9 Signs that You Are Meant For Love Hate Relationship

I used to hate him but now I love him - are you the same?

By Sameet
9 Signs that You Are Meant For Love Hate Relationship

What is a Love Hate Relationship?

If you’re ever been in a romantic relationship, you would understand this pretty well. There are times when you feel completely blissful in your partner’s arms and you cannot imagine a life without them. But alongside these cute moments, there are times when you want to just scream and strangle that same person. Weird, you say? This is what we call a Love-Hate relationship and here’s what you need to know about it.

It’s true that every kind of relationship has ups and downs, roadblocks, and even stop signs. But that is entirely different from a Love-Hate relationship. Some people are mistaken by the fact that these things happen in a relationship normally and these bad times are just phases. But little do they know these bad phases could be the start of something really toxic and difficult to evade. There can be too many mixed emotions that a person gets tired of eventually. A person is bound to reconsider even being in that relationship. This is how dangerous the ‘hate’ part is in a Love-Hate relationship. There comes a time when love cannot compensate for the damage hate does.

9 Signs that You Are/Should be in a Love Hate Relationship

If you’re still confused, here are some signs that can tell you if you’re in a love-hate relationship, or if you are that person who could be in one.

1. Extremes of emotions

No matter what happens in your love life, it is extreme. A love-hate relationship is like Bipolar disorder where the Love moments are so overwhelming and sweet. You feel like staring in each other’s eyes, having butterflies when doing something romantic, etc. But the hate parts are equally intense. You feel like leaving the room where he is, his existence starts to get on your nerves, and every fight ends up with harsh comments and a ruined mood.

2. Infinite loop of making and breaking up

It’s okay when things got rough in a fight as long as you always find yourself back to that person, without considering leaving them at any instant. But in a love-hate relationship, the things end pretty quickly and without having a patience phase involved at all. After a fight or a misunderstanding, things get so harsh within minutes that you decide to break up in a rash moment. After a while, you start missing them and try to make it up again. This shows how unstable the relationship is, and you both need to work on your anger management issues. And if you have that kind of personality, a love-hate relationship might be for you.

3. The relationship seems like an investment

You recall the times when the relationship was at its weakest and you both tried to fix it. All that time and energy you invested, it seems as if the whole relationship is more important than that person himself/herself. You sometimes think to yourself that walking away or leaving would be a total waste of all those previous efforts. This shows you don’t really want to be with that person but want the relationship to keep working somehow. That is a love-hate sign to watch for.

4. The relationship lost its purpose a while ago

There are times you might think, will this work in the future? Do we really love each other the same? These doubts mean you are unsure of where this relationship will take you, and just want to avoid this topic. The true meaning is long lost somewhere that you need to find soon. But if you’re okay with this type of easy and free relationship, then this might be for you.

5. You have no room for deep connections

When you dig deeper into a relationship to find aspects that will rescue it, there might be none. The only things left between you tow are superficial stuff like how good people think you look together, how this is good economically, but there is no loving bond left. This works best for people who don’t want intense emotions in their lives. If you are one of those people who run from commitment, then this is for you.

6. What you feel, your partner feels too

If you have decided where you and your feelings stand in a relationship, let’s find out if the feelings are mutual. This love-hate relationship might just be a thought in your head or a simple exaggeration of your feelings. But if you share these thoughts with your partner, and they feel the same, then it’s a sure sign you both are in a love-hate relationship.

7. Your efforts seem like a lost cause

When you’re truly in love with someone, you will go miles for them to correct any sort of mistake or misunderstanding between you two because that comes from the heart. But in a love-hate relationship, there is no motivation to make amends because they hate factor becomes too dominant and extreme. Things you do in the love extreme of this relationship will always have a slight amount of doubt and mixed feeling in them and never be pure. If you doubt everything, it means this is going in the wrong direction.

8. There is always the blame game going on

A few moments into a fight, the sole reason that started the fight becomes forgotten. Everything comes down to whose fault it is really. Instead of fixing the issues that create these disputes, you both focus on proving each other wrong and trying to make one person apologize. And we all know well how hard that is.

9. You often irritate the person on purpose

Imagine that it has been a lovely week with your babe and nothing has ruined your moods. But suddenly you create an argument out of nowhere. That kind of behavior can depict that you might or ought to have a love-hate relationship that makes you do these kinds of impulsive and unacceptable things.

Books on Love Hate Relationship to Relate To

Here are some of the most popular reads on love-hate relationships. All these depict a situation where this constant give-and-take of extreme emotions and feelings.

The Hating Game

The Hating Game – HarperCollins

This book by Sally Thorne is a very fun and light depiction of a love-hate relationship. It is filled with witty jokes and relevant content relating to the problem faced by many couples nowadays. It’s hilarious and brilliant, with promising reviews.


Obsidian : Jennifer L. Armentrout :

Obsidian is a part of a thrilling series by Jennifer L. Armentrout who is well-known for her work in fiction, fantasy, romance, etc. This book gets can get the reader hooked from the first page to the last. It puts a twist in the regular relationship issues like love-hate relationships with science fiction and intriguing mysteries.


Vicious (Sinners of Saint Book 1) eBook: Shen, L.J.: Amazon.in: Kindle Store

The story in Vicious is very relatable to those having love-hate feelings under different conditions and situations. A brilliant yet so feared man whose story will explain well how love-hate relationships can actually become dangerous.


Bully (The Fall Away Series Book 1)

Here is a masterpiece to read by Penelope Douglas that has been cherished by readers. The book delivers an extraordinary romance story between two people, highlighting the fine line between love and hate that is an essential part of their love story. This book also promotes a powerful message of letting one loose of a toxic relationship instead of sulking over it and ruining one’s life.

Quotes on Love Hate Relationships

Let’s hear what people around the world have to say about love-hate relationships. It’s a good thing to know that some people are okay with it, they turn the wheel around to a bright side and make a good relationship out of love and hate combined.

We planned each other’s murder

People think we had a love-hate relationship. Well, I did not love him, nor did I hate him. We had mutual respect for each other, even as we both planned each other’s murder. –Werner Herzog

This quote clearly depicts how love-hate relationships don’t really look much, but are disastrous inside. Here’s a light way to put it. If you’ve experienced this, you’ll definitely get this.

Someone who used to love you

No one can hate you with more intensity than someone who used to love you. –Rick Riordan

See how once deep lovers can become arch enemies?

Those who destroy them

Often it is the most deserving people who cannot help loving those who destroy them. –Hermann Hesse

The sweetest thing

There's nothing in this world so sweet as love. And next to love the sweetest thing is hate. –Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Calling love hate

I got a problem, can you relate? I got a woman calling love hate. –Eric Clapton

Related Article: How to manage if you are in a Love-Hate Relationship
How to manage if you are in a Love-Hate Relationship

What is a Love-Hate Relationship and how to cope with it


No matter what type of person you are, or what type of relationship suits you. But a love-hate relationship is one to steer clear from. Assess your situation, your relationship, and figure out whether you need to fix it or simply get out of it.