Holding Your Hand While Sleeping: What Does It Mean?

Is there a meaning when he holds my hand when we are sleeping?

By Kazuko Otsuka
Holding Your Hand While Sleeping: What Does It Mean?

Hand Holding in Bed: A Good Sign or a Bad Sign?

At the start of any relationship, couples learn more about each other. They find out their partner’s favorite snack, least favorite tv show, favorite place to dine in, and the list goes on. The tiny details and quirks start to appear. This is usually the stage where you find out if they like to hold hands or show any form of PDA in the open. The more you spend time with someone, the more you learn more about them. Sometimes for the best, and, sadly, for others, for the worst. As time goes on, you realize that maybe you did not like them as much as you thought you did.

If you’re in the stage of sleeping over at each other’s place or you’re currently living together, more details tend to show. After a few nights of sleeping together on the same bed, you begin to notice something. You wake up in the morning and your hands are locked with your partner. You wonder when this appended, but you’re too groggy to find out the answer. You’re left wondering if there is meaning when he or she holds your hand while you’re sleeping.

Is this just their habit? Is this a sign of affection? Should you be worried? Should you be happy? The questions continue to come and you’re left at an impasse. To better understand the meaning behind hand-holding during sleep, let’s first take a look at the different types of sleeping positions out there. You can use this as your basis.

Different Types of Sleeping Positions

1. Spooning

Source: Instagram/threeundertherain

Spooning while sleeping is the most common sleeping position. In this position, there is the “big spoon” and the “little spoon.” Men tend to like being the “big spoon” because it makes them feel protective of their partner. The “little spoon” is the one who is wrapped snugly by the “big spoon.” While spooning, you and your partner tend to hold each other’s hands. This is a sign of trust and affection. There is a subconscious interchange of trust while spooning. Couples in the first few months of their relationship tend to settle for spooning. Top it off with hand-holding and you have yourself a very vulnerable yet sexual sleeping position.

2. Leg Hug

Source: Instagram/szymur_robi_dziary

A not so popular of the sleeping positions present is the leg hug or leg locking. Inseparable couples tend to sleep while locking their legs. Imagine otters who sleep holding their hands to stop themselves from floating away from each other- that’s what couples who leg hug are. Leg hugging is a sign that you and your partner have great communication and have an undeniable telepathic connection. You function as a pair and level each other out. Now, add some hand-holding with this sleep position and you and your partner are now a force to be reckoned with. Not only do you bring out the best in each other but you also know each other’s limits. Leg hugging and hand-holding should not be taken lightly. You’re lucky if you have both.

3. Hogs Space

As was mentioned at the beginning of this article, the longer the relationship stands the more bad habits tend to appear. Do you dislike the way your partner leaves their dirty clothes all over the house? Or, maybe it's the way he hogs up space in the bed while you sleep. This sleeping position is not a good position compared to spooning or leg hugging. No one wants the blanket or their space is taken away from them during your beauty sleep. It’s alright for a few days, but after a while it gets annoying. However, there is another side to this picture. Does your partner like to hold your hand while taking up most of the bed? If yes, then this could be a sign that he or she wants their own time and freedom but is reluctant to do so.

Source: Instagram/jasmine_princesswarior

Hogging space while hand-holding is not a common pair. The couples who find themselves in this position are left with mixed emotions. They want to get annoyed and tell their partners to stop while feeling happy that they are holding their hands. A good way to address this situation is to communicate with your partner and tell them how you feel with their bad habit. It’s a difficult habit to get rid of, but it’s not impossible. Through perseverance, it can be done.

4. Back-to-Back aka Butt Touch

Source: Instagram/littlenuggetcomics

In this sleeping position, it is not possible to hold hands. That would be quite uncomfortable if you tried. The back-to-back sleeping position is for veteran couples who have finished their honeymoon period. The butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling is replaced with security and independence. Couples who sleep back-to-back value each other’s independence and space. They are secure in one another and don’t need constant affection to keep the relationship alive. Despite sleeping facing away from each other, there is still closeness in the relationship.

5. Neck Nuzzling

Source: Twitter/MsG00die2Sh0es

Let’s take a couple of steps back and remember the honeymoon stage in your relationship. If you’re currently there, then you’re probably the neck nuzzling couple. This sleeping position shows that you are head-over-heels in love. You’d rather sleep on your partner than on the pillow. You don’t want a centimeter of the distance between the two of you. Add some hand-holding with this sleeping position and you’re practically inseparable. You’re basically glued to each other and can’t get enough of each other and want to be intertwined even while you sleep. Though generally not a very comfortable sleeping position, neck nuzzling shows that your relationship is strong and is not lacking in romance. Keep that fire alive.

6. Hand-Holding

Source: Instagram/anett.blogs

Similar to the back-to-back position, hand-holding while sleeping shows independence and trust in the relationship. This is for the couples who are not a big fan of cuddling and close contact while sleeping. To keep that physical affection alive while keeping distance, couples tend to handhold while they sleep. These couples share a strong bond with each other but feel the urge not to cuddle throughout the evening. You’re basically saying you are connected but still need personal space. Don’t feel bad or alarmed if you’re in this position. It’s not a bad thing, more so, you can be happy that the trust is strong with your partner. You know each other’s limits and understand each other’s personal space.

Red Flags to Look Out For

It’s all fun and games until you find yourself hand-holding with a stranger or an acquaintance. There’s no problem if you’re hand-holding with your special someone, but what if it’s someone you’re not close to? Let’s say you went out drinking with your friends and all of you get wasted. You crash at one of your friend’s houses not remembering what happened in the course of the night. Hungover, you wake up to find someone holding your hand as you sleep. You quickly pull away as you stare at the person whose hand was just intertwined with yours.

If it’s someone you just met that night, you wonder why they would hold your hand while you sleep. It could be they were just equally as drunk as you were and they did not know what they were doing, or they could have a crush on you. Either way, keep your guard up and if it happens again, might be best to call them out on it. Hand holding while sleeping is reserved for people who are getting to know each other, couples, or even friends with benefits. When it becomes hand holding with strangers, that’s the start of a horror film.

Related Article: Your 101 Guide on How to Hold Hands with Your Love
Your 101 Guide on How to Hold Hands with Your Love

Advice and guide on how to hold hands with someone you love


It’s great to be in a relationship built on trust. You understand each other to the fullest and you bring out the best in each other. You help each other through hard times and know when to give space. Couples like these are the ones who handhold during their sleep. It’s a good sign and you shouldn’t be worried. The next time you wake up and your hand is interlocked with him or she remembers this. You’re in a happy relationship and you should enjoy the sweet moments together to the fullest.