk away.
Everyone deserves to have that sense of security growing up but that doesn’t mean everyone gets it. Girls who’ve had an alcoholic father or an abusive father ruins the image of every man that ever comes in their life. It’s not their fault, it’s just life. But when a girl like this is willing to move forward, help her and accept her. Don’t let her lag because of an unlucky childhood.