If You Want To Leave Your Husband, Read This First!

'Marriage' is a magical word that brings joy and happiness, and also a lot of energy for those who love the idea of being married. To be married to someone means you must be able to understand and appreciate them better, and most importantly you must be able to fall in love with them over and over again. That is the key to a successful marriage that lasts a lifetime. To be in love and to be married might sound quite the same because love and marriage go hand-in-hand. But, being in love and being married are totally different because with marriage comes responsibilities. The idea of marriage has made everyone believe that it is the best way to nurture the true love. But that is not as easy as it sounds. It is hard to be in a marriage. The imperfections that you overlooked in your partner are still there to be dealt with. You will understand better that you can- never really change people. Marriage is a bumpy ride: you either completely hate your partner at times or you are deeply lost in love with him. There are times when you feel that marriage was a bad idea and that being with your husband drives you nuts. However, these feelings might change or might not. The main reason why most marriages fail these days are the pressure that is put in, to make marriages work. So, If you want to leave your husband due to a failed marriage, then you need to read this first, to know what needs to be done.

One of the most complicated decisions that you ever need to make is whether to stay in your marriage or to move out. Making this decision means you must be ready to move on with your life without your husband in it. It gets even more complicated when you have your child involved. So, you must know both the sides and must be able to deal with it. There is no point in hurting yourself and your child by staying in a loveless marriage. Hoping things could get better and expecting that reality would change is never going to work. If you find yourself giving second chances to your husband all the time to lead the same old failed marriage, then it is wise you make a decision fast. To decide what needs to be done can be taking so long if either one of you still loves the other. Being in love with your husband is perfectly fine and that should make a relationship work. But still, is love alone enough for marriage? Not likely. You must be able to do a lot of other things to make your marriage work. Sometimes, it would be easy for you to figure out what you want; if you are already leading separate lives. So, it gets clear for you to know what you want.

When you have decided to leave your husband it is important that you have an honest conversation with him. By having the talk you get to know what your husband feels when you tell him, you want to quit on your marriage. It is important that you have a word with your husband to know his side of the argument. If you have an open conversation, to your surprise your husband might be open to you as well. You will be able to make a better decision when you have the talk. If your husband still loves you, he might try to hold you back. However, it is up to you to decide whether you still want to leave him or not. If you are in the fence of making a decision this can help you decide better. If in case you know that you are not going to stay any longer in your marriage, you will not be having trouble even when he tries to hold you back by saying he loves you. If you are going separate ways on mutual consent then your husband might be supportive of having the talk. The idea of leaving your husband will not be as bad as it seems even with your child when it is done on mutual agreement. You can finally stop hurting yourself and move ahead. By actually having the conversation about your marriage with your husband you will know what needs to be done.

Now that you have made your decision, it is wise to inform your husband about it. Don't try to act on your decision immediately, as you might have other financial work to be done before going separate ways. Give it a two to six months time before you sort things out, though this might sound tricky, it is best for you and your child in the longer run. If your husband doesn't want to leave you, he might create letting go hard for you by not agreeing on mutual terms. This will only make the process tedious, so try taking it smooth with your husband. If your husband is supportive then all your other formalities might be going at a gentle pace. If your husband really loves you, he might make sure that you are well organized before you walk out of the door. Inform your close friends or family about your decision and ask for their guidance. The good ones will always be there to support and help you. These are the ones that you need to be with right now. Never let people know who are not worthy and those who would confuse you and make things worse.

Now that your decision is final, the next step will be to have separate bank accounts. Start to save your income in your savings account. This will help you track the money usage and know how much you will need to keep you balanced. You will know what more you need to keep your life smooth. This way you can start to work on your need right from the start. This will help you to understand that you have to take a lead in your life and that you can never depend on your husband anymore. You will become more independent even before you go separate ways. As being in marriages can make you dependent on your husband, so starting fresh might be a problem. But, when you sort out your finances you will learn to stop hurting yourself and make the most out of it. When in marriage, it is quite normal to have joint accounts. However, when bidding goodbye to your husband it is wise to have half your joint account money into your separate savings account. However, this should be your last resort as this might make your life complicated than what you already have.

If you have a child then make sure you secure your kid first. Make plans that are best for your child. Let your child know the reason for not being able to work the marriage out. Make sure that your kid understands why you are leaving your husband. It is not going to be any easier for them, so try to make it as gentle as possible. If you think your husband is a very bad father and if you think he doesn't deserve to be a part of your kid's life then you need to make sure that is all set as a part of the plan. On the other hand, if your husband is a good father then make sure that you involve him in your child's life. After all, he is still their father. Never get your hatred get involved in the way of letting your husband see his child. If you find yourself hurting at the thought of your husband getting involved with your child, just because you hate him is not advisable. You can only try and stop him if he has never acted like a father or was never a good father. Never forget the fact that your child still needs him even if you don't. So, make sure you come up with a plan that works best for both of you and for your kid.

The next big question when you want to leave your husband will be who will move out and find a new place to live. If you want to move out immediately then you can find a friend who is willing to share their condo, this can be helpful for a short-term. But for the long run, you need to find a place for your own. If you and your husband are really comfortable living together for the time being then it is wise to extend your stay until you find a new place to live in. If you have no kids, finding a new place will be a lot easier than you think. When you are trying to find a new place to live in, make sure that you go for an affordable one. If you have kids then you need to look for a place which is easily accessible for your kid's school. Finding a place that your kid loves will take a little bit stress off them. If both the parents are going to be involved with your kids then it is better to look for a place which is easily accessible for both of you. But, if you are not involving your husband in your kid's life then you can look for someplace further down. Finding a new place to live in might sound a lot simple but it needs a lot of your thought and effort.

Getting the paperwork ready before the actual work is very important. This is a very important process and it needs to be done with utmost care. Make sure you have a copy of all the property documents that you and your husband posses. You can make the split later but you must at least be aware what properties you have. You can collect the documents for your entire mortgage like vehicle loan, home loan, and then your retirement plans and much more. All these documents might be a greater issue when it comes to sharing your finances. If you feel really bad or sorry for doing this- so you don't miss to share the valuables, note that it is a quite normal procedure. This is a safe process and must be taken care of before getting the actual divorce. If you feel that you are not aware of all these paperwork to be done, you can even hire professionals who can help you out. They can get you a copy of your computer hard drive and all the documents can be photocopied. This not only reduces stress but it can help in minimizing the pressure between you and your husband. You can contact your divorce lawyer if you really need something smooth. Sometimes, you might get into a financial mess when done by oneself. So, it is better to hire a divorce lawyer at an affordable price instead of hurting yourself.

Before you step out of your door make sure you have made a proper plan for your money usage. Plan your expenses in a way that it doesn't affect your current living style. Know your budget and areas that you need to cut-back before you leave your husband. If you are financially well then it would be a bonus for you and your kids. But it is still important that you know how to manage your money in the most effective way. If you struggling with financial stability make sure that have sorted out with your finances. Never completely rely on alimony because that is never a sure source of income. As it becomes a question of how far your husband is reliable. If you are the breadwinner of your family then you need to be ready to pay alimony to your husband when you want to leave him. So, make sure that you are prepared to handle financial issues in a proper way. Being ready to face your problems can save you a lot of trouble and you can save hurting yourself. You must get your own credit record if you don't have one. You can issue a free copy and then you can slowly take it to your own credit record. You need to use it wisely and that will definitely help you in money management. Look for ways to improve your money management skills and use your money in a thoughtful way.

Find ways to boost your income. Look for opportunities to earn more money. If you are financially stable and with a great savings account then you are going to live a life better than you think you are. But if that is not the case then you need to make sure that you look for ways to increase the source of your income. You can either enroll yourself in other part-time jobs that are available in your neighborhood. But if you are looking for more steady income then you need to look for some serious jobs. Try to upgrade yourself, learn new skills, use every opportunity that you get, this way you can earn more money. Know the latest technology and make yourself an expert in it, success will be yours. You can start looking for ways to improve your financial stability even before you leave your husband. If you feel your husband still loves you and will be ready to help, you can even take his help. Make sure you have made plans to boost your income even before you leave your husband. This way life will be smooth and happy even after you leave your husband. If you have kids then boosting your income is very important to balance yourself and it will help you from hurting yourself.

This is the most emotional part where you actually leave your husband. It is always wise to leave your husband when he is around so he knows what he is losing. Make sure you leave him with a proper goodbye. But every relationship has a different situation. If you were in an abusive relationship, then try to leave him while he is at work. If you know your husband will threaten you or create hell a lot of chaos it is better you have your friends or family around when you leave him or better do it when he is not around. If you are in a bad situation and make plans to leave your husband right away, it can come out as a shock to your husband. This can be emotionally overwhelming to do. But if things have to be done then it must be done. But if you have already made plans with your husband that you are going to leave, it might not come as a shock but it will still be emotionally hard for both you and your husband. Make sure you pack your belongings and leave your husband. If you have kids, then make sure they know and can understand it. This might be a little stressful on the kids as they get to go separate ways with their father if he was a deserving one.

Now that you have made the greatest decision of your life, you need to focus on getting back to normal. Although it might seem that you are doing your best, you are actually not. Never isolate yourself, spend time with your family and friends. You must identify your feelings and must stop hurting yourself even if you don't. You might feel like your husband loves you and you made a bad decision but it is just because you are just learning to let go of our past. Spend time with your family and friends, if you have a child make sure that you spend as much time as possible with them so that you can cheer them up as well. Being with your friends and family can give you a clearer view of your life. It can either make things easier or difficult. Still, getting to be with your family who really loves you can make your life totally worth it. Ask for help when in need, these are the people who stood by you at all times. You are going through a difficult time and your family and friends will be there for you. Socialize as much as possible till you figure things out and make yourself better. Being with right people is what you need right now. If you feel depressed and need professional help you can seek a therapist. Never feel embarrassed to seek help.

After you leave your husband the recovery process might not be a quick one. Till you figure out all things out it will be at a slow pace. Make sure that you keep it steady. Go back to work, make yourself independent. Live your life for yourself without any commitments. You take complete charge and control of your life. This way you will be back on your feet. Life will get a lot better than you think. Try to advance in your career and achieve more in your work life. Sometimes, women tend to struggle financially after a divorce; make sure it doesn't happen in your case. Do what is best for you and work towards in achieving your dream. In your initial days, you might find it hard but as days go by you will be able to become happier and life will be the way you wanted it. If you have kids make sure you give them your time and support as well. Once you get back to normal, you will become a stronger, wiser, accomplished and more determined woman. So, try to improve yourself in the best possible way and you will feel fulfilled in your life.

Being alone is better than to stay in a failed marriage. Being stuck where you don't belong can only make you worse and never let you grow as a person. So, be brave and break through your marriage you will come out strong. The fear of being alone can make you not want to leave your husband but once you do, you will learn to be independent and take control of your life. You will be able to find happiness and joy and appreciate being single again. Never lose hope in love, always be open to the idea of falling in love. You will never know when the right person will walk in. Have faith in yourself, as now it might seem to you that true love never exists. You will understand what love is and will be able to appreciate it when it happens. Being able to go through a breakup will make you a strong person. You will understand the meaning of life better. You will know what to expect from your partner and what you want in a relationship. This will give you a better focus on life and relationship.

You will slowly learn that bidding goodbye to your husband and to step out of the marriage was the best decision ever made if you were in a failed marriage. Just because you were in a failed marriage doesn't mean all marriages fail. Sometimes, love is not enough to make the marriage work it takes a lot more than that. So, All the Best in having a fun filled life and finding the right partner when he comes by.