How do I make him commit?
One of the biggest challenges that women face is to make the man they love commit to them. It can be quite frustrating trying to make a man commit, especially when he keeps giving lame excuses and putting everything off. One of the key things that you need to do is to avoid blaming yourself. Chances are, your man has commitment issues which he is not comfortable talking about. A common mistake that many women make is giving ultimatums to their men. If you are truly in love with someone, you shouldn't be so hard on them. The best thing to do would be to determine the underlying problem and look for a solution, rather than force someone to meet you at the end of the aisle. When a man is scared of commitment, he will not like it when you pressure him. You don’t have to make him feel that just because he is committing to you, he will need to stop doing the things he loves such as watching football, hiking, or even just going out with his boys. The reason why women conclude that all men suck is because they find it difficult to find a man who is ready to commit. You get into a relationship with a man. The relationship goes on for 2 or 5 years and yet he doesn’t seem ready to take it to the next level. You are left wondering what he's waiting for. You want to make him commit but you don’t want to ask him directly. So what should you do? How do you make a man to commit? Here are 20 effective ways that you should consider using.
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Focus on making the relationship better
A lot of women have wrong motives when getting into a relationship. They will start pushing the man to commit immediately after they begin dating him. This only serves to put pressure on him, making him withdraw from you. Before you think about making him commit, focus on making the relationship better. A man will evaluate a relationship according to how he feels at the moment. Before you think of making him commit, take some time to enjoy his presence. Appreciate him for whom he is. He will feel calm, relaxed, and happy, which is what every man wants in a relationship. The more he enjoys your company, the more he will be ready to commit to you.
1. Rock his world to make him commit
This is definitely an important first step. A guy will commit to you only if you are rocking his world. If the only reason why you think the dude should commit to you is because you love him and you believe he should feel the same way, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. The guy needs to be sexually attracted to you. In order for the guy to show commitment to the relationship, he will need to enjoy having you around and feel very good when you are around him. You will also need to feel the same. There is no way that you will commit to someone who hasn’t rocked your world enough. If you are already planning to commit to someone who is not rocking your world, then you will have a hard time in the relationship. There are many people out there who commit as a result of pressure. This doesn’t have to be you. Make sure that you look very attractive. The good news is that this is something mostly within your control. For those things that you cannot control, accept them. There are many women out there who walk around with little self-esteem as they focus only on their own flaws. They are filled with insecurity and this only serves to hide their attractiveness as they feel that they are not good enough for the man they are targeting. Learning to love yourself will help your man fall in love with you too.
2. Let him earn it
Men do not want the easy things in life. They want to see that the things that they work for are worth their time. This is not to say that you will never be rejected. But the moment you manage to wow someone, he will always come back begging for more. Consider what it is that makes the man desire you. You need to offer the man something that is not common if you want him to commit to you, and you alone. Having sex with a man is not enough to make him commit. Other than physical looks, consider what else you bring to the table to make the man commit.
3. Make things fun and light
In order for the man to fully commit to the relationship, you will need to make the relationship look fun. No man wants to be in a relationship with a woman who is glum, dull, and full of lots of negative emotions. This means that when the two of you go out together, ensure that you engage in something that's fun! It could be a friendly bowling match or watching the latest movies together. When the man associates you with all kinds of fun, he will not be afraid to commit to the relationship.
4. Show less interest
If you are trying to make a dude commit, you're probably working very hard to ensure that he starts dating you. When the phone rings, you immediately pick it up. When he asks you out, you cancel any plans you had with your girlfriends. Whenever he asks to see you, you stop whatever you are doing to go to him right away. You might think that you are showing him love, but you will only be pushing him away. The truth is that you need to show less interest in him. This is a trick that may look like it defeats the purpose of why you are getting into a relationship with a guy. However, showing less interest in a guy is one of the easiest ways of making him commit. If you are leaving no stone unturned in your efforts to make a guy commit to you, he will smell this from a kilometer away. He will be turned off by your desperation and will start looking for ways to get rid of you. Rather than being clingy and needy, you ought to start being a little more independent. The moment you show less interest in him, he will start fighting harder to gain your attention and he will be looking for a way to take the relationship to the next level. However, you need to do more than just lose interest in him. Engage in activities that will help you to take your mind off from him. Become busy with school or work, don’t contact him regularly, and avoid responding instantly to his calls and messages. He will start wondering what happened that made you stop contacting him. In order to make a guy show more interest in you and start dating you seriously, you will need to remove the focus on him and instead focus on yourself. Don’t try too hard to please him. Never cancel any plans you had to spend time with him. Ensure that you make yourself unavailable at times. When you cater to all his needs, this will turn you into a doormat and he will not commit to you. Take time to engage in your hobbies. Schedule some time to be alone, go to the gym, or reconnect with your buddies. All this will take the pressure off of him and he will be more eager to commit to you.
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5. Be a friend to his friends
Guys will seek the approval of their friends before they can commit to a woman. (Most women don’t know this!) Dudes consider this to be quite important as they want to know whether the people who are closest to them approve of their relationship. The moment his friends start finding you rude and annoying, that's when he'll start backing off and he will run away from you for good. Avoid putting on a fake persona as they will see you right through you. The most important thing is to be cordial, friendly, and laugh and smile at the jokes that his friends make. Be sure that you are friends with his girl friends too. If you can manage to leave a good impression on his friends, they will have more than enough love for you. They will actually push him to commit to you and this will take the pressure of working too hard away from you.
6. Become part of his life to make him commit
If your guy is delaying a lot in taking the relationship to the next level, there is a simple method you can use to speed things up. Why don’t you act as if you're already the woman in his life? Make sure that you play your cards well when doing this to avoid scaring away the guy. Rather than coming off too strong and being around him 24/7, you will need to integrate into his life slowly, but in a way that he finds life boring without you. A good way of doing that is by consistently texting or calling him every day. Make sure that you send him good morning texts or even put an alert on your phone that will remind you to call him every night. It will eventually get to the point when he'll always be on the lookout for your check-ins every day. You can then switch things up so that you don’t call or text him for two days in a row. The guy will be left wondering what is going in your life and what happened to your daily contact. This is when he'll realize that you've become an important part in his life and he really misses those daily phone calls and text messages.
7. Take time away from him to make him commit
When you are in love with someone, it's natural to want to spend a lot of time with them. However, the fact is that spending a lot of time with someone will tend to backfire on you if your goal is to be in a relationship with him. In case you want the guy to commit to you, you will need to make yourself scarce. Put a stop immediately to everything that you are doing together and stay away from him. Your goal is to pull away from him in order to leave him craving for you. This technique will not only leave him thirsting for you but it will also make him wonder if there's another guy in your life. This is also when he will realize how much he misses having you around. He will not want to risk having another guy swooping in and stealing you away. It will only be a matter of time before he makes everything official.
8. Be mysterious to make him commit
If you leave everything out in the open for the guy, he will not feel the urge to be in a serious relationship with you. If you want to make the guy commit, you will need to intrigue him. A good way of doing this is by remaining mysterious. Avoid telling him everything about yourself immediately. Learn how to hold back and only share information about yourself in pieces. If you want to put pressure on him to commit, never over-share anything. Do not ramble on about your childhood stories and avoid telling him what you are doing at every hour of every day. Ensure that there is something that you are holding back from him to put the pressure on him to commit. The guy will realize that in order to peel back all the layers and get to know the real you, he will need to take another step and ask to be exclusive.
9. Don’t talk about it
Listen, your friends and co-workers, lab partners, neighbors, and baristas at the local hotel have no interest in hearing about your relationship. The more you complain about how he won't commit to you, the more the stress will weight you down. When you focus a lot on a person, this can drive you insane. You will spend too much energy going through the last conversation you had with him, what he is doing right or wrong in the relationship, who he might be with, and what he thinks about you. This is not only unhealthy, but it will also not get you any closer to your goal of being in a committed relationship. When you overthink the relationship, you will become needy and clingy, putting the pressure on yourself. The guy will quickly sense this. This will be a huge turn off for him and he will no longer be interested in dating you.
10. Don’t ask him to commit
A common mistake that women often make is constantly asking the guy they are dating to commit. Putting pressure on him won’t make him budge. Trying to force him into a relationship with you will only serve to turn him off. He will realize that your goal is not to be in a loving and healthy relationship but to have a relationship just for the sake of not being single. You can be assured that this will be met with a lot of resistance. Every time you bring up this issue, you will find him pulling further and further away from you. If you're interested in making the guy date you, stop asking him to commit. Ensure that you drop the topics of commitment or dating from your conversations with him. If you want him to start seriously dating you, you will need him to think that going steady was all his idea.
11. Go on an adventure
You will not need to fly all the way to Paris in order to make him commit to you. However, going away on an adventurous vacation will go a long way in making him interested in you. During the time that you'll be away, he's going to go crazy wondering whether you are out there hooking up with other dudes. You can also send him a text or a cute Snapchat to let him know how much fun you're having without him. He's going to begin feeling the pressure to win your heart and he will start working extra hard to make you his girlfriend.
12. Keep him guessing
On top of being mysterious, you will need to keep the dude guessing on whether you want to start dating him. In other words, avoid being dull and focused on only one routine. Do not be predictable in everything you do. Instead, shake things up regularly so that he doesn't know what to expect. You can keep him guessing about the plans you have. You can also try out a new hairstyle or wear a sexy outfit that will draw his attention to you. The moment he sees you shaking things up, he will no longer mess around with you. Mystery is among the most feminine things that men find attractive. Even when you share some information with your special person, you will still want him to be curious about the others. This will not only heat things up but it will make him look forward to engaging in more activities with you. Maintain your distance and attend events without him, or even letting him that you're going. After all, you are still not in a committed relationship with him.
13. Have other options to make him commit
Take note that before he comes out and openly tells you that he wants to date you, you shouldn’t stop dating other men. Even if you aren’t interested in other guys, make sure that your options remain open. When you keep yourself busy with other men, this will take some pressure off your shoulders and help you relax. You will not waste your time thinking about him. You will not keep on worrying about when he will take the relationship to the next level. He will notice that you aren’t as available as you were before and this will add the right amount of pressure on him. His main concern will be that another guy will win your heart before he does and this will make him commit to you.
14. Focus on making him a better man
Men are very competitive and love feeling like true winners. The moment a guy finds a woman who inspires him to become a winner, he will conclude that he has found a woman who is not only different but is worth dating. He will feel as if he has finally found the woman he has been searching for and he will do everything to keep her in his life.
15. Avoid using sex as a weapon to make him commit
If you are looking for a way to make a guy commit to you, avoid using sex. This is usually manipulative. Sleeping with him with the hopes that he will commit afterwards will only serve to push him away from you. This is not a good start for a healthy relationship and it could even backfire badly.
16. Be the person he was initially attracted to
You will need to ensure that not only are you maintaining a healthy weight by eating right and getting some exercise, but you are also taking good care of yourself mentally. This will go a long way in helping you to get the attention of your partner. However, you will need to avoid making physical self-improvement as you try to attract your partner. He started going out with you for a reason. It's good to change for the better, but if you become unrecognizable to him he may no longer want to commit to you.
17. Don’t try to change who he is
There are many girls who fall in love with a man with the idea of making him become a better person. This is not what a man wants in a relationship! If you really want to be in a relationship with him, you should accept him for who he is. While there is nothing wrong in helping a person become better, you will need to let him do that at his own pace and style. However, if you consistently try to mold your man into a different person, you can just forget about him ever committing to you.
18. Avoid issuing ultimatums to make him commit
The moment you start issuing ultimatums in a bid to make him commit to you, you will only serve to hurt one another. When something is done under duress, it will only fail. This is especially true in relationships. To avoid having a disastrous relationship, don’t force the other person to do something that he is not interested in. Giving ultimatums should not be anywhere on the list of things you need to do in order to make him to commit.
19. Don’t act like a wife to make him commit
Women have a tendency to go all out in a relationship. In case you want a man to commit to the relationship, avoid giving him everything all at once. If you just started dating him, why would you go out and act like his wife? Unless the guy says he's ready to be your husband, there is no reason why you should give him husband benefits. This sort of behavior may cause him to start taking you for granted, knowing well that you are giving him everything before you even agree on commitment.
20. Welcome any talk on commitment
While your man may not seem ready to commit, you should not shut down any relationship-related conversations that he may be trying to initiate. In fact, you need to be ready because he may bring up the commitment talk at any moment. While you will need subtlety to make a man commit, you should also be ready to discuss the things that matter with your man.
Final thoughts on making him commit
Once you have managed to make a man commit, it will be possible for you to clearly see the direction the relationship is taking. You will feel secure and safe knowing that there is someone that you can rely on. You two will also have the opportunity to enjoy real intimacy.