10 Crucial Tips For Dating A Woman With Kids

Dating a woman with kids is not as easy as dating one without commitments. You need to learn to compromise and be reasonable. Find out how to go about it.

By Dagmar Thomson
10 Crucial Tips For Dating A Woman With Kids

10 Crucial Tips for Dating a Woman with Kids

The woman of your dreams finally shows up in your life. Unfortunately, as you are about to make your move and let her know you are interested in her, you find out that she is a single parent. This should not make you give up so quickly. Dating a woman with kids can seem impossible or intimidating. However, once you get through the emotional struggle of not being first on her list or kids who are resistant to change, then you will have found the woman of your dreams. You need to know that how you act during the trial period will determine how far your relationship will go. You need to keep in mind that there are issues that come with dating a single mother. It is not the same as dating a single woman. You should know that a single mother will feel foreign emotions when she gets back into the dating scene and you will start to be insecure. This is something you have to be careful of. It would be stupid if you thought that having a relationship with a single mother is easy. It is hard work and you need to have tips and advice on how to go about it. If you are interested in having a relationship with a woman who has kids, here are a few tips and advice you should know and have.

1. You Need To Plan

Everybody loves being spontaneous at times but not all the time. If you want to go out with a single mother, you need to not be spontaneous. A night out requires a babysitter to look after her kids. If you want to go on a vacation, she needs to clear it with her boss. Unlike a single woman, a woman with kids cannot afford to be unemployed since she needs to meet the needs of her kids. You have to get used to the idea that even the smallest dates have to be planned to avoid having problems in the end. You also need to have other suggestions in mind in case your original plan fails. You should never forget this tip and advice.

2. Things Go Slowly When Dating a Woman with Kids

Do not be alarmed when things move slower than you are used to. This does not necessarily imply physically. You could be sleeping with the woman frequently but you have not been to her house or met her children. Your idea of a home as a bachelor is not that serious. You can move out of your house anytime you want and you can even invite random people to your place. The woman you are dating probably sees her house as a home because of her children. She might feel vulnerable about inviting you to her home or to meet her children. When she decides to invite you to her home, you will find personal belongings, her children's drawings, and their family photos on display. If you find a woman with kids is not ready to invite you to her house or introduce you to her family and friends, do not be scared. When she decides to let you into her life, your relationship will mean so much more.

3. She Has Game

You should not think that because you are dating a woman with kids that she is not dating other people. She is just like any other woman you have dated before. She could be interested to be in a casual relationship or have no relationship. If you think she is the kind of woman whose life revolves around attending her kid's PTA meetings, then you are sexist and you are going to fail in the end. Kids are some of the things that help a woman define herself. Being a woman with kids does not mean that she cannot also be independent, a little wild, or sexy. When you assume such things about a woman with kids, there is no way you can have a relationship with her, let alone date her.

4. Her Kids Always Come First

Unless you are a selfish and cold person, you should know this already. However, this does not mean that you are ready to come to terms with being in second place in the relationship. It can be easy to say that it is okay being second in a woman's life, but the truth is, you cannot stand it. It will be hard and annoying when your romantic dates are cancelled due to a missing babysitter or your night romance is cut short by her kid's nightmare. It is hard for most young men to deal with problems related to family. If you are not ready to be second place in the relationship, just tell her the truth. It will be selfish to the woman and yourself not to admit the truth that you are selfish. If you have friends who have dated a single mother, you can seek advice from them on how they coped with being in second place.

5. She Is Direct

Being a parent makes you grow up faster than you would want to. It ensures that you put your priorities in line, and get rid of the unnecessary things in life. A woman with kids knows what she wants in a relationship. She does not have time to play games. Most people confuse this and think that such a woman wants commitment. This is not always the case. She could be interested in a long-term relationship, a fling, or something in between. A woman with kids will find it hard to plan for a love life between her kids and work. When she does, she will be serious about it like her work. If the two of you are not on the same page, with time you will find that you have been let go and you are a thing of the past.

6. Include Her Children in Your Plans

Thank you @jamaicablue for your fabulous February special for half price coffees between 2pm and 4pm. We have used this wisely as our weekly ‘Mummy and Me time’ each Monday afternoon and have enjoyed reading a book together whilst enjoying a perfectly brewed coffee and kids milkshakes. Got to love a family friendly promotion. . . . . . #jamaicablue #jamaicabluebeeliar #coffeetime #familyfriendly #perthisok #mumlife #quinnyfixfortheday #mydailyrayofsunshine #smile #perthmum #ustime #blessed #mumstyle #motherhood #parenthood #mumbargains #mumhack #goodcoffee #mumandme #mumandmetime #thisisliving #afterschoolpickmeup #mumofboys #mumoftwo #preciousmoments #thankyou #nomakeup #todayscuteness #motherandson @beeliarshoppingcentre

A post shared by Bernadette Tripoli (@berniebooyeah) on

You should know that you cannot force having a relationship with a woman's kids. However, it is not a bad thing to try to include her kids in your plans. Most men's idea of a romantic date does not include kids. At a given point in the relationship, you will have to start planning family outings. Do not go big like planning a trip to Disneyland. Just start small like going to the circus or zoo after a few months of knowing the woman or ask her for suggestions for places the kids would like to go. For you to make a connection with a woman's kids, you can start by watching cartoons or playing catch as you wait for her to get ready for a date. You should never make it look like you are trying to bribe her kids to like you. If you cannot have a relationship with the kids, then your relationship with the woman will not last for long. You should never forget this tip.

7. The Children's Father Is Part of Her Life

The kids' father will always have a relationship with the woman even if his role is just to pay child support and see his kids on the weekends. You need to come to terms with this and accept it. Do not try to be possessive or macho when you meet the woman's baby daddy. Do not make it a competition. However, this does not mean that you have to be best of friends with him. After all, you are dating and sleeping with a woman he once loved. If you happen to be around him, be confident and respectful. Be casual and not a pushover. This will let him know that you are responsible, trustworthy, and not looking to take up his role in the family. Tread lightly and avoid getting into a competition of who is the best man. You can also ask for suggestions from people you know on how to deal with this situation.

8. Leave If You Do Not Like Kids

Love doing life with my mini’s

A post shared by OLLIEPOP + ME (@olliepop_twins) on

A woman's kids will never go anywhere. When you are dating casually, her kids will be part of her life as well as yours. When the relationship starts to become serious, you owe it to yourself and the woman you are dating to tell the truth how you feel about kids. It is okay to tell the truth that you do not like kids. If you are not ready to start a family or you are not a big fan of kids, just take a step back. There is no shame in walking away and letting her find someone who is ready to take her on with her kids. Just give yourself time and you might start getting an interest in kids and family or find a woman who also does not want kids.

9. Your Relationship with Her Kids Is On the Kids' Terms

"You are not my father!" You have heard this phrase in many movies with teenagers. This is not something you would like to be told in real life. In order to avoid being in the path of a kid's tantrum courtesy of your woman's kid, ensure that the kid is the one driving the relationship. If your woman's kid invites you to spend time with him or her playing catch or playing with Barbie dolls, just do it. Before you go to the kid's game without being invited or buying a gift for him or her, ensure that you are not crossing any boundaries. Ask their mother for suggestions on what present to get the kids. Start acting like a vampire; do not go to places you are not invited.

10. She Is Not Looking To Replace Her Baby Daddy

My tips for packing up a house with a toddler and a newborn; 1. Don’t do it 2. If you have to do it ..try not to . In all seriousness I managed to box up some of our home ready for the big move in 2 weeks👌🏼 Ok it wasn’t completely successful, there was approx; 20 breastfeeding stops 6 nappy changes 1 coffee (yes sad I know) 40 times I asked myself if it was too early for wine ...and only 0.5% of the house packed 🙄 The is the 7th time Ryan and I have moved so safe to say I am a somewhat professional mover however it would be handy if I had clones of myself; One to pack One to move furniture One to do the tip runs One to breastfeed One to entertain and constantly feed the toddler One to clean ...and one to sit in the corner drinking wine and watching the Kardashians (shotgun being that Steph!) Especially since this little sidekick doesn’t seem to be pulling her weight all she does is sleep eat and poop (lazy roommate 😂😂 lucky she’s cute) . . Have you ever moved with kids?

A post shared by Steph Pase (@justanothermummyblog) on

When you are dating a woman with kids, you should never assume that she wants you to be a replacement for her baby daddy. This is the worst thing you could ever do because the opposite is usually true. Your woman is just looking for someone to give her a break from her busy days and make her forget her problems for a while. It is important for people who are dating to be honest with one another and say what it is that they want in a relationship. Dating a single mother is not for everyone. You have to put up with many issues. Only a special man can love a woman with children, let alone the children themselves. Having a woman with her children in your life means that you will get a lot more love than you expected to get. Therefore, go ahead and give it try.

RELATED POSTS