Frankly, as a lady on this side of the Sahara, I have to admit that I learned about the term ‘side chick’ much later in life. I find the concept to be intriguing. Now, before the moral police start pointing fingers, let me explain myself. I might even end up warming your heart towards this concept of a side chick. She is not a home wrecker! No, not even a mistress but yeah she is the side piece. Before I proceed, let me make one thing clear: this article is penned by a proud side chick, who doesn’t feel the need to soothe her ego by going with what society regards as conventional. Being in my early twenties, I have very few achievements in my miserable life. Yes, it's miserable, but my Instagram account definitely tells a different story. Hence I have to identify and utilize every avenue in order to achieve my dreams. Of course, finding that perfect man is one of them. As a matter of fact, most women my age have the same priorities. In fact, most women I've talked to openly admit - some even to their guys - they definitely don’t have any problems if their guys or fiancés are sleeping around, as long as they are the number one woman at the end of the day. You know, as a side chick, it means that you are offering something that the number one woman is not. Face it, even the most conservative of us have to admit that’s a very high form of flattery. There are also chances that you can start out as a side chick and end up as the main chick as long as you stick to the rules. However, being a side chick is not easy. You have to juggle the innocently clueless wife or girlfriend, the scandals and drama that comes with being a side chick, and all the heartache from the love triangle. However, if you are good at it, then it’s one of the most amazing experiences. Compiled here are some rules that side chicks should follow to the letter, to avoid the drama that comes with being the number two and to flourish at the same time.
Rule 1: learn to keep the secret.
Rule numero uno in the game of side chicks is learning to keep a secret. You really don't need to tell your best friend or family about your clandestine partner. Remember, you are not the main chick. You are a secret and so is your relationship. Hence you should divulge nothing about the relationship, not even signs that the relationship is existing. If you fail to observe this rule as a side chick then your steamy days as a side piece are coming to an end. It's all about learning to stick to your lane so as to make sure your hot secretive romance will last longer. Even when you find yourself in a situation that seems to be forcing you to admit being the side chick, please don't give in! Let your guy be the one to do it. You also need to keep the relationship off of social media. As much as you may want to use your social media pages to offer precautionary statements to young naive girls or make testimonies of how things are really working out for you, don't do it. We really don't need to know that you were taken to Maldives by that dude we all know is married to so and so.
Rule 2: avoid public displays of affection.
Going public with him is also off the table; your relationship can only survive in secret. Let's face it, going out in public with another woman's man can quickly turn messy or even dangerous! Therefore, don't drop signs of the existence of your relationship to the general public. If you really can't keep a secret then pack up - your days as a side chick are over. Keeping the situation a secret also forms the groundwork for rules three and four.
Rule 3: stick to the relationship goals.
Men can be correctly referred to as private creatures, even when they are in a relationship with their soulmates. They prefer keeping their private lives separate from their public lives. Therefore as a side chick don't even dream of him allowing you to use his photo as your WhatsApp profile photo or a selfie of you two. As a side chick learn to respect this.
Rule 4: flee drama like the plague
Since the inception of this phenomenon, side chicks have become synonymous to drama and problems. Play smart, my sister. Don't be like the short term side chicks who always give drama room in their relationship and never follow this crucial rule. If you are really a drama queen, please enjoy it with your friends only. Remember, you are probably the guy's way out from his uncomfortable relationship. So don't make this one as dramatic as well. If you don't stick to this rule effectively then it's guaranteed that the guy will go for another side chick. Ensure that you are always the safe haven where nothing goes wrong. The side chick is always in a relationship that can be quickly vanquished by drama; the ground that these kinds of relationships are built on are normally shaky and unstable. To avoid problems, the side chick has to observe rule number one - keeping secrets. You have to be careful not to leave traces, especially where the main chick can easily uncover them. So thou shall not leave your scent, bra, or anything that can cast suspicion on the guy - otherwise, you will be courting drama which is not good for your role as the side chick. Know your place as a side chick and be a stickler to this rule to avoid embarrassment and ugly confrontations.
Rule 5: learn to flourish without the endearments.
If given the opportunity most men would rather call you babe or dear (without meaning it of course). This would happen in a normal relationship but not the one you are in. Therefore as the side chick learn to live without the endearments. This will greatly relieve the tension of expecting him to call you honey bun or sweetie. You really don't need it anyway.
Rule 6: don't ask him for money
This seems ironic but yeah, you read it right, don't ask him for money! It's pretty cheap when you make your relationship all about sex and money. You can apply all forms of tactics to get his money but never ever ask for his money directly. In the world of relationships between a man and woman (here I am talking about relationships that are not platonic) there are various levels of relationships. At the very top we have marriage (however this is highly debatable), followed by something like the normal boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, and at the very bottom we have the relationship between a hooker and a client. We all know how this last one operates: the client offers money to the hooker in exchange for sex. So here is my point: if you make your side chick relationship with your guys all about money in exchange for sex then you are no different from a hooker. If you make it all about money, trust me, lady, you will end up feeling like a cheap prostitute on a dingy street corner. Make the relationship with your guys full of fantasy and not littered with the tenets of the quid pro quo principle - if you really feel the principle should be applied in your relationship then don't make it so obvious. Don't allow your relationship to be confused with that of hooker and client. However, as a side chick, you deserve some fun! Make sure he spends on you, and employ all the tricks in the book to ensure this is achieved. Don't make your relationship all about money, but neither should it be a means for you to be emotionally attached.
Rule 7: thou shall not steal.
Don't use the previous rule to create a loophole. Whatever you do, don't rob the guy. This might sound like something straight from the ten commandments but it's very crucial. You really don't need to end up behind bars, that's not what being a side chick is about.
Rule 8: as the side chick never fall
This rule is often mentioned, but it bears repeating. Never ever get emotionally attached to the guy. Get this straight. This is not a client-hooker relationship, but neither is it the conventional boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. If you fall for him or you are showing signs of falling for him, then as early as now you have failed as a side chick if you disregard this powerful rule. Developing feelings will only complicate the relationship, which is initially based on a no strings attached understanding. If you defy this rule, then brace yourself for the complications that you will encounter when you separate. It seems like the easiest trick in the book of side chick rules but it's actually the hardest one to follow. Despite the strong feelings that you might start to develop towards the guy, please don't fall for him! I don't care if you have a perfect reason for it or ambitions to become the main chick, falling in love is not for you in this kind of relationship. Your arrangement is strictly a sexual one, thus emotional attachments don't have any room here. The guy will also be easily turned off if he sees signs of emotional attachment. The relationship will quickly transform into something toxic if this rule is ignored.
Rule 9: don't end up pregnant
Let me begin by congratulating you for sticking to the previous rule. Now welcome to the next rule - thou shall not end up pregnant from your little arrangement. Your guy is not interested in bringing a child into your relationship. This is why you are still the side chick and there is the main chick. He has not put a ring on it for a reason. Before you even consider getting pregnant, ask yourself the following questions. What makes you think he will not move on to the next side chick when you are heavily pregnant with his baby? Are you sure he is ready for such a serious relationship, with the main chick still in the picture? If you can't provide substantial answers then, my sweet sister, just avoid the complication. The no strings attached arrangement that you have with the guy is probably the main reason that the relationship is existing in the first place. The same relationship can easily be extinguished by any slight problems, such as a baby. Don't include babies in your fantasies, at least not now. However, you can include them when/if the situation changes.
Rule 10: know the risks of being the side chick
This rule is the number one rule to a lot of side chicks. Generally, in every move that you make, it's always advisable to be fully aware of the risks that you are getting yourself into, not only as a side chick. Hence this is more like a general life rule. However, the risks in this game are honestly numerous, therefore you should always be very smart to survive as a side chick. First of all, you need to get it in your pretty head that when you are a side chick you are involved with a guy who has chosen another woman as his main chick. Your engagement with the guy could very well be infiltrating another relationship or even a family. Therefore you should always have a well-thought-out escape plan in case your illicit relationship is uncovered. Let's face it, society regards you as a roach, a home wrecker who should always be exterminated, thus you must never ever let your guard down. It's also quite frustrating to be in a relationship with a man you know for sure cheats and doesn't care about you at all. This means that he can easily move on to another side chick without even blinking.
Rule 11: The main chick is never your concern as the side chick
This is another rule that is usually overlooked, However, it has immense power in this game. As a side chick, you should never make the main chick your business or concern. Never pester your man about the main chick. Don't even dare to drop her name in your conversations. The worst mistake you can make as a side chick is if you make the main chick your concern, attempt to compare yourself to the main chick, or show signs of obsession over the main chick. This will easily repel your guy, since he doesn't want to think about the main chick when he's with you. Being fully aware of your place in the man's life, you should instead enjoy the few stolen moments that you two enjoy. You are in a world of fantasy, therefore, every moment should count. If you follow the above rules to the letter then you will surely enjoy your time as a side chick.
Rule 12: don't stalk him.
Learn to stick to this rule and simply enjoy your time together with your man. You might be tempted to stalk your man, his girlfriend or wife but don't try it, since it's pointless. I mean for what purpose would it be? Unless you are now falling for him, which is a failure on your part as a side chick and a transgression to one of the previous rules.
Rule 13: always anticipate frequent changes of plans.
Don't end up edgy when that dinner does not happen as you had agreed. After all, you are the number two. You are a side chick, a secret. Therefore you should never get grumpy when the guy can't spend a weekend afternoon with you. After all, it's a no strings attached relationship.
Rule 14: please shelve your main chick ambitions.
You are the side chick. You don't have any emotional attachment to the guy and frankly, you should be loving where the relationship is. Just live in the present. You really don't need to scare your man with the never-ending questions of where the relationship is headed.
Rule 15: there are really no guarantees.
You really should let this one sink in before you engage in these kinds of relationships. There is no guarantee you are going to be the main chick in the near future, and there is no guarantee he won't cheat on you with another side chick. You are simply in the relationship for fun and not to get emotionally attached or find your future hubby. Just relax and go with it.