Infatuation Vs True Love: Learning The Differences

Are you head over heels for someone? How can you affirm your feelings? Here are the differences between infatuation and true love!

By Neko Yama
Infatuation Vs True Love: Learning The Differences

Love Vs. Infatuation: Their Difference

Love or infatuation, that's the question. #lovevsinfatuation 💕✨ #GN

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“Infatuation is when you find somebody absolutely perfect. Love is when you realize they aren’t perfect and it doesn’t matter” — Anonymous

Many people have met their soulmates in so many different ways. Some have successful relationships because of the famous phrase, "love at first sight"; while others waited for long periods of time, going through heartbreaks, and crying buckets of tears before finally settling down. Love is such a weird game, is it not? There are a lot of different rules for every different participant. But, whatever rules are set for you, the game has only one prize if you win—happiness! However, at the starting point of this game, there is never a definite way to affirm our feelings for the people we admire. We tend to ask ourselves, "God, is he/she the one? Is this it?" Are your feelings for real or not? Love has its different stages. It is not a question of your feelings being real or not, but rather, on what stage your current emotion is at. You probably have your own definition of love but one can assure you, it takes time. Also, know that these stages are all associated with love. However, there is always a chance that somewhere in these stages, the feelings might fail. The specific question would be, "is it infatuation or love?". Both are closely similar. It is hard to identify their differences when you are in the situation of being head over heels for someone. A lot of gestures and behaviors one experiences are present whether you are just infatuated, or you are totally in love. But, just to have an idea, let us compare their slight differences—infatuation vs. true love. Your eyes turn heart-shaped whenever you see him/her. The rest of the world suddenly disappears because, in your eyes, he/she is the only thing that is perfect. You don't know anything about him/her other than how he/she looks physically, but your instincts tell you that you accept this person and you are still sexually attracted. You get lost in your fantasies, while you are slowly drifting away from the reality. This is infatuation—it gets you immediately excited while not completely knowing the reason why. You see him/her, and your eyes turned heart-shaped. However, you are still aware that other things exist around you. You know his/her imperfections, but it does not matter because his/her flaws are what makes him/her perfect. His/her presence is a comfort rather than an anxiety, and you forget your negative feelings for a while. This is love—you can see the balance between the good and the bad, but you adore them. The reality collides with your fantasies, not leaving one behind. To find out more, keep reading these differences below between infatuation and true love.

Infatuation is Quick, Love is Slow


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All of us have probably gone through "love at first sight." It is a sudden moment when someone catches your attention where you also suddenly do not want to lose sight of him/her because you think that this person is the true definition of perfection. It is a feeling where you get passionately attracted even though you have never seen the person before. And just moments after, you will find yourself telling everybody that you are now officially in love. That is pretty quick, isn't it? No matter how Disney movies show us about princesses and princes having to get married to each other just after a few meetings, this could not be called love. You have to accept that you could not be in love with someone you've just seen physically. You cannot tell your friends that you are in love with his/her eyes, you are in love with his lips, or you are in love with their abs—there is no such thing. What you're feeling is infatuation, and that's what it is all about—sudden and quick! Now, you might reason that you met your husband of five years through love at first sight, so it's not entirely impossible to end up with the person you once know nothing about. That is true too! If you think about it, all the people that are now an essential part of our life have been complete strangers before, right? But, you have to admit that you've gone through a long process of getting to know your partner better. You've had quarrels, you've had misunderstandings, you've gone through a stage where both of you find it difficult to accept each other's personality, but in the long run, you succeeded. That is the time that you can call it love. Fortunately, you are the lucky ones where feelings of infatuation turned into true love through a long, slow process.

Infatuation is Superficial, Love is Deeper

Another way to confirm if what you're feeling is infatuation or love is when you are asked questions such as, "Do you know something about his/her past?" "Do you know that he doesn't like these things?" "What do you know about him?" and you find yourself not knowing what to answer, what you feel might just be infatuation. You feelings only revolve around the surface, and your attraction is only based on how he looks. However, infatuation turns into true love when you've finally made yourself aware of his flaws and imperfections, but you still feel that you and this person are deeply connected. It turns into true love when you know him/her inside and out, and you know that you still accept them. True love is personal, while infatuation is mostly sexual. This difference is significant if you want to affirm your feelings. Because you both may get intimate physically, you may be going to bed together and being romantic with each other. But if you know nothing about your darling and suddenly find out one day about unthinkable matters he/she's involved in, it might be too late to run for your life.

Intense Infatuation Vs. Comforting Love

When you are feeling anxious, how does your body usually reacts? You get shivers, your head is spinning, you breathe uncontrollably, you fidget a lot, you sweat buckets, and other people even get nauseous. This is a close comparison of how you respond whenever you see your prince charming/princess if the feeling is only infatuation—anxiety. However, it is a bit of a positive anxiety because you get excited and all smiley, nonetheless it's not a pleasant feeling, it's intense. It's opposite to love which gives you a calming and comforting sensation whenever you see the love of your life. Of course, it still excites you, but it is an excitement that is pleasurable and would not make your body tired. Think about winter and summer, the former being infatuation and the latter being love—you love both seasons, but during the winter, your body shivers out of your control while during the summer, you're just lying peacefully under the sun. Infatuation will make you lose concentration on other things around you while love lets you act normal even when you're excited. However, when it's true love vs. infatuation, you can always be yourself a hundred percent. You won't lose control in your actions, and you would not abandon priorities because you know how to balance your emotion. You are still aware that the world doesn't revolve around your darling. It is true love when you are confident that your significant other can accept you for who you are.

Infatuation Makes You Weird, Love Makes You Yourself

This difference is almost feeling the same as anxious. Can you ever remember a moment in your life where you almost wreaked havoc because of your intense admiration for your "love of your life"? Perhaps you're at a bar, trying to stalk him/her nonchalantly, and you run into a waiter who is carrying a tray of drinks. Or, your friends were already raising their eyebrows at you because you were already saying wild things about him/her being sexy and you are so going to marry this person. Maybe you have once taken for granted an important meeting at the office because you just received a text from your darling inviting you over for dinner. Embarrassing, isn't it? That's what infatuation can cause you to do. You'd be able to commit things that you never dreamed of doing. You would be able to say stuff that doesn't sound like you at all. However, when it's true love vs. infatuation, you can always be yourself a hundred percent. You won't lose control in your actions, and you would not abandon priorities because you know how to balance your emotion. You are still aware that the world doesn't revolve around your darling. It is true love when you are confident that your significant other can accept you for who you are. However, when it's true love vs infatuation, you can always be yourself a hundred percent. You won't lose control in your actions and you would definitely not abandon priorities because you know how to balance your emotion. You are still aware that the world doesn't revolve around your darling. It is true love when you are confident that your significant other can accept you for who you are.

Infatuation is Satisfaction, Love is Pure Happiness

I guess I’m thankful for him even though he is a butt to take pics with 😉❤️

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Don't misinterpret as love also means satisfaction. However, the difference when it's just infatuation you are feeling, giving satisfaction to the person you admire becomes an obligation. It gets to the point where you almost feel like you HAVE to satisfy him/her rather than doing it because you want to. And if such things become work, it might affect your real priorities. You may skip meetings at the office, you may shut out people in your life, and you may have to give up relationships with family members just to make yourself always available for him/her. The only person who gets satisfaction is your darling. While you think this also pleases you for saying that it's worth it because it is for him/her, when the infatuation has gone, you'd realize you almost turned yourself into a slave. Love does not work that way. Opposite to infatuation, love is pure happiness for both parties. Although, true loves would also mean thinking about your significant other's happiness first this should not be at the expense of your happiness. You are happy when you see your loved one happy; it is enough satisfaction for you to see them smiling and doing well. True love is not about counting whoever satisfies the other more, it is always a give-and-take relationship, and actions are based on kindness, not on obligation.

Infatuation Focuses on the Other, Love is Always "Us"

When you have feelings of infatuation for someone, you see them as a result of perfection you almost want to put them on a pedestal and just worship them all day. You are blinded by your strong admiration or infatuation that everything becomes all about him/her. You are even willing to think that you don't deserve this person because they're the whole universe while you are just one of the stars in the universe. You unconsciously step on your self-esteem because you focus on nothing but the love of your life. You watch him/her grow while taking yourself for granted. Love is different, however. It is not true love when the focus is only on one person. It is not true love when it is always "I" or "you." Love is about growing together, planning things together, love is all about being one unit. When you talk to friends about your relationship, you use the pronouns, "we" and "us."

Infatuation Makes You Jealous, Love Has No Insecurities

Have you ever felt the feeling where you get afraid that your partner would leave you because you've said something that would offend them? Or, do you remember yourself thinking consistently that they'll cheat on you with a much prettier or much more handsome person? When they don't answer your texts and calls the minute you send them, do you immediately resort to thinking that they're involved in another romantic relationship? If so, what you probably felt for your partner is no other than infatuation. It makes you feel insecure about yourself. Love, on the other hand, is confident. You don't immediately panic when they don't laugh at your jokes. You don't overthink when they reject your motives of sexual activity before sleeping. You understand that your partner gets tired and has the right to forget things sometimes. You know inside you that you have a relationship that would not break easily just because one of you frowns at the other. Insecurity has just no place for love.

Infatuation Easily Losts Interest, Love Stays The Same

If you have ever been in a relationship where you suddenly lost all emotions just like that, all those times, it was probably just infatuation between the two of you and your partner. Infatuation is a feeling that comes to you at a quick pace—falling head over heels in one day, but it is also a feeling that quickly leaves without warning—a sudden loss of interest for your significant other. Love involves a deep connection. The acceptance between couples went through the test of time. Quarrels, feuds, arguments have paid the relationship a visit to detest the love going on. And if both parties succeeded in going through those obstacles, love won't just go away. Love might take time vs. infatuation that is quick, but while it grows slowly, it becomes difficult to destroy.

Infatuation is Tiring, Love is Energy Boosting

P U R E E V I L #i #am #tired #of #my #generation

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If you notice that you continually get tired of your relationship, the probable explanation would be that the basis of your relationship is infatuation rather than love. Why? When you are infatuated, you worry too much about what your partner thinks. You worry too much about the extent of his/her feelings for you. You concern yourself about whether you have mutual feelings for each other. Just hearing about it probably drains your energy, right? Love is the exact opposite. It is an energy booster. When both people are in love, they don't have to feel insecure in their relationship. Couples only focus on happiness, joy, positiveness, and growing together. When you are confident that your relationship revolves around love, you won't feel jealous or insecure, and you don't have to worry too much about what your partner thinks.

Infatuation Means Disconnection, Love is Never Alone

"moving on and getting better." 🥀

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When couples are infatuated, expect to have times when you feel disconnected. In the relationship, long and meaningful talks don't usually happen because an infatuation-controlling relationship doesn't like drama. You may both feel high from your mutual feelings of infatuation at the minute, the next that you're feeling down, you'll find yourself alone. You will realize that you are never deeply connected to each other. Love is not afraid of confrontations. When one is feeling down, the other one is always ready to lend a hand. When you are low on battery, your partner acts as your charger. Love is always about connecting and love is never about loneliness.

Infatuation is Short-Lived, Love is Everlasting

Drinking at the pub with my mates And there she is with her hair dripping auburn She looks at me with those bewitching eyes And all I could think of is the little brown in your eyes Saw another one at the movies There she was in her satin dress and round face And all I could think of was your head tilt and the dress with the velvet lace Now she approaches me at the library And I keep on listening to her As my mind wavers to the time when you talked It was as if switching on the radio to hear my favorite song Everywhere I go they come to me Swarming around and talking to me But all I'd ever want is to roam with you Like meandering tourists at le Musée du Louvre For infatuation is what happens everyday But, my love You happen only once in a long long way. I think we like someone new everyday. We like the way they talk, the way their hair moves and the way they laugh. We are smitten by these people. But it is always short-lived. We are infatuated by such people. But I think we are just trying to find the same things that we loved in the person before. Because infatuation is that mansion which falls after a few days. While love is that old stone building which never falls down. This poem is based on something of that sort. #poem #poet #writer #poetsofinstagram #writersofinstagram #poetrycommunity #poetsofig #writersofig #spilledink #poetryisnotdead #prose #instapoet #writerscommunity #creativewriting #poets #writingcommunity #instapoetry #instapoem #literature #igpoets #igpoetry #infatuation #infatuationvslove #longdistancerelationship #louvre #auburnhair

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Last, but not least—the most significant difference between infatuation and love is how long it stays. Infatuation might be quicker than love—it catches you off guard, makes you feel anxious and excited at the same time, gives you the excitement that you are looking for in a relationship instantly, makes you sexually active, and more—but it would be quicker than lightning when it leaves you too. And when that happens, you will realize you've wasted your time for total nothingness because it just probably stressed you out while you're at it. You focused too much on things that you would not ever dream of prioritizing. Infatuation is like a friend who lures you with gifts and leaves you hanging when you are no longer relevant. Love is a slow progress. One must have the strong patience to achieve the finish line, but is it worth it? Yes, definitely. You may not get your ideal love life instantly, you may go through tough times with your lover for a couple of times, you may have shed a tear or two, but the reward you can get in exchange for all those challenges is priceless—everlasting happiness.