He Came!: What Does Coming Feel Like For Him And Her?

Every woman has at some point in her wondered what the male orgasm feels like, be it out of curiosity or in a bid to understand our partners better, this question has been on women's minds. If you ask different men this question, chances are they’ll most likely give you different answers, so we can already establish that though the process is biologically identical for all guys, the experience and feeling varies from one person to the next.

First of all, ejaculation is a man’s physical manifestation of reaching the peak of sexual pleasure, during an orgasm,  the body contracts and releases a discharge of accumulated erotic tension. Endorphins also are known as ‘’happy’’ hormones are released into the bloodstream and these chemicals make you feel warm, happy, flushed, or sleepy.

Science, psychologists, and neurologists all explain what happens and how the body reacts when it reaches that place of absolute bliss but how does it really feel for both men and women? Well, let’s hear what people have to say as well as some of the common misconceptions society has with regards to ejaculation and orgasm.

• It is generally believed that from the male perspective, orgasms are the ultimate goal and the peak of satisfaction during every sexual experience. But that’s not true, research shows that sometimes the most satisfying feeling during sex is a sense of connection between both partners. 

• Another misconception is that penile-vaginal stimulation is the most likely way for both men and women to achieve an orgasm. That’s erroneous because there are certain orgasms that do not have anything to do with the genitals at all, nor are they associated with sexual desires, for example, exercise-induced orgasm.

• There’s also a notion that men easily have an orgasm and often have premature ejaculation while women find it hard to orgasm. But the truth is much more complex than that, some men take longer to climax and some women are quick at it and get there frequently than others.

The high importance that society places on sex, combined with our incomplete knowledge of the orgasm, has led to a number of common misconceptions on the feeling of a man ejaculating inside his partner, here are some of them:

• It is commonly believed that if a man cums inside of you there’s always a huge explosion, you feel a big splash but that's not necessarily true, sometimes you don’t feel anything at all and that’s perfectly normal.

• Another common belief is that pulling out seconds before ejaculation is a form of birth control. This is a risky belief because it has been proven that pre-ejaculation fluids can carry particles of sperm that can get a woman pregnant.

• It is often believed that if a man doesn’t ejaculate, he hasn’t derived any pleasure or that ejaculation is equal to orgasm. This is not always the case as there’s something known as non-ejaculatory orgasm.

• Men must ejaculate to be satisfied or to experience sexual pleasure. This is a very common belief, but ask any man who has learned to separate orgasm from ejaculation and he will tell you there are many benefits to non-ejaculatory orgasm. For many men orgasm without ejaculation enables a man to be multi-orgasmic, to maintain consistent sexual energy, desire, and confidence. Once men learn to orgasm without ejaculation they rarely want to go back to ejaculating every time.

Though orgasms are biologically and neurologically identical, the experience is completely unique from one person to the next. Let’s hear what a handful of guys were able to tell Cosmopolitan magazine regarding the feeling of having an orgasm.

"I find it hard to describe in words other than 'wonderful,' which doesn't really help you at all. It is a sensation felt throughout my body that rapidly spreads out from my [body part] and just floods my body with a feeling I cannot compare to anything else I've ever felt. It is definitely unique and superb."
— Anonymous

"Imagine a tube of toothpaste that's almost empty and someone rolls it up and squeezes it as hard as they can and the toothpaste shoots out everywhere. Except the toothpaste is coming out of the most sensitive part of your body and it feels awesome."
— Ryan, 25 

"Well, right before, it feels like your whole body is going to fold in half, and then, all of a sudden, there's this massive release. It makes you want to scream and these waves of the awesome power of release and relaxation waves come from your middle to all parts of your body, and you can't breathe and you can stop panting, and then your body kind of relaxes."
— Tom

‘’It feels different depending on what it’s inside and how much buildup there is. Orgasming in something warm and wet (like a mouth or vagina) feels like arriving home after a long trip and collapsing into my bed–intensely relieving, pleasurable, and a little tiring but in a good way. Orgasming in my hand with little foreplay and no lube feels satisfying, but not particularly pleasurable, as the end of a workday or Netflix show. The constants: the spasming, the mess, and the immediate search for tissues.”
 — Matthew, 28 

"It's like your penis takes over your brain for a few seconds. Like everything goes numb, except for this amazing sensation in your penis. You can't focus or feel anything else. You might as well not even exist. You're just this good feeling, and then it goes back to normal and you're like, 'Dammit.'" 
— Shawn, 22 

It has been universally accepted by those on the receiving end that when a man cums inside of you, it stirs up feelings of warmth and happiness. Whether these sensations are physical or purely mental is still to be determined. You feel happy because you have contributed to his happiness, the foreplay, the energy, the suspense, the heavy breathing, the rhythm, and then everything seems to lose focus than the big explosion. When he finally ejaculates, you can sometimes feel it shooting inside you especially if it’s a big one. It all comes with a surge of inexplicable happiness, calm, and warmth.

Sex without a condom can feel quite sticky especially if you are not used to it. Though we do not pay much attention to this aspect, using a condom actually makes ejaculation less messy. When you spill cum in your partner it might feel runny and sticky, everything becomes wet, slippery, and messy but hey! That’s half the fun right? That feeling of being wet and runny lingers for a while after you’re done but anyway a little mess here and there could actually be very sexy and more so when you and your partner are in love.

Having a man nut inside of you is quite intense, it comes with a strange feeling of satisfaction for a job well done as well as a kind of sense of empowerment. This might sound strange but lots of women say when their man ejaculates inside of them, they feel strong, as it is often said there’s strength in giving. To feel you have been able to give your man great pleasure and have seen him in one of his most vulnerable moments is nothing else if not empowering. So, lie back, relax, and enjoy your superpowers in action.

In this day and age when there’s a lot to be concerned about in a relationship, from unwanted pregnancy to sexually transmitted diseases and polygamy, allowing a man to ejaculate in you and a man choosing to spill his seed inside a woman without any barrier is a sign of trust. It shows you both are close enough to set aside all your fears and the many things that could go wrong from going bare.

After all most men don’t ejaculate in every woman and women don’t usually allow any man to ejaculate in them. This creates a bond between you and your partner and shows a level of commitment that can only bring you closer. 

Despite all the talk of explosions, fireworks, contractions, a woman sometimes doesn't feel anything in particular when a man cums into her. In cases like this, the only tell signs the guy is having an orgasm is his body language, the sound he makes, how he gasps or breathes.

The woman might not have any physical response, she might not notice anything other than her partner’s release. This is quite common, you might not have the fireworks moment you’re expecting when your partner ejaculates in you but that doesn’t make the moment less special. The experience is still magical whether you feel it in you or not.

Orgasms and ejaculation have taken a life of their own in our society today, they have been studied, examined, analyzed, and dissected over centuries and while a lot has been revealed over the years there’s still a whole lot more to be uncovered. As sexual culture evolves and people talk about their experiences in the open, it’s easier to know what others feel. 

As magical as it is and as tempting as it sounds we do not recommend you do anything around trying to get guys to cum inside of you. If you feel it’s something you’ll like to experience with your partner, make sure you talk about it first. The two of you should decide if you’re both ready to ditch out condoms and go bare, the possibility of getting pregnant, STDs, monogamy, birth control, and everything else that affects this decision. Once you have all that covered, go for it and enjoy the experience to the fullest.