Are you in a Toxic Relationship?
An unhealthy and toxic relationship can creep into any love story. You might enjoy the idea of your guy being over-protective or that he just loves you too much. But honestly, is it love or control he is trying to gain over you? Sometimes, relationships get complicated when your partner tries you get manipulative and control you. Slowly your life might get miserable but you will never know why. Reasons could be you have a controlling boyfriend or you are stuck with a controlling man. Here are 30 warning signs that say you are in a controlling relationship. Never ignore these characteristics in your guy.
1. Isolated from Friends and Family
Women need family and friends more than a man. Especially to talk your feelings out for moral support or just to know that you have someone always there for you. But if you notice a subtle sign that you are getting isolated from your family and friends, chances are you are in a controlling relationship. Your guy might try to strip down any support you have, be it your mother or a best friend. He will constantly find faults with them and make you turn against them. This way it gets easier for him to have his claws all clasped on you. If you notice this characteristic in your guy chances are it is his controlling behavior over you.
A paragraph. A rant. // . . She described him fluently, as if it were poetry. Knew his soul, perfectly. Every move, every action, every talk, every emotion. She knew and expressed it gracefully. It was as if she had memorised an entire book based on him . It was embossed in her mind and carved in her heart. She knew him bit by bit. Each molecule, every atom. How flawlessly he swayed, how his eyes were a maze to get willingly lost in. People told her that it was an infatuation phase and that it'll pass. But it didn't, because it was true love my honey. He was the sunrise on her darkest day. She was so firm and diligent about him. . . BUT~ She was at fault if she gave up on him, she was at fault even if she kept loving him. Because he stole her heart, only to sympathetically mould it and then shatter it into a million pieces. His charming smile lead to a distracted mind and an out of the way heart. A heart which only knew love,not hate; sweetness and not bitterness; it was only trying to be affectionate and not be a target of another cruel game. His deceiving lies, the promises he knew he'd break, boldly spoken with a confident mouth and brightly lit face, were the ones that left a painful scar, a permanent mark which wasn't vanishing anytime soon, she knew. . . The world was determined that she'd never let his crimes go and she'd walk away like a strong girl. But who knew, that he had the power to defeat her in her own battle with her foolish heart requesting for a rematch, thinking she could fight and win just once. That's what she desires. She was strong only for the world to see, but she knew from the inside that her innocent heart was weak and still ignited every time he was near and breathed. . ~forgottenmagic. . . . . . #writers #poetsofinstagram #writersofinstagram #poets #writerscommunity #reading #reader #bookstagram #book #instagrampoetry #poetry #love #loveislove #heartbreak #friendship #truefriends #wordporn #bookworm #reading #girl #women #cute #couplegoals #sadcouple #poemsporn
2. Criticizing you is a controlling behavior
When in a relationship if you feel you are never appreciated it is a major sign that you are trapped in your guys controlling behavior. Your guy will criticize you for almost everything that you do. Even the little things that you do for him will not be appreciated, rather criticized. He will never make you feel that you have done an amazing job. Rather make you curse yourself for not even making the little things right. At times, you might get depressed for not doing things right and that you are not perfect. Your guy might give excuses that it is done only for the betterment of yourself. These characteristics definitely mean that he is a control freak.
3. Using your Guilt against you
A woman might start to feel guilty when she is blamed for all the mistakes in the relationships because only their mistakes are highlighted. He might make the woman feel guilty so he could use it against her. When there is a guilt feeling there is always an urge to do better, be perfect and prove their love. This helps the controlling man to easily get what he wants. If you notice these characteristics in your guy, it is a clear sign you are stuck in a controlling relationship.
4. Right to Know Everything is a controlling behavior
When you find your guy constantly making you feel that he has the right to know whatever that is happening in your life then odds are you are in a controlling relationship. When your guy is insecure he might get to snoop and spy on you. He might not be comfortable with the idea of you hanging out with your friends. He will demand to know whatever that has happened during your outing. He will make you accept that he does all these just because he loves you so much and is protective of you. This is a crystal clear sign that this is his controlling behavior. Just be ready to run away from him anytime soon, woman!
We all start as strangers, But we just don't sense the danger. Fall so hard, we break our bones, Ruin our heart, turn it into a stone. Compromises made, we've sacrificed. Prices made, mistakes never rectified. Learnt our less now, A perfect charm, broken now, don't know how. Promises broken, secrets kept, Shockingly awaken, we sat and wept. All stares gone, compliments forgotten, those lies then begun, Wishes then thrown, yet hoped for survival in the long run. Became friends again, we made a compromise, For one a gain, but against the other's choice. Friend to bestfriends, or will we be acquaintances, Now marking an end, washed off all the memorable instances. Now clueless about what the future may hold, We were told to be fearless and bold. We were unstoppable, now we came to a halt, Who was responsible? Who was at fault? (Unanswered questions) . ~forgottenmagic. . . . . . #writers #poetsofinstagram #writersofinstagram #poets #writerscommunity #reading #reader #bookstagram #book #instagrampoetry #poetry #love #loveislove #heartbreak #friendship #truefriends #wordporn #bookworm #reading #girl #women #cute #couplegoals #sadcouple
5. Never respects your personal space
When you are trying to figure out your controlling man's behavior, the most obvious sign to look out for is that he will never value your personal space. Whenever you spend time with your friends he might make you feel guilty for not loving your guy much or taking too much alone time for yourself. He will make you feel that you don't value your relationship as he does. Having your own time only strengthens your relationship, but if he doesn't appreciate then it is one of the important signs that you shouldn't ignore.
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6. Possessive and Over Jealous
When your guy gets possessive and over jealous when you talk to your friends or anybody for that matter it might seem normal but something to note for. Being possessive is one of the signs of being in love. But, when it gets too much, you might feel not being comfortable when you are around him. It is because of their sense of insecurity that they treat you or control you so you don't get too attached to someone else. It is an obvious sign of his controlling behavior. If these are the characteristics of your boyfriend, woman, be prepared to leave him anytime soon.
7. Guilty until proven Innocent
Your boyfriend might make you feel guilty even when you don't realize what you have done. He will be a great manipulator. He may even hold proof for the small mistakes that you have done and that he will make you feel guilty for hurting his feelings until you prove yourself innocent. It is his way of making sure that you don't leave him or get attracted to someone else. These are the characteristics that will clearly prove that he is controlling over you. You need to watch out for this behavior in him. This is one clear warning sign that you are in a controlling relationship.
8. Belittling you is a controlling behavior
Your controlling partner might belittle you for your views either on politics, culture or religion. Communication is the key to every relationship, but when you are made to feel silly, stupid and wrong it is not a welcoming behavior. Your boyfriend should make you feel motivated, inspired and loved not depressed and stupid. If you notice these characteristics and signs in your boyfriend, woman, chances are he is actually controlling you. It is high time you realize it.
9. Making you feel unworthy is a controlling behavior
Your boyfriend might make you feel unworthy when you are in a relationship. He might make you feel less attractive, talk down about your professional accomplishments or remind you of your previous failed relationships and how you're lucky to have him. By doing all these they might make you feel that you have to be thankful for having them in your life. You will feel that you are unworthy and that you are with someone way better in your life. This way he will make you want to hold onto him. If you notice these characteristics in your boyfriend chances are he is controlling you. It is time for you, woman, to make your life decision.
10. Will hurt you by teasing you
When in relationship teasing is a sign of showing love to one another. But when teasing, if your boyfriend hurts you or emotionally abuses you, it is a behavior to look out for to know if he is controlling. When you confront him for hurting you by teasing, he will plainly tell you that you are being over-dramatic and that he was just trying to have fun with you. He will make you feel bad for getting hurt and that it was purely meant for fun purposes only. It is one biggest signs that tell you he is controlling. Never ignore this behavior when he hurts you while teasing.
11. Never Listens to Your Opinion
When in a relationship it is important to make your partner feel their opinion is heard. But when you feel that he never listens to you chances are he is controlling. You might notice that he frequently interrupts you when you are trying to express your feelings or opinions. He will give you a vibe that your opinions don't matter and that he is not ready to listen. He will never try to understand your feelings. If this is your boyfriend's behavior then it is one of the clear signs that he is a controlling. Try to avoid this kind of man when you notice these characteristics, woman. It is better to run before it gets too late.
12. Makes you doubt yourself is a controlling behavior
You might have major future plans, but now that your partner makes you feel worthless. There is a huge possibility for you to lose your level of confidence. This will start making you create doubts on yourself whether you can achieve your goals or they are just above your level. You might be losing interest in your goals and that he will make you doubt yourself if you ever were talented. This is an obvious sign that you need to look out for if you think your boyfriend is controlling.
13. Talks a lot
When in a relationship if you find your boyfriend do all the talking and you have to do all the listening that is a sure sign of his controlling behavior. If your partner is controlling he might be an attention-seeker. He will want your attention at all times, so he will do the talking for the most of the time. He might not just talk but will never give you a chance to talk, if that happens in your everyday life, odds are he is controlling over your life.
14. Never Agreeing is a controlling behavior
When in a relationship it is normal to argue over small or big decisions. But what is important is to be rational. You need to value his side of the argument and he yours. If you notice that your arguments have never been heard or even accepted then chances are you are in a controlling relationship. You will note that your controlling partner might never agree to any of your suggestions, ideas or arguments. He might give you some excuses and try to manipulate you by making you feel that your ideas were not worthy. If this is the relationship you are in then, it is time to move on.
15. Useless Talker
When in a controlling relationship you might feel that he might talk a lot about helping you around the house with your everyday chores. But you will notice that he will just be the talker but will never get any work done rather you will be doing all the work alone. He might showcase himself as a great helper and that he has helped you a lot. Well, you know the truth. This is the biggest warning sign for you to understand that you are in a controlling relationship.
16. Always Corrects You
You might find that your controlling boyfriend might always be correcting you. It will be like he is waiting for the right opportunity to find a fault with you and correct you. He might be correcting you even for the smallest things that you do. It might seem to you that he points out your imperfections and that will give you a feeling that your imperfections bother him. This is a crystal clear sign to know whether your boyfriend is controlling in your relationship. Never miss noticing this sign.
17. You boyfriend is Selfish
If you find your partner is being selfish when in a relationship, it is a clear sign you are stuck with a control freak. Love is selfless it is all about giving. But he will just be the contrary. His needs will only matter. What he wants will be a priority. He will never put you first but him. This is an evident sign that he is controlling you in your relationship. Being with a selfish man will make your life a living hell, so it is better to move on.
18. Your Bar is always Raised
When in a relationship, your partner might never be able to appreciate you. Whatever you do it will not be sufficient for him. Even when you have given your best he will never be able to appreciate what you have done for him. The bar to please him will always be raised and it might be never achievable. This is one clear sign to know that you are in a controlling relationship. This is a hard to miss signal and never ignore this behavior in him. This is a great sign that you are in a toxic relationship.
19. Never Coorperates
When in a relationship you need to feel that you are a team and that you are not alone. But when you are with a controlling person, they will never cooperate with you. Any life-changing decisions you need to make they will never try to support you but will lead you. You will never do anything as a team but he will be bossing around you all the time. This is a clear sign that you are in a controlling relationship.
20. He Lies
When in a controlling relationship, your partner might be a great liar. He will make you believe whatever he does is for your own good, that is his way of having you under his control. He will make up lies to cover up when he is caught manipulating. Even when he makes mistakes he will never admit but try to lie and escape. He will blame you to be the reason behind his bad behavior. This is a characteristic of a controlling partner. If you notice this sign with your partner, you are in for bad luck.
21. Is Demanding
When you are in a controlling relationship, you will notice that he might be demanding and be disrespectful to your feelings. You might feel that when his demands are not met you might be facing verbal abuse either directly or indirectly. He might make you feel guilty by manipulating you for not loving him enough. There will be a lot of pressure on you, and you will eventually give in to be at peace. This is one major clue that he is controlling you in your relationship. Never fail to miss this behavior in your partner.
22. Attach Conditions to Love
He will never make you feel loved until you do something precious for him. He will never talk to your friends or family unless you talk to his. Never shops with you unless you go to his favorite game. He trains you this way and makes you believe that love is conditional. Only when all conditions are right you get to be loved. This is a major red flag that he is controlling you in your relationship.
23. Your Needs Never Matter
If you plan for a vacation, he will be the one who gets to choose the place. He will never be interested in knowing what you really want. Buying a house it will be his choice. You might badly need something but he might not approve unless he likes it. If he doesn't like it then, he will give you hundreds of reasons why you shouldn't do that. He will only take his needs into account. Your needs will be of least importance to him. If you find these characteristics in your guy chances are you are trapped in a controlling relationship.
24. Rules differ for you and him
When it comes to love we all know the fact that, All is fair in love. But to him, it will be fair only when he does it. You will find that he will have a certain set of rules and you will have something different. He might be in spending a lot of time with his friends but when you do the same he might get annoyed and might accuse you of not spending time with him. He will never let you use his phone but your phone will always be his. If these are your guy's characteristics then probably you are in a controlling relationship. If you notice this sign in your guy on an everyday basis, make sure to rethink your relationship.
25. He is Mr.Right
Your partner will always be right, at least that is what he will think about himself. Even when he has no knowledge about what you are talking, he will make sure he adds points to it. He will make you believe that whatever he said was right. He will make you believe that he is the most knowledgeable person you have ever met. He will try to get your attention by pretending to be the most talented person. These control freaks are manipulators, you can never win him. He will make you believe what you see. You need to be at your senses to really understand what is going on in your relationship.
26. Always Directs You
You are constantly being directed by your partner. He will never believe that you can get things right. So, he will feel the need to be present there or to direct you over the phone. You might feel that he is more of a supervisor than a boyfriend. You will notice even the small fun things like a playing a game of cards, he will be there to direct you. There will not be a single move that goes unnoticed by him. He might be playing your game as well if you notice. If you note these signs then probably you should make a few immediate decisions to make changes in your life.
27. Never likes to be Ignored
If your controlling partner feels that he is being ignored and that someone else gets all your attention, he gets creepy. He will never appreciate that and you will be in a lot of trouble when you ignore him. Your boyfriend might never be able to stand the thought that you are ignoring him. He might develop hatred towards the other person whom you have given your attention even if it was maybe just this once. Your partner will make you feel that you have not valued your guy or loved him enough as it gets easier for you to ignore him. This is a crystal clear sign you are in a controlling relationship.
28. Waiting to Prove his Point
Now that you have managed to do something that didn't have his approval, you are in for bad luck. Unfortunately, if it goes wrong, you will get to hear his favorite four best words "I Told You So". You can never escape these four words followed by a list of things you should have done. He will wait for an opportunity to prove his point and when the right time comes he will be ready to pounce on you. He will make you miserable and then make you feel you should have never done something without his approval. This is a major red flag that he is controlling you in your relationship.
29. You are never in charge of anything important
When in a controlling relationship you might never be in charge of anything important. Even if it is a huge life-changing decision in your life he will be in charge. He will try and control everything that is happening in your life. Even the important ones he will never let you take care or control them. If this is a current scenario in your relationship then it is high time you evaluate your relationship. This is a major sign that tells you that you are in a controlling relationship. Never ignore this sign.
30. He cripples You
When in a controlling relationship, you will no longer know what you want. Your whole world revolves around him. He will make you believe that no one other than your partner can make you happy. His happiness will be yours and all his wants will be yours. He will be an expert manipulator to make you believe that you are having a fabulous carefree life. You will feel that he treats you like a queen, but the sad truth is he makes you believe that you are leading a happy life. If you observe this sign in your relationship, odds are you are in a controlling relationship.
If you notice many of these characteristics in your boyfriend then it is high time you realize that you are in a toxic controlling relationship. It is wise to talk to your boyfriend about his behavior before it gets too late. You are in luck if he accepts the fact that he is controlling and makes sure that he puts effort to change. But even after confronting him he denies and blames you, it is time to leave this unhealthy relationship and move on. Love must mold you into a better person not break you down. Go ahead and rethink your relationship before he gets a complete hold on you. Move on and create your own love story with the one who deserves you. All the Best!