Can A Trial Separation Save Your Marriage

When married couples face hard times in their marriage, they usually consider a trial separation. The couples strive to get space from each other. This is a way of getting away from the irritating behavior of the spouse. Some couples take a trial separation from their marriage to gather their thoughts and emotions. Many couples wonder if a trial separation can save a marriage. Well, the answer is yes. Therefore, the separation should be done in the right manner. When couples decide to have a trial separation, the process should not be done hastily. A trial separation should be the last thing when every other option has failed. When a spouse decides to get a trial separation, the idea is to see how life will be without the other person in their life. At times, it takes a person to step away from their marital problems to see the problem clearly and understand how they have contributed to it. The idea of a trial separation is to re-assess the marriage. You will be able to see it in another perspective and try to come up with new solutions. Couples separate due to different things. In order to work on it, you need to establish what brought the marriage separation. Some couples may need to work on their parenting guidelines. Some may need to work on financial management, while others might need to work on their anger issues or infidelity. This whole thing is about working on being the best version of yourself that you can be. It will make you a good partner to your spouse. A confident person that has fulfilled his or her pursuits has much more to offer to his or her partner. This will only work if both of you are committed to better yourselves. Remember, the main reason for the marriage separation is to bring positive change to your marriage. In order to establish a successful trial separation from your spouse, the two of you must come to an agreement on establishing some guidelines to follow through. You have to ensure that you stick to the guidelines. You might have your own rules. However, there are general rules that you have to consider in order to avoid divorce, and for the trial separation to save your marriage. Consider the following guidelines:

When you decide to have a trial separation from your spouse, ensure that you have an agreement about the timeframe. Let your time apart be less than six months. If you have children, then the timeframe should be less than three months. When both of you have reached an agreement about the time limit, you should take it as an opportunity to re-assess your marriage. You should further look for new solutions to solve your marital problems.If you set a trial separation without having an agreement about the time limit, you might as well proceed with the divorce. Time limits enable a person to solve issues before the deadline.

The main reason for a trial separation is to live as if you are divorced. This means that you have rights to separate your finances. Do not be hasty in closing your accounts yet. However, ensure that you divide the money equally and try to live as if you are divorced. If you have children, you have to make sure that you have an agreement with your spouse on sharing custody. You have rights to have joint custody. You should also live in separate places. However, keep in mind that this is temporary and you are doing it to save your marriage. You both need to have a sense of being apart from each other. Therefore, no sharing of cars, avoid relying on your spouse to support you, and no hooking up occasionally among other things. Do not be tempted to fall back into old habits. This will give you a false sense of what a trial separation means. It will be difficult to solve your marriage issues if you keep on relying on your spouse to support you. Stick to the plan and try to live your life. Be responsible when it is your time to care for the children. This will give you a sense of what life will be like when you are divorced.

A feeling of hate is unavoidable, especially if you are separating because your spouse is seeing someone else. However, you should try to avoid dating as much as possible. It is hard for couples to save their marriage problems when one of you is falling in love with someone else. When some couples separate, they end up dating other people. This technique works at times. It helps them to realize what they have been taking for granted all these years. They also realize that the dating world is no longer fun like it was before. However, this is not among the best techniques to use in order to save your marriage. If you want to have a trial separation, it is wise to seek professional counseling from a marriage counselor individually instead of dating again.

A trial separation must have ground rules to follow. In order for the trial separation to work, you need to stick to the agreements. It is tempting and at times, you might feel like giving in to the temptation. A trial separation is a process where couples must follow the rules to the end to save their marriage. Couples might start missing each other; they might want to call each other and ask for favors, or they might be struggling to keep their end of the bargain. This is a good indication that the trial separation is working. When you find it hard to be alone with many responsibilities to handle, do not be tempted to change the rules. This is your opportunity to learn how life will be without your spouse. Strive to learn from your hardship alone. Re-examine your choice of a trial separation and see if you will cope alone. However, if you are having a hard time with mixed emotions, this is a clear indication that your choice for a separation was the wrong one. You can as well seek professional counseling to help you. Changing the rules halfway through the trial separation will teach both of you a lesson. If you change the rules to make it easier for yourself, then the process will be useless.

Deciding to have a trial separation is a difficult process. Some couples may hate each other or even have mixed emotions about each other. Therefore, in order for the separation to work, regular communication must be maintained. Couples who do not communicate often may start drifting apart. You may decide to let the mixed emotions get in the way, and this may result in a divorce. Talk regularly with your spouse. Discuss your children’s affairs; attend their school meetings together and keep each other updated. This will help your trial separation process succeed. However, do not forget about your separation rules. Maintaining communication does not mean that you start depending on your partner’s support again. Live like a divorced couple but maintain regular communication.

If you decide that a trial separation with your spouse is the best way forward, ensure that you share the same goal. One partner may have a different goal from the other. This will make the trial separation process difficult to handle. If one partner has no plans for reconciliation, this should be communicated right away. Maintaining a sense of false hope while pretending that you are up for a trial separation will only end up hurting your significant other. If you are up to saving your marriage, it is good to be open about it. Let your spouse know what you think before beginning the process.

For the marriage to work again, both parties should agree to seek professional counseling together. Individual counseling should also be done, especially if you are separated. Professional counseling will help save your marriage and even improve it. However, if a spouse does not believe that professional counseling will work, then it is a high time that you decide to divorce. You cannot force your spouse if he or she is not up to it. You have rights to refuse or agree to seek professional counseling. Forcing your spouse will only make things worse.

For the marriage separation to work efficiently, you will need to seek support. It can be a support from a close friend, a clergy member, a professional counselor, or even a parent. This will improve the situation and it might even save your marriage. The mediator should be present at all times. He or she should give sound advice, provide guidance on how to communicate better, and settle disputes. The mediator should have the final say regarding any matter. However, be careful not to seek support from a person who is biased. Couples have rights to choose if they want a mediator or not. If the couple thinks that they will be able to make the marriage separation work on their own, then they should give it a try.

Working on it is the last rule every separated couple should do in order to save their marriage. It does not matter if both of you have followed the correct guidelines for a marriage separation. What matters is whether you are putting some effort to make your marriage work once more. To work on it means that you are putting some effort into both your marriage and yourself. Couples who decide to separate have reached a point in their marriage that they cannot cope with each other. Therefore, this separation is your opportunity to work things out. Thus, we can say that trial separation can actually save a marriage if couples are honest to themselves and to each other. However, if you are trying to split from your spouse in a gentler manner, you should not indulge in a trial separation. Trial separation requires maturity since some partners can be insecure. If you know exactly what you want, then you can use trial separation to solve problems in your marriage, better yourself, and save your marriage.