What He Really Means When He Says, “You Deserve Better”

Many people assume that “you deserve better” is a compliment. People assume that this phrase implies that the other person is trying to say that they’re not up to your level – that you’re being humble for giving them a chance. However, most of the time, it’s hardly a compliment since, if a man says “you deserve better” he might be trying to tell you that if you force him into a relationship, he may not put in a hundred percent effort to make sure the relationship works.

Perhaps he doesn’t have enough time on his hands to invest himself in a relationship or he might not think that you’re important enough compared to everything else in his life at the moment. Having said that, he basically means that he is at a stage in his life where he is not ready for a serious relationship. This may sound callous and cruel but is nothing short of reality doing its work. If you mistakenly take his remarks as a compliment, you won’t be the first girl to do so – but, reality check – it’s anything but a compliment!

Nobody says “you deserve better” if they think they deserve you. If a man told you that you deserve better, chances are that he isn’t interested in you, for whatever reason, and chose a cowardly approach to a break up with you. Having said that, he might feel like a loser, since he wasn’t brave enough to confess things as they are and forced you to read between the lines. Moreover, he might’ve realized how immature he is – commitment takes a lot of maturities and hard work, and since he fails to commit to you, it’s a sign that he’s immature and insecure. Speaking of insecurity, he might also feel a bit sad or depressed since he might’ve realized that he has low self-esteem. You might’ve helped him analyze his own mental capacity by shedding light on his issues.

Have you ever thought about what it means when he says, “you deserve better”? Is it simply a statement, or is it a confession, or are there more hidden meanings enclosed in this three-word phrase? Here are three suggestions regarding what he might mean when he says “you deserve better”:

When a man tells you that you deserve better, chances are, he is trying to warn you about potential heartbreak well ahead of time, just so that you won’t be disappointed or hurt when it actually happens since it will happen! You see, once someone truly wants to spend time with you, they’ll figure out ways to spend time with you, regardless of if they deserve you or not. Moreover, since he might get a feeling that you are far more invested than he is in making sure you guys end up in a relationship, it could be that he is trying to back you off. It’s a nice way of saying that he can’t give you what he knows you deserve in a relationship.

The brighter side of the “you deserve better” phase is that at least it lets you see a man for what he truly is. He isn’t trying to hang you in the closet, waiting for the right time to take you out, instead, he is telling things as they are. The reality of these words is that they uncover the truth. Thus, it might actually be true that he might genuinely think that you deserve someone better than him. Maybe he has on-going personal issues he wants to work on before he dives into a relationship with someone else.

If a man tells you that you deserve better, chances are, he has already come to the conclusion that he can’t meet up to your expectations.  Perhaps you’ve been raised in a social setup very different than his and he feels like he simply cannot cope up with your ways. He might feel intimidated by your friends and family members and thus might not be able to live up to your expectations, even in the relationship itself. Perhaps you would expect more time than he can invest in the relationship.

No man walks up and says “you deserve better” to a girl he may have a shot at being in a relationship with. However, if a guy told you “you deserve better”, you might want to back away, here’s why:

When a man tells you that you deserve better, he is hinting at the fact that you should walk away. He might not be willing to put in the effort or energy he should be investing to make things work. Know that this has nothing to do with you (many girls blame themselves for a man not loving them back) but know that it’s not your fault that he doesn’t appreciate you for the beauty you are, inside out.

Another reason he might say “you deserve better” could be because he might think he’s too messed up to be in a relationship with you and knows that he’ll mess everything up. All in all, he is simply trying to warn you in a subtle manner.

How simple can it get? “you deserve better” could be a nice way of saying “hey, you’re pretty, but you’re not for me – don’t waste your time”. It could mean that he’s simply not into you. Even if he wants a girlfriend, chances are, you might just not be his type. He doesn’t like you like that and is trying to inform you subtly, hoping you’ll take the hint.

Your reaction to him saying “you deserve better” is extremely important, since it could affect your self-esteem and perception regarding relationships:         

The least you can do is believe in him and accept the fact that it simply wasn’t meant to be. You see, if a man tells you that you deserve better, it could hint towards the fact that he knows he might not be able to give you what you’re looking for. Having said that, it’ll be wise to walk away than dwell on territory that wasn’t yours, to begin with.

If a man isn’t confident enough to avail of the opportunity of dating you, it’ll be in your best interest to simply accept the fact that he might not be good for you and walk away. You see, perhaps he already has unresolved issues in his life and doesn’t want to trap you in a relationship he knows he won’t be able to manage.

Giving no reaction is a reaction itself. Instead of confronting him and asking him why he chose to said what he said, simply accept the easy out and move on with your life. If he didn’t choose to avail the opportunity to be in a relationship with you, it’s his loss.

Ask yourself: what would you even do if you stayed? If a man is insecure, or too busy, or has unresolved personal issues, you simply would be putting excess weight on his shoulders, all-the-while making your own life miserable for yourself – walking away is the best and the only option you should consider.

In conclusion, it can be said that not every relationship is meant to happen, and reality sucks but acceptance is what truly helps us evolve and become better human beings. If someone doesn’t like you or doesn’t have the time to invest upon you, accept that it simply wasn’t meant to be and that you do, in fact, deserve better!