When He Asks For Space, Is It Over Or Is There Hope?

Felt your stomach dropped when he texted you to ask for space?

By Diana Nadim
When He Asks For Space, Is It Over Or Is There Hope?

What Does It Mean When He Asks For Space?

No other words sound as awful as when the man you love asks for a time out. It feels like the man doesn’t want you around him anymore. The thought of rejection can make any woman’s stomach churn.

Chances are, you are thinking back about your wrongs. Unsurprisingly so many uncertainties run through the mind of a woman.  What does he mean? Is he walking out of the relationship? Are you not pleasing him?

It is okay to scour through your relationship to find clues on what's happening, or where you stand.

But what does he mean?

1. Red Flag

He may be feeling like walking out of the relationship, but he can’t find the best way to tell you about it. So, he uses the excuse to annoy you, and once you let him off, it is over!

2. Another Person’s Turn

Girl, this is a placeholder language, and he wants to date other people other than you. He can’t let you go, so he asks you to step aside for his adventure.

He’ll come back on his terms, you know, when he is full and thank you for being his safety net.

3. Time For Reflection

Although you may want to think the worst out of the situation, your man honestly needs some space. Your union might be smothering him at the moment, and he needs to be alone to reflect.

Evaluating Your Relationship Dynamics So Far

Although the anxiety can be clouding, you need to identify what you as a couple genuinely deserve to happen within the union.

It is not about how much time you spend together, but the quality of that whole time. It is, therefore, crucial to evaluate your union.

You require trust, affection, empathy, patience, interest, respect, and appreciation for everything to work. Most importantly, check for healthy conflict resolutions.

If any of this is short-coming, it’ll strain your relationship prompting for his quest.  Because the truth is, you may not be inflicting direct physical and emotional pain on each other. However, the disappointment you both bring home may be leaving you in a constant state of desperation.

Apart from that, you can know where your relationship stands from your every recent event. For instance, did your actions push him away, or is it on his own accord? It is vital to know who between you two is faulty and unhappy most of the time.

This way, you don’t have to push him asking for the reasons, or trying to give in solutions for his problems. You will learn to live with the gaps for the time being as you walk through it.

Signs That There Is Hope For The Relationship

Stop tripping over his words. His quest could be harmless because couples need alone time to 'recharge' and confront their flaws.

For your information, you can drain each other’s charge if you spend too much time together. Without much breath, routine, and getting too comfortable can and dim the glow in your love life. Therefore, there’s no need to obsess about it and instead, respect him and give him his desire.

There’s no doubt, however, that what is at stake will be scary for you, and you need relief in some assurance.

Unfortunately, you have to look for it because it may not come out of him straight-forward. Here are the signs that he is honest and that it is not over.

1. There Are Still Moments Of Comfort

No one knows how much space their lover requires or how long it will take. It could take a long time. What happens in between, however, determines your fate. 

For instance, if you are both comfortable to check up on each other once in a while, and still feel that sense of being ‘home,’  then you have a chance of surviving this trespass.

2. Individual Accountability

The magic moment is when you both realize that a winning game is when you both own individual contributions to your situation. If he doesn’t blame you solely, hold on.

3. Good Communication

Your union is stable if you can both stay with one issue at a time without dragging mistakes from the past.

There’s hope if you can both reach a consensus without dwelling on your past, and believe what you need from each other in the present matters most.

4. Concern

Although you are at fault, your partner still shows concern when they express their disappointment.  And when you are both at a genuine place of heartbreak, he can notice your distress and choose compassion over dominance.

5. You Both Want It To Work

If he thinks that space can make him see things clearly for your relationship, clinging on isn’t the best advice. Let him loose.

It takes two, and if he is in it, then it is just a hiccup.

Signs That All Is Over For The Relationship

Unless you genuinely know that it is over, no one wants to believe it. You may try to hold on to the hope and faith in you and ignore the telltale signs that there’s nothing more you can do.

No union fixes itself. And if he is not putting in the same effort to salvage your love-life, protecting yourself from heartache is part of the deal.

Remember that although relationships are hard, and not fun, they should not hurt. Be on the lookout if the time out is not helping things to get better.

How long ago did he ask for space? What is he doing about it? Know that it is time if the answers don’t make sense.

Although you’ve come a long way, let go if you see any of these signs.

6. Losing Each Other Is Not A Bother

If you gladly give him the space without questions and you find it a relief, don’t waste any more time.

Maybe, you both want it. And there’s a slight chance of coming back together if you are comfortable without one another.

7. Fulfilling His Needs At Your Expense

How often does he ask you for space? If he is always seeking breathing air at the expense of your desire, you aren't on the same page anymore. It is prudent to choose consistency over conformity.

8. Your Gut!

Sometimes, your body can pick up your ideas before your body. Although you may spend time-fighting it off, listen to what your body is collecting.

You can sense if he is never coming back from his mood and body language. Therefore, it is wise to listen to that little voice in you rather than tamping it down.

9. They Are Suddenly Spending More Time With Friends And Family

He couldn’t even wait, and all of a sudden, he is all over every club and party drinking his livers off. You can’t help but notice how genuine his smiles in the photos are? It hurts, right?

10. You Can’t Picture Your Future Together

You ask for space because you want to make your future together possible. However, the distance between you is not bringing a picture of better days to you.

Don't fight for it if the distance makes you question if it'll be any better when he comes back.

Reflect And Grow To Become A Better You Regardless Of The Outcome

Choose not to ponder whether he'll come back or not and work on yourself when taking his space. Avoid trying to read his mind.

While you are apart, take this chance to be happy and create a better version of yourself. For instance, replenish your social life, work-out, find your hobbies, and be positive about your life because you will need it.

The trick is that you might need to back bring the best 'you' into the union, and make it as right as it can be. Therefore, instead of seeking happiness and fulfillment or negativity in your situation, turn it around and make the situation work for your good.

Remember, you don’t extract the goodness from around you, but from within you. It is attractive when you make it enough for others.

Related Article: 15 Tips On How To Give Him Space And Make Him Miss You
15 Tips On How To Give Him Space And Make Him Miss You

Times to give your partner space to come back to love you even more


There’s a balance between closeness and space in every desirable relationship. It is, therefore, crucial to be open to balancing it out instead of overthinking things.