When Your Husband no Longer Finds You Attractive
Married girls, we've all been there at some point in our lives. Somehow, the years of partnership whittled down the strong flames of attraction that made our sacred unions intact in the first place. You no longer find yourselves trying to impress each other physically in bed, and instead sink into your side as you prepare for the next day's routine. You are reading this article, which is the first step in the right direction. Attraction is a concept that cannot be negotiated. Humans are primal creatures, and our triggers for attraction often have to do with stimuli in our environment. Below are 15 ways to attract your husband and become the object of his desires once again.
On a very high level, the key to opening up attraction between you and your husband is to put an attempt towards change. This seems simple and makes sense, because the current environment is not working for attraction, so we must change something. But what do we change? We can change ourselves — how we look, how we dress, how we think. We can change our environment — where we are or where we go. There are thousands of things we can change for the better, but that change that will renew our marriage is different for every single wife. We do not know each other's lives. We do not know each other's socioeconomic status, physical health, age, location, culture, and other factors that can determine what actions to take at this point in time. We can only offer advice to give you great ideas on how to get your marriage back on track.
1) Control Your Weight
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No woman wants to be asked about her weight. But it is a natural occurrence to see yourself gaining weight in your marriage. As we get older, our metabolism slows down, so we cannot eat like we once could. Additionally, comfortable married life can make us complacent in our fitness goals. It is up to you to evaluate where you are on the spectrum of the digital scale. Most men would not care about a few extra pounds on their lover, but if you are getting to a danger point (weighing much more than him), there could be some issues with attraction until your husband can be the bigger one in the relationship again. It's important to have a discussion with your husband on what does and does not attract him. If weight becomes an issue, you know the answer to your solution and can work on it immediately. Physically fit women are confident, healthy, and attractive.
2) Make Revisions to Your Wardrobe
When we are married we are comfortable. Our husbands, kids, and homes make us comfortable. Our lives are comfortable, and we choose to wear comfortable clothes. Many single women transitioning into the wife life begin to gradually wear less tight dresses, perky blouses, and revealing tops. Instead, we opt for tacky sweaters, ratty shirts, and whatever's available. Weight is not the only aesthetic factor, and often the wrong piece of clothing will make a great body look average. It may be a bit of an investment to buy some new clothing, but the right dress will pay extreme dividends on your husband's renewed attraction. Let's face it. Some articles of clothing are just not physically attractive. Especially the clothes that we SHOULD be wearing in bed. Putting more effort into the way we address will not only attract our husbands, but will also attract onlookers.
3) Add Some Surprises to Your Married Life
Married life is comfortable and predictable. There is no bigger killer in the love world than predictability. You can offset this by adding elements of surprise to your marriage. Introduce him to a new cast of friends with a surprise party, make him a very thoughtful gift, or, for the daring, surprise sex at night. He'll appreciate the change in pace and his interest levels will spike when being presented with something pleasurable and unexpected. The key to this tip is to create a unpredictable and positive experience to attract and impress your husband once more — bonus points if it's a physically strenuous surprise.
4) Renew You and Your Husband's Wedding Vows
Do you remember your wedding vows? The exact words that were exchanged that day? Those vows are sacred — and represent the strong institution of marriage that you and your husband resigned to during that wonderful day. Sometimes, when attraction with your husband is fading, organizing an event for you two to renew your vows can make the relationship fruitful once more. You and your husband will be able to relive your wedding day (in a sense), and both have a reminder on just how far the two of you came and the steps to take that area ahead. Many times, the love will reappear as golden old memories resurface.
5) Seek Couple's Counseling With Your Husband
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Two young married people can have a hard time figuring things out on their own. Many times, letting a professional assist your relationship with targeted counseling can give much needed insight to the underlying issues between you, your husband, and attraction. Sometimes, your insurance policies can cover couples counseling. But you should be prepared to make a sizable down payment if you want hire a counselor who is reputable and supportive. He/she will be attentive to your needs and may notice points of pain in your marriage that you had not initially considered.
6) Plan a Getaway With Your Husband
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Life can be dull. What better way is there to destroy the boredom in our lives than with a vacation or getaway? For a period of time, you and your husband can leave the responsibilities of the world behind and do whatever you want. There will be plenty of time to impress and attract him as well. Distant shores are a great place to renew attraction with your husband in a physically intimate manner. What more could he want than to lay with his wife at night after a long day on the beach. Using the positive stimuli from a foreign environment is a great battery to recharge a marriage with no attraction. Sometimes, stress gets in our way when we want to have a healthy marriage. Going on a vacation can help refresh your minds, bodies, and spirits, and have you and your husband feeling like you've been hit with a clean slate.
7) Get Some Alone Time Together
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Having a group of dirty, screaming children in your household can be one of the leading attraction killers in a relationship with your husband. Many married couples have kids, and sometimes letting the kids go for a while will give you and your husband time to refocus on the relationship. You could send them to a relative's house, educational program, after school hobby, or even get a babysitter. Remember, your kids will live a better life if you and your husband have a better life - you two are their parents and guardians and an improvement in your marriage can only lead to an improvement in their lives. If that is not possible, you could consider nighttime activities. When the kids are tucked into bed, you can cuddle with your husband, go out for a night on the town, or just have a nice bedtime chat. These small things can help attract your husband and renew his perception of you in a very positive manner.
8) Attract Your Husband With a Home Cooked Meal
Made a simple Seafood Porridge last night using dried scallops, abalone and fish slices, prawns, mushrooms and peanuts coz the weather was chilly and makes an ideal comfort food. But was too tired to get it posted, instead I just knocked out b4 anything was done. 😂 Here's a simple recipe to share. In fact, to shorten the cooking time because I was really hungry, I pre-cooked the rice in the rice cooker before transferring it to the stove and cooked it further. If abalone is too much of a luxury, you can always replace w imitation abalone slices just like me ! Lol. They are called 贵妃片when purchased from the frozen section in supermarkets. 😁 Ingredients : 1 cup short grain rice 400ml watee 400ml stock 2 tbsp shallot oil 2 tbsp abalone water 3 dried scallops Some fish slices Some abalone slices Some de-shelled prawns A handful of shimeiji mushrooms 1 tbsp of peanuts Some diced spring onion (for serving) Some fried shallots (for serving) Salt and pepper to taste (optional) - in fact, I didn't use any seasoning coz the dried scallops, abalone water and the rest already provide for the taste. Method: Add the precooked or raw rice (washed) with the water, stock, dried scallops, peanuts, abalone water and shallot oil together in a pot. Cooked and stir occasionally to prevent the rice from sticking to the bottom of the pot when it starts to get sticky or to desired consistency. Add in the mushrooms, prawns, fish slices and stir well. When all are cooked, off the flame. Serve with diced spring onion and fried shallots. Then tuck in !!! . . . . . #eatwhattonight #homecooked #homecooking #foods #foodporn #sgfood #foodblogger #food #foodpornsg #homecookedgoodness #homecookedmeal #sgblogger #foodblog #blogger #recipes #foodphotography #foodstyle #foodinstagram #instafood #foodie #foodies #foodiesg #whati8today #porridge #chinesefood #congee #recipe #delicious #好吃 #粥
For some men, the quickest way to their heart is through their stomach. He can be impressed more with a hot meal instead of a hot wife in bed. When he comes home at night from a long day at work, and sees a carefully crafted meal by his loving wife, his love for you will strengthen tenfold. There are many meals that are not hard to prepare and taste great. It's up to you to gauge your cooking ability, your cooking equipment, ingredients available, and time frame to select the meal that would fit your needs the most. It would be especially impressive to feed him something healthy and delicious.
9) Attract Your Husband in Bed
If food isn't doing the trick, another way to attract your husband is through *activities* in bed. There are plenty of sexual techniques you can use to accomplish this, but make sure to do something that he's never seen before. I cannot determine how much sex is in your household, dear reader, but I can say that heterosexual men and women both have needs. Spicing things up in the bedroom by learning a few new positions, incorporating props for role playing purposes, or even changing the location can do wonders to attract your husband. Sexuality and sensuality play a very important role in the law of attraction, and your husband will appreciate the efforts you put to improving those aspects of your character.
10) Attract Your Husband With a Thoughtful Gesture
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Sometimes, it's the thought that counts, and there is nothing more attractive to a husband than a wife who is constantly thinking about him, his safety, well being, and his happiness. Maybe he has had a long day at work. Grinding up a nice cup of coffee beans and bringing a drink to him while he lies down is an attractive offer no exhausted husband would turn down. You will show him that you are always thinking about him, and that you care tremendously about his health. The thoughtfulness is more important than the gesture here. Even if he does not enjoy your present, act, or service, any sane husband will appreciate the fact that his wife is thinking about him and how to make him happy.
11) Attract Your Husband Using Active Listening
Active listening is a conversational technique that involves using variables of a conversation to dictate a discussion. There is nothing more attractive to a husband than a wife who is actively listening to his wants and needs. An example of active listening will be described below. Let's have a hypothetical conversation: Husband: I had a hard day at work Wife (Not Actively Listening): That sucks. Well at least work is over now. OR Wife (Actively Listening): What was hard about work? Husband: I had to file double the reports I usually do, and my boss would not stop screaming at me. Also, the copy machine broke. Wife (Not Actively Listening): That sounds terrible; you should go rest. OR Wife (Actively Listening): Why is your boss screaming at you if you are doing double the work? He should be thanking you. That is extremely unreasonable. See the difference? The actively listening wife hears what the husband says, and engages him in conversation using his statements. The wife who is not actively listening offers very useless platitudes such as "that sounds terrible" or "I hope your day is better". Engaging your husband in conversation will attract him in the sense that he will see you as someone who is genuinely concerned about his well being, and respects him enough to hear him out after a long day.
12) Treat Your Husband to a Deep Massage
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This is certainly a great way to get some hands on experience with attracting your husband. Treat him to a deep massage, and make him feel refreshed and ready to go for the days ahead. If you want to go the extra mile, setting a soothing location, using essential oils, and brushing up on the latest massage therapy techniques will sharpen your technique. Many married couples also report lack of sexual encounters between husband and wife. If you find yourself in such a situation, getting your hands on your husband may be the first step back in reviving a bedroom. If you are unsure of where to start, try looking up some videos, articles, and images on premier masseuse techniques. You'll be sure to find something that will relax your husband and attract your husband to you.
13) Spend Some Time Apart From Your Husband
If time together is not solving the problem, you may want to consider time apart. Sometimes, there is nothing you can do to attract your husband and further attempts will push him away even more. If you find yourself in this situation, take some time apart. You can go on a trip, live with your parents, or just get out of the house for a while. Marriage creates a situation where we are with our husbands every day. This can make people grow tired of each other, especially if your husband is the independent type. Once you two are separated for a while (not divorced) coming back to each other can be like a fresh start and you may find it easier to attract your husband.
14) Ask Your Husband What He is Attracted To
Sometimes the simplest solution is the best solution. If you and your husband are great at communicating with each other, why don't you just ask him what he is attracted to? Sometimes this simple and direct method can solve all of your relationship questions with just a few words. All you have to do is confront him and ask him, "honey, I feel like the attraction in our relationship has gone down. What are you attracted to, and what can I do to help?" or something along those lines. He will either respond in an honest way or not, but it can't hurt to try this out. Couples who communicate more survive the hard times.
15) Gather Information From Trusted Sources
Sometimes a little espionage can be your best friend. If you and your husband aren't communicating very well, trying asking people in his circle to find out what's going on. Remember: your end goal is to attract and impress your husband once more, so this is a positive intention. Some ideas for this situation are asking his friends and family. Specifically, if he has very close friends you can just shoot them a message and tell them you're concerned with your life around home and see what the response is. You could also ask around his workplace. Maybe there is an attractive young intern who is working under him, and his temptations at work are leaving his attraction to you in the dust. Your husband is not perfect. Men and women never are. After you have gathered information, you can use that to make an educated decision. One girl I know thought her husband was cheating on her because the attraction was gone, but it turns out his mother was ill. You can never be sure of the outlying cause of your husband's attraction dying unless you are well informed, and gathering information is a great way to get informed.
Ladies, all we want to do is attract our husbands. Whether that be physically in bed at night, or maybe we just want his gaze to linger on us for a longer duration. Attraction cannot be negotiated, but attraction can be manipulated. I honestly hope from the bottom of my heart that these tips help you win the attraction of your husband again. Trying is better that not trying, and more often than not, your husband will appreciate that you are even trying to attract him again. A stable home is a happy home, and a stable home is one where the husband and wife are attracted to each other. If there is no attraction, the husband may look elsewhere for it.