Obsessing Over Someone? 7 Ways to Keep Your Cool

Can't think of anyone else except that person? Find your cool.

By Fred S.
Obsessing Over Someone? 7 Ways to Keep Your Cool

Having a crush can be an exciting, unusual, and overwhelming experience for some people, and it can also be a pain for others. As you step into the scary world of puberty, these feelings of sudden attraction towards other people become much more apparent. There is neither love nor lust. As you grow older, you'll realize that it is all a normal part of life.

You see, the high school football team striker walking through the hallway, and when he runs his hand through his hair, your heart skips a beat, and you blush. Or, as a guy, you suddenly start to stare at the girl sitting next to you on the bus, fixing her makeup. One minute you're busy doing homework, and the next minute you start drawing hearts with you and your crush's initials written below them. 

Why You Should Keep Your Calm Around Your Crush:

Controlling your nerves around your crush might sound impossible, but it’s the best thing you could possibly do. Not only does it improve your chances to one day potentially go out with them, but if not, it at least makes sure you seem less stupid. When you’re not shaking and blushing around your crush, you get an opportunity to really be yourself and think about what you’re doing and saying. Without all the nerves clouding your thoughts, you’ll see them as a potential future significant other rather than just a crush. This translates into your actions too, as you make better moves to get closer and get to know them.

Here are some key reasons to stay calm around them;

1. You don't want them to think you're all over the place:

If you're always fixing your hair or sweating whenever you're near your crush, it will make them think you're a mess who can't handle public interaction. So, the best way to act around your crush is just to be yourself and let the conversation take its course. Take a few deep breaths whenever you feel anxious or just excuse yourself to the bathroom. 

2. Calm is sexy:

People admire confidence and a calm attitude. Tripping over your words or talking too much will be a huge turn-off. Be a good listener and ask questions where needed. It will make them know that you're interested in them and help you understand each other's interests and passions.

3. Nobody likes awkwardness:

Talking about how your dog died when you were in second grade isn't a perfect conversation starter. Being too personal will just make things awkward between the two of you. You should ask them about their interests and hobbies and keep the conversation flowing from there. If there is an awkward moment, you can either acknowledge it or simply ignore it. 

7 Ways to Keep Your Cool around Them:

1. Treat your special someone like an average person:

Many people like to treat their crushes as if they're from another planet. Whenever you're around your crush, remember that they are normal human beings with normal emotions, just like you. Switching your perspective will help you not to act silly or nervous whenever you see them around. Don't treat them like they're a celebrity. Treating your crush like that will just put unnecessary pressure on you to act in a specific way all the time. Instead, take a step back and remind yourself that it isn't that big of a deal. It'll help you to act normally whenever you see them.

2. Act natural around your crush:

Acting natural around your special someone is easier said than done. Remember that forcing yourself to work a certain way will make you more nervous. The faker you try to act, the more noticeable it will be. You might want to attract attention, but this isn't the best way to do it. Your crush will notice if you're acting a little off and will think you're weird. Just take a few deep breaths and be yourself. Your crush will interpret your behavior as natural and calm, and they will be encouraged to act the same way. Be natural, and everything will work out on its own.

3. Don't doubt yourself:

 Remember to always be yourself while around your crush. Don't doubt yourself and have confidence. You're yourself, and that is all that matters. If you're standing in a group with your crush and something dumb came out of your mouth, just roll with it. You'll all get a laugh out of it, and you can move on to the next thing afterward. Maybe you'll keep thinking about how dumb you sounded later at night, but silliness is charming on its own. Being goofy and saying stupid stuff is funny. Don't try to be something you aren't in front of your crush that never works out. If they're judgmental based on little things, then maybe they're not worth having a crush on. 

4. Have confidence in your appearance:

Many people think that they need to dress a certain way whenever their crush is around. There is often a feeling of being and looking perfect whenever your special someone is around. You should be confident in your appearance even on days you don't have makeup on or aren't wearing fancy clothes. You don't always have to dress to impress. Wearing a simple t-shirt or a pair of your old jeans will not make them dislike you. Always wear clothes you're comfortable in. Dressing appropriately but still being comfortable will boost your confidence. Having good hygiene will also help you with your self-confidence. It will also make you feel better when around your crush.

5. Accept yourself for who you are

Whenever you're around your crush, remind yourself that you are enough and that you don't need to be someone else for people to like you. It increases your confidence and also helps with nervousness when you're around your crush. There is no bigger turn off than a person who keeps bragging, whether it be about wealth, status, or intelligence. Nobody likes show-offs. Be humble and respectfully discuss your talents whenever you're standing in a group where your crush is present. Don't go boasting about how good you are at everything. It will do the opposite of what you want. Boasting makes people believe that you're a narcissist who cares about no one else but yourself. 

6. Accept that you cannot avoid them:

Remind yourself that it is normal if you're thinking about them all the time. They might be on your mind when you're walking in the hallway smiling to yourself and could suddenly appear in front of you. Just act like yourself. Wave at them or smile if you see them looking at you. The key to not being nervous whenever they're around is accepting that you have a crush on them and reminding yourself that they are a normal person like you. You can't keep changing your route whenever you see them walking towards you. Remember that they can't be avoided and take a few deep breaths whenever you see them. Just be yourself and have faith in yourself. Be calm and collected, and everything will be okay.

7. Realize that you are way off:

In our minds, we view crushes as people we are going to marry and spend the rest of our lives with. This type of thinking will only make you more and more nervous. Take control of your imagination. So the next time, whenever you see them, you don't become a nervous wreck of a human. Remember you're your imagination is just like a fantasy and the reality is nothing like that. This will also help you remain calm and collected in front of your special someone whenever you see them in school, or somewhere you didn't expect them to be. In the end, remember, we are all human, and we all get nervous. Just find ways to tackle that heavy feeling in your stomach, and you'll be just fine.

Related Article: I Have A Crush On You: What Can You Do To Move Forward
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Summary:

Everyone is insecure, and everyone just wants to be loved. When you are talking to your crush, remember that they’re human too. True, some people can look like they have no insecurities, but none of us are perfect. We all are worried about how we aren’t good enough. But we need to remind ourselves every day that we are enough. We need to work on our flaws and be the best version of ourselves. So when you are standing next to your crush, trying to be flirty and charming, remember that they are just as likely to be nervous and insecure. Even if it can’t be seen on the outside.

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