Relationship Advice: How To Deal With A Selfish Boyfriend

Do you hear "If you love me, you would do that for me" quite often? You're dealing with a selfish boyfriend and here's how to solve that.

By Tashke
Relationship Advice: How To Deal With A Selfish Boyfriend

Love is giving and receiving

The relationship is not a one-way street. In every relationship, there are two people. Both of them should have equal rights and obligations. As we have already said, in love, you should give and receive and that is the only way a true happiness is guaranteed. And do not agree to any other conditions. If your partner starts to show any unusual traits, maybe the time is come to reassess your relationship. If you jointly find out what the reasons for this behavior are, you can work together to resolve it. And if your selfish boyfriend doesn't see the problem with his action, this is a sign that he doesn't care how it will affect you. However, if the solution to the problem does not appear, think about moving on. If you keep giving a selfish boyfriend all your love and affection, and he just continues to hurt you unconsciously, it may be better for you to break up the relationship.

Signs of a selfish boyfriend

A lack of love can ruin most relationships. However, what if you are sure about your boyfriend's feelings, but you just can stand some of his traits? If you are disturbed by his selfishness, there is a particular behavior pattern for such people. We'll explain to you several signs that will show is your boyfriend selfish or not, and try to give you some good advice how to deal with it.

It's all about him

Notice how your boyfriend behaves in front of the other people. If he is selfish, he rarely gives compliments. He is often arrogant, focused only on himself and his benefit. Being egocentric is closely related to selfishness, so this is one of the signs telling your boyfriend loves only himself. For example, you went to a party together, and you are having a great time. Suddenly, your boyfriend leaves because he's bored. And you go home with him because you two came along. It is okay if it happens sometimes. Everyone can get bored once in a while. But, if this often happens, it means that you are dealing with a selfish person. He doesn't care if something fulfills you and if you are happy. It's only essential that his interests endanger his sensibilities.

He is selfish in a bed

Sex in the relationship is something you both have to enjoy. When you are in a relationship with a selfish boyfriend, he will only look at how to please himself. If you want to find ut are you dealing with that kind of a person, the advice is to pay attention to his behavior in bed. When your selfish boy wants to have sex, he will quickly take you to bed and end up with it fast. After finishing the job, he'll turn you his back and fall asleep. A selfish person won't devote even couple of minutes of his attention to you. This behavior implicates that, if he doesn't take care of your needs in bed, he won't mind it in a relationship too. You can rarely expect tenderness from a selfish person. If he avoids kissing and cuddling, you need to re-examine your relationship. Maybe he only treats you as a sexual object, and you are not aware of it because you are genuinely in love. You are in love, and you accept that he is not the most gentle person in the world. You can only dream about foreplay, and you are not okay with that, but you still agree to his conditions. Fast, selfish, and often rough sex will destroy any relationship. These traits are not desirable in a relationship, neither short or long one.

Selfish boyfriend calculates about everything

It is clear as day that you have a selfish boyfriend when you notice that he only sees his interest. Greedy people in every situation want to get the best for themselves. Your boyfriend will often calculate - starting with the people he hangs out with to the activities he does. He will be the same when it comes to your relationship. Selfish boyfriends will be loving and kind only when it suits him. You two will go to bed only when he is in a good mood. You miss him, so what? If he doesn't miss you, you two won't see for days. You will go out for dinner only if he wants to go out. You don't want to go out? Fine, that selfish person will go without you; maybe you are grumpy tonight, so he calculates it's better for him that you stay home and don't ruin his evening. These all are signs that you are dealing with a very selfish boyfriend who won't care about you or your needs at all.

One life #boysmind #unhappylove

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"Sorry" and "thank you" are strange words for him

It's rare for any man to say "sorry." He'll avoid using it because he doesn't want to be cissy if he apologizes for some mistake. But the man who loves you will find a way to show you how much he is truly sorry and do everything to correct that error. "Sorry" may not solve the problem, but it will be easier if you hear that. If your boyfriend never apologizes, or never corrects his mistakes, it's a sign that you have a very selfish person next to you. He never listens to your advice, because the greedy person knows the best. The same thing is with "thank you." Selfish boyfriend won't be thankful even if you are the kindest person in a world. For him, it is normal that you are always there to help him and fulfill his demands. And he is convinced you should be thankful for having the honor to be with him. Words without deeds do not mean anything. But if your boyfriend never shows you respect in this way, maybe it's better to leave it. So he can enjoy himself and his selfishness. Sure, the selfish boyfriend can say "sorry" or "thank you" just to get you in bed. For him, those words mean nothing. If this is a situation in your relationship, it says you are his slave, not his girlfriend.

Selfish boyfriend needs to flirt

While being with a selfish boyfriend, notice his behavior in front of the other girls. You will see that he is flirting all the time. Greedy people love themselves more than anyone, so they'll find a way to satisfy their ego, and flirting is the best way to do it. It will raise their self-confidence, and it's a kind of a compliment for selfish people. Your selfish boy won't hesitate to flirt while you are next to him, just to rub your nose that he still got the game. Of course, he won't think that he is doing something wrong. Or, if he does, you'll forgive him because being alone sounds worse? If you don't have an immense desire to punch that selfish guy right in a face, then something is wrong with you.

No excuses for any kind of a maltreatment

Manipulating other people's feelings is a form of harassment. And it can have consequences for you if you do not stop it on time. We don't mean exclusively on physical violence, but not excluded that at one point it will come to that. We think more about mind games your selfish boyfriend will play to satisfy himself. If you often hear abusive words from your boyfriend, it only shows his selfishness. You'll figure that out when he starts the arguing for no reason and uses every chance to humiliate and insult you.Your selfish boyfriend must insult you to make him feel better. And this is one of the traits of overly-self-centered people.

Selfish boyfriend manipulates you

Let's face it, we all were crazy in love sometimes and idealized our loved one. And we were ready to do some stuff we usually don't. "If you love me, you'll do... (continue the sentence)". Does this sentence ring a bell for you? If your boyfriend is using love to manipulate you, it's a severe problem. Your boyfriend will do anything to make you feel bad if you don't fulfill his demand. Or the opposite, this selfish guy will compliment you every two seconds, just to get what he wants. Another version of this is "it will be as I say and there's no other way." Of course, you can negotiate with a selfish boyfriend, and try to make some deal of mutual pleasure. He will maybe listen to you, but it always will be in his way.

Selfish boyfriend wants to change you

A selfish man has a very high opinion of himself.We have already mentioned that egocentricity is a feature of greedy people. If your boyfriend believes that he is good at everything, he'll ask you to adjust to him. He will insist on changing you, not himself. Selfish boyfriend will tell you all the time to lose some weight, even if you are extremely hot. Also, he doesn't like your clothes, hairstyle, or friends. Do not be surprised if one day he asks you to choose between him and your friends, just like that. A selfish boyfriend will always compare you to others, and he'll convince you that it's in your interest. If you agree with this mind game, be prepared for more. The selfish boyfriend will never be satisfied. He'll let you know that you are replaceable.

Selfish boyfriend doesn't see make plans with you

You're in a relationship for a while, you're crazy in love and want to spend a life with your boyfriend. In your head, you already plan how you two will marry, what will your pregnancy be like, and what names to give to kids. That's nice, but what does your boyfriend think about your plans? If he has never mentioned a shared future, there are two possible reasons. He doesn't think about it, or he doesn't plan future with you. Your boyfriend selfishly keeps his plans for himself and doesn't share his thoughts with you. Who cares about wedding and pregnancy? His most important plan is the match he'll watch for the weekend with his friends. If you stay with such a selfish person, you can only dream of the wedding and pregnancy and hope that your boyfriend will change someday.

How to deal with a selfish boyfriend

At some point, it is desirable to be a little selfish and self-esteemed. These traits are sometimes useful. If you do not like and do not appreciate yourself, you cannot expect that from anyone else. It is essential for you to be aware of your quality and don't let selfish person convince you that you don't deserve his love and attention. But, if you have a very selfish boyfriend next to you, you have to find a way to deal with him. If it's important for both of you want to have a healthy and loving relationship, take a look at some of our advice.

A honest conversation can be the solution

If you notice signs of change in your boyfriend's behavior, ask yourself what can be the cause of it. An honest conversation can be the solution to any problem if it has the mutual will and determination to resolve it. Before any radical moves, sit with your selfish boyfriend and ask him what seem to be a problem. If he accepts the conversation, that is great! The two of you can solve the problem together. Maybe there are some problems that he doesn't want to talk about yet. Perhaps, something from the past has been torturing him, and he is afraid to tell you. Whatever the reason is, ask him to be honest with you. Even if it's a scam, tell him you just want the problem to be solved. Explain to him that he can't sit on two chairs and that you aren't mad because he finds someone besides you. Even if you're dying inside, stay strong. If you let selfish person hurt you, don't show him it destroyed you. If he behaves selfishly, it doesn't mean that he's cheating on you. But some issues exist, and you have to be very persistent to figure it out.

Find out his plans and goals

When you deal with a selfish person, the advice is not to plan anything, before you get that straight. Girls, if you are unhappy, don't expect a wedding or a pregnancy with a guy who thinks only about himself. There will be plenty of time for that when you find the right one. Now you just need to figure it out whether your boyfriend is that one. Force him to have a serious conversation about your relationship. Ask your selfish boyfriend to be honest with you, no matter what. Tell him about your plans, mention a wedding and pregnancy. His reaction to that will tell you everything. Every guy will be terrified when you mention wedding and pregnancy because they are afraid of commitment. If he accepts these ideas with enthusiasm, his selfishness can be solved. But if he is shocked and begins to make excuses, he is not someone to plan for the future.

Appreciate yourself more

A healthy relationship, besides love, should involve compromises, mutual respect, and support. If only one side shows these traits, a connection is not complete. When you are dealing with selfish boyfriend, perhaps the solution is to appreciate yourself more. If he doesn't show you respect, show it to yourself. Treat yourself the way he should treat you. Do not settle for compromises that only apply to his well-being. If your boyfriend realizes his mistake, he will stop being selfish because he understands how you feel when he is behaving like that. If he admits his mistake, maybe there is hope for you two.

U sklopu naše akcije #astojetoseksualnonasilje? koju održavamo povodom cjelomjesečnog obilježavanja Međunarodnog dana protiv nasilja nad ženama, donosimo Vam iskrenu priču od naše drage Adriane! Adriana je odlučila otići korak dalje i napisati nam priču u kojoj hrabro progovara o seksualnom nasilju, o nasilju u vezama.... O nasilju kojeg mnoge žene doživljavaju svakodnevno! Adriana je doživjela (i preživjela) izuzetno nasilnu vezu netom poslije završetka srednje školu. Vezu koja joj je obilježila cijele dvadesete i čije posljedice i dalje nosi sa sobom, samo sada puno hrabrije, ponosnije i pametnije. Ona je svoju priču podijelila sa svima na svojem blogu sa ciljem širenja vidiljivosti ovoga velikog problema i poticanja na razgovora o istom. ✨Link in Bio

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Should you stay in a selfish relationship?

Love can make us forget about rationality and logic. Of course, you need to know what you want from your relationship and make it clear to your boyfriend. But if you are the only one who satisfies the wishes and demands, and if only you are trying to improve your relationship, it's time to ask yourself are you happy with that. When your boyfriend isn't showing any interest in you, and he also exhausts you emotionally, spiritually and physically, there is no excuse to stay in such a relationship. It's clear to you that the end is near, why are you torturing yourself being with someone so selfish? Being in a relationship with a selfish person is a sign of a low self-respect. If your boyfriend is selfish, it does not necessarily mean that he does not have feelings for you. But besides love, in every relationship must be mutual respect and support.

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