Friends with benefits
Just out of an emotionally drained relationship, so not interested in taking the plunge once again right away? It’s okay, we are human and at times when you are in a demanding relationship, you almost start feeling claustrophobic. It is the time that you want to break free. Now that you have finally waved goodbye to a stale relationship, it is time to enjoy your single status. It’s time to welcome friend with benefits. Yes, you got it right. As human beings, we all have some need and when we can get it without having any strings attached to it, then why not.
Boundaries set for friends with benefits
There are certain rules for having friends with benefits. If you don’t want to get into any kind of complications, then it is better that you set specific boundaries at the very onset. Playing the game by the rules would double the fun and it would also help you get over your ex pretty quickly. Honesty is one of the prominent and much-required rules of the game. This is the best arrangement you can get for yourself when you are not interested in any kind of emotional attachment. But, all said and done it is important that you play the game by the rules, else it might get complicated. You should know that you are not there to satiate your emotional needs, so once you are done just get the hell out of there.
30 rules for friends with benefits and kissing them
Yes, there are rules for everything that you do. You cannot kiss in a certain manner, spend time or entertain the curiosity of your friends with benefits. On a lighter note, it should be strictly professional! You know what; the best thing about friends with benefits is that you don’t have to hunt someone down every time. You already have someone in your life, who is just a call away. If he is happy with the arrangement, then you won’t have to freak out worrying about sexually transmitted diseases too. That’s the icing on the cake, right? If you feel that it is too good to be true, then you are in for a treat. It can be the truth of your life if you abide by these rules. So, here we go with our set of rules for maintaining friends with benefits-
1. Don’t fall for your friends with benefits
Don’t complicate the matter by falling in love with your friends with benefits. Keep it simple. At times, it is easy to fall in love with your friends with benefits, but it is better not tread that path. This is the first and foremost rule of having friends with benefits. You just cannot fall in love with them come what may.
2. Perfect demarcation
Just remember that your friends with benefits are not your partner, so don’t make the mistake of expecting something from him. You can’t expect him to be available for you all the time. He is not there to help you out of any emotional crisis. Remind yourself of the rules and boundaries that you have set for this kind of arrangement. He is not there to console you when you are thinking of your ex.
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3. Both of you are free to lead the life you want
There is no commitment from either side. So, both of you are free to enjoy your life the way you want. If you want to spend some time with your ex, you can do that. If he wants to go out on a date with a hottie, then he is free to do that. Always remember that both of you are not bound by anything. He can have multiple partners, so it is always better to play safe to stay away from any kind of medical complications.
4. Going out on date is acceptable
If you are having friends with benefit, then it doesn’t mean you cannot go out on a date with some other friend. The boundaries are already set by you where you can enjoy an uncomplicated, simple and pure sex with your friends with benefits.
5. Strict rules for kissing on forehead
Forehead kisses are the best when it is coming from your boyfriend or husband or you are giving it to your partner. But, with friends with benefits, it’s a strict no-no affair. Forehead kisses are for people who are connected emotionally and not for someone with whom the arrangement is completely different.
6. Good morning kiss is a thing to avoid
You should not stay back at night, first of all, if you have already committed that mistake, then stay away from kissing your friends with benefits in the morning to wake him up. When you are kissing him passionately while making out at night it is acceptable, but kissing in the morning is an emotional thing and is strictly prohibited in this kind of arrangement.
7. Stay away from goodbye kissing too
Now, what’s wrong with a goodbye kiss! You must be thinking to yourself that before waving goodbye there is no harm in kissing your friends with benefits. Yes, there is a problem. There are certain rules and boundaries that are already drawn at the beginning of the relationship. To abide by those rules and respect those boundaries you must stay away from kissing in general. He is not your boyfriend that you will kiss goodbye.
8. Avoid kissing in general
Do you remember how you used to stare into the eyes of your ex and completely forget all your misery? Generally, a kiss is inevitable in this situation if you were still in love with your ex, but now you are not. Your friends with benefits must know their boundaries and abide by the rules of the game. You should not encourage casual kiss or cuddle with your friends with benefits.
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9. Dates are not allowed with friends with benefits
It is better to avoid a cozy dinner date where you can cuddle up with him. If you do not avoid these kinds of things, then there are chances that you might fall in love with your friends with benefits.
10. Don’t spend the whole night with friends
Sleeping through the night is a thing that should be restricted to your partner. Friends with benefits should be kept away from that. After you are done with sex, there is no need to stay over and cuddle him up.
11. Disclosing everything can ruin the arrangement
When either of you is disclosing every minute details to the other, then it is a sign that you are getting too close to be comfortable. Knowing each other personally can lead to emotional attachment and that is exactly what you don’t want.
12. Bombardment of questions
You know what you want from your friends with benefits, so stick to the basic. Don’t bombard him with silly questions and if he is doing that, then ask him to stop being inquisitive about your life. You both know why you are together, right?
13. Emotional detachment required
Want to fall in love, then look for someone with whom you want to share your day and night. Friends with benefits are definitely not the right kind to cuddle up. Don’t get mixed up in your head. Have a clear picture in mind.
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14. Don’t spread the word, finger on your lips!
Did you fall in love? No, then why paint the town red with tales of last night and how good he was on the bed. If you loved it when he bit your lips, it’s absolutely fine. But you have lipstick available or for that matter gloss for your lips. Bring it on; there is no need to let the world gaze at your hickey. It’s better if you keep the arrangement under wraps.
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15. Try sticking with one
It’s better that you have the arrangement with only one, in case you are enjoying your time with more than one, then the news will eventually come out in the broad daylight and you will find yourself in a big mess. If at all you want to make out with two three guys, then don’t choose the guys from the same group.
16. Infatuation is entertained
As soon as you enter this arrangement, keep your mind distracted from your friends with benefits, else you might fall in love with him. Mingle with interesting guys, so that you don’t keep thinking about your friends with benefits’ lips.
17. Rules for good friends
The basic rules of having friends with benefits are that you cannot enjoy this arrangement with your good friend. Remember, even if you are attracted towards him sexually; don’t indulge in any kind of sex. Otherwise, down the line, you both will regret the decision and end up losing best friends for life.
18. Stray apart
There is no need to stick with each other for life-long. Stray away, before things get messy or one of you starts having a serious relationship with a third person.
19. Have an illusion
When you are having a good time between the sheets, then your heart will start convincing you that he can step into the shoes of a perfect boyfriend. But, don’t listen to your heart this time around. It is talking bullshit. In order to stay away from falling into the trap, you should make your mind believe that your friend with benefits is actually dating someone else even when he is not.
20. Don’t be hasty
Sometimes in this arrangement, you might find yourself in a position where your friends with benefits are actually walking away forever. If either of you have committed a blunder or made some wrong decisions, then even this relationship might have a great fall.
21. Keep it short
Don’t stay with one friend with benefits all throughout. Things start getting complicated when you are with the same guy for quite a long time. Change your friends with benefits, the very moment you feel that it might take a wrong turn.
22. No Need of knight in shining armor
Yes, all love to be taken care of or feel protected around a guy, but hey you have set of friends who serve that purpose quite effectively, right? So, don’t encourage this kind of a behavior as it enhances the chances of getting involved emotionally.
23. Don’t give false hope
You can get drunk and enjoy the night with your friends with benefits, but don’t give him any hopes of a stable relationship. It’s an arrangement, remember? If your friends with benefits promise you of a great future together, then don’t take it seriously.
24. Jealous? Don’t be!
If your friends with benefits are hanging out with other girls and are enjoying their life, you shouldn’t be bothered at all. Instead, encourage these kinds of activities, so that you don’t get any wrong ideas in your mind.
25. No favorites
You cannot have favorites if you are going out with multiple friends with benefits. Rules suggest that you are not allowed to have favorites. Favorites mean you are looking at that person differently and slowly slipping into a relationship with him. So, no favorites!
26. Leave him alone
He is not your boyfriend, so why would you call him every time you need to talk to someone? Give him some space. One of the rules states that you cannot call him at any time of the day just for chit-chat.
27. Kissing a good friend?
Accidentally kissing a good friend is different, but if you feel like kissing a good friend and making him your friend with benefits. Then it is against the rules. You will end up losing your good friend, mind it!
28. Brief messages
Can’t send him texts expressing how you felt last night. No, it is against the rules. If at all you have to text, then it should be about the time and date you want him to come over. Not more than that, else there are chances of it ruining your life later when you drift apart.
29. Can you stop asking so many questions?
What’s the need of asking so many questions? Why do you want to know more about his personal life or how he feels for you? It should not matter to you if he finds you attractive or not because you both have come together for enjoying an arrangement. Once it is accomplished, both heads towards their own path.
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30. No night out should be welcomed
You can spend few hours at night enjoying each other in between the sheets, but you cannot spend the full night with him. He is not your boyfriend. So, once he is done just ask him to leave. Don’t ask him to stay over or don’t encourage the idea of hanging out with him after having sex.
In every relationship, there are some rules and boundaries that the two people who are in that relationship must adhere to. Having friends with benefits is no exception. If you don’t play this game by the rule-book, then you be prepared to have a messed up life.