Put A Ring On Me: How Do I Get My Man To Propose Now?

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Things have changed in this regard, right. Now couples are getting married later in life. In the 70s'  for example, men were (on average) 23 when they got married and women were 20. Nowadays, both wait until they're almost in their 30 to tie the knot. While it's a fact that couples now are older when they decide to get married, it's also a fact that they choose to live together for years before "putting a ring on it".

One of the reasons why people delay marriage is because the cultural view of marriage has changed over the years. Before it was seen as the next step, it was more based on co-reliance and obligation. Now couples spend more time enjoying the relationship, getting to know each other while working on achieving their personal goals. According to some data, most couples in the US date for 2 or more years before getting engaged. 

However, just because there's data saying that there's an average of 2 to 5 years before he pops the questions, doesn't mean that your relationship has to follow through. There's no "one answer fits all" in this case. Each relationship is different and has its own rhythm. There's no definition of what's normal when it comes to how long should couples date before getting engaged. The answers can vary from 2 years to 4 days. Don't let the opinions of everyone around you influence your decision because there's no magic formula. Only you can know when you're both ready to take the next step. In some cases, he'll need a little subtle push though. 

There are many things to consider before asking that life-changing question: Will you marry me? You've long to hear it and it seems that he's ready to ask it. However, there are important things that are swimming in his head that he's pondering about before he gets to the actual proposal. He (and you) need to be absolutely certain about this decision, so (in case you're wondering), here are some of the things people consider before proposing. 

Spontaneous proposals are so romantic, right? Just like in the movies... well sure they can be but they might not be what you both need. Sure you're in love and can't wait to be hitched but are you 100% you're both on the same page? Do you want the same things for your future together? That sometimes is not considered in a spontaneous proposal. So before popping the question, make sure you have the talk about the future, what are your hopes and wishes as individuals and as a couple. Do you want kids? How many? How long are you going to wait to have them? Be sure to have solid answers for those questions and most of all, be sure that you both have the same or similar answers. 

Specifically the parents. This may sound old fashion but people should consider doing it before proposing they know you love her daughter so telling them you want to spend the rest of your life with her, or better yet. asking for her hand in marriage will get you some major points. You can even ask them to be part of the event. 

When people know it's time to pop the question, they immediately think ring. Maybe they have been saving for it? If you, as a couple have been discussing the idea of getting married, the proposal shouldn't come as a big surprise, but the ring should, right? So men should consider finding the right ring for their ladies and since that's not an easy task, they could ask for help from a friend or a relative to assist them in finding the ring that's going to seal the deal. 

The right time to propose? There is no hard and fast rule as to when a guy has to propose. The truth is that it isn't easy to know the right time. The simple answer to this question would be "you know when it's time"... we know, not helpful. Don't think of it in terms of time or following what society dictates. To help you with lowering down the anxiety levels of knowing if, it's the right time to pop the question, you'll be happy to know that there are some signs that can help you know if you're ready to pop the question. Let's get to them. 

An important distinction, you're not just thinking about you when someone asks "how you are", you're including her in your answer. You're now talking about "us" and "we" in general conversations. This talking about "us" is you expanding your thinking beyond you, which is a great sign that you're ready to pop the question.  

This goes beyond knowing about hobbies and favorite foods, or about her allergies and dislikes. The "really know" each other goes deeper. Do you understand each other as individuals? Does she make you feel at home and vice-versa? Do you support each other emotionally, especially when things go south? Do you respect each other's choices and careers? Do you feel in sync with each other? Do you feel secure in each other's arms? If the answers to these questions are yes, then you're ready. 

At the beginning of any relationship, the need to impress is a necessary evil. From the way you dress to the way you talk, to how you can do no bad. However, if you're in a relationship both have to acknowledge that nobody is perfect, that we all have flaws and imperfections. If you're comfortable being who you really are with her and she with you, then get ready to propose. 

Trust takes time to build in a relationship. This comes from having lots of heart-to-heart conversations and being vulnerable. If you trust each other completely, then your relationship is solid and you're ready to take the next step. 

If you're still thinking in terms of "What's mine is mine", you're definitely not ready to get married. Married couples share financial responsibilities. If you have figure out the math and are on the same page regarding money and finances, then that's a sign you're ready.

It seems that he's ready to propose but something is holding him back... and you can't wait to hear THE question. What can you do? Sometimes the direct approach is not the best idea. Think of him as a scared deer, if you make any sudden moves, you're going to scare him away. So your best bet is to drop some subtle hints here and there to give him that much-needed push. Here are some ideas of what you can do.

One subtle way to get him to propose is to talk about the future together. You can have a serious conversation about how you'll handle tough times, your living arrangements, kids, milestones as a couple. This gives him a visual of the future as a married couple.

Gauge his mood, if he's in a good one deliver him the news about your friend and gush about it. You'll have social media (FB, IG) to help him show how "lucky" she is to take that step.

Sometimes what keeps him from proposing is fear. He is scared that your marriage could fail because that's the only thing he knows. So, talk to him about married couples you admire because they have had successful marriages. You can even suggest you both spend time with them. 

Other times the best approach is going ahead and telling him directly that you want him to propose. It can be a bold move but it may get you the result you want. Him on one knee asking you to be his wife. How can you tell him to propose without overdoing it?

Sit him down and just be honest with him. Tell him that you expect more from the relationship, that you want to spend your life with him. Talk about what marriage means to you and that you think you two have a pretty good chance of making it.

This is the time to show him your Wedding Pinterest boards and tell him about your dream wedding. Just find a way to make it in a cool way, don't overwhelm him. 

You've been talking about getting married someday so you're both on the same page but he's kind of dragging it. Tell him that you're Ok if it doesn't happen this year but that you expect a proposal next year. 

There are things you need to avoid when trying to get your man to propose. If you have already failed in your attempt don't get discouraged, be patient, and avoid the following. 

If he's not ready and you keep talking about marriage, he'll feel the pressure and it may turn him in the opposite direction. Stop talking about it for a while, and maybe wait for him to bring it up.

Just the opposite, tell them to stop talking about it or asking him when he's finally going to propose. He'll feel the pressure and he'll delay the proposal or even forget about it. Ask them to chill because all the talk about marriage is not helping you.

Getting married is a big step and you both need to be ready and on the same page for it to work. If you're both certain that's the next step in your relationship but he still hasn't popped the question... try some of the suggestions above and see how things turn out. We're sure there's going to be a proposal really soon so, Congratulations!