10 Things That DON'T Mean You're Falling Out Of Love

That you are experiencing any of the 10 things listed in this piece does not mean that you are falling out of love. Here's the meaning of falling out of love.

By Emmanuel Onitayo
10 Things That DON'T Mean You're Falling Out Of Love

"Falling Out Of Love": Meaning & Overview

Interestingly, many phrases have become so popular today that their real meaning and weight have been watered down if not lost completely. For example, when a person says they are falling (or in some cases, have fallen) out of love, the chances are that they really do not mean that they "hate", "despise", or "abandon" the individual they are apparently out of love with.

In most cases, what they meant to say is that they are no longer feeling the initial chemistry that took over their sense of justice and clarity when they first started their relationship or marriage. They could feel that there is a loss of connection and maybe excitement somewhere and because they cannot seem to explain what has befallen them, to them,  it must surely be that they are no longer in love.

This is rather hasty because many otherwise happy and blooming couples have hastily filed the court papers because of their erroneous belief and comprehension of what true love actually is. Love is not only about how you feel towards the other person; it is a willing desire and commitment on your part to give all of yourself unreservedly to another with or without the ecstatic feeling often witnessed with the in-love phenomenal.

Truth be told, if many of us understood what love actually is, perhaps only a few would still continue to use the clause "I love you" which has become a cliche today. In the true sense, we hardly fall in love. And if we don't fall in love, it may not be possible to fall out of it. True love is never an accident and it takes time to develop between any two persons. As such, if it must end, it equally takes time.

That aside, love is like a coin with two sides. And depending on which side of it you are facing, your story might differ from that of your friends or colleagues. On one side of love, you may find things rosy, smooth, and boisterous; whereas, on another side, it might be tough and full of sacrifices and challenges. So, if you have always thought that love is all sweet, experiencing its other side can make you to erroneously conclude that you are probably "falling out of love."

So, in this piece, we shall briefly list out the "bitter" realities of being in love that does not necessarily mean that you have fallen out of it. Hopefully, this would lay your fears to rest and help you manage your relationship better.

Things That Don't Mean You're Falling Out Of Love

1. The Kisses Have Reduced

Perhaps you and your partner have always smothered each other with plenty of kisses prior to or at the beginning of your marriage; but now, it's like you are struggling to kiss him or her even once in a week. As painful as the experience may be, it is never a definitive reason that you have fallen out of love with your wife or husband.

Several reasons aside from falling out of love can account for the reduced romantic experience between you and your husband, wife, or spouse. Either of you may be undergoing an emotional challenge or the everyday demand of work and family can be the reason you are not having the kisses as regular as before.

With the right communication skills and adequate planning, you can always get your much-desired kisses back. Keeping mute on something that has so much meaning to you will eventually do more damage than good in the end. So, let your partner know that you want those regular kisses back.

2. You Now See Their Faults Clearly

If anything, the fact that you can now clearly identify the faults of your wife, husband, or lover shows that you are now beginning to understand the real meaning of love. Contrary to most people's belief, love is actually not blind. In fact, in Will Moss's view, "It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."

So, the fact that you can now see clearly how terrible her culinary skill is or how detrimental his not having a credible job is to your relationship does not mean that you have ceased to love them. While this can seriously pose some challenge to your being together, your acknowledgment of them shows that you are rational and sensible and not that you have ceased to love them.

Usually, with things working well, the vibe between you can come back and you would have no problem staying together for as long as you wish. Love does not hide its eyes from a partner's weakness(es); it sees it but just that it doesn't dwell on it.

3. You Feel Attracted To Someone Else

Again, it's good you know that being in a relationship or marriage with someone does not inactivate your hormones or senses; you are still that same man or woman capable of appreciating beauty when and where it is found. As such, that you are finding another person's wife or husband attractive does not necessarily mean you have fallen out of love with yours.

Granted, this sign can be tricky in that it often plays out when a person has ceased to love their partner; but then, unless you have allowed this feeling to hinder you from your statutory duty to your spouse or partner as the case may be, it is not a sufficient reason to fear you are falling out of love. What you have to do is direct the feeling of attraction back to your partner and resist the temptation acting based on your feelings.

4. Drop In Intimacy

Forget all those fantasies you had in your head before marriage; the reality is that as you progress in your relationship, the day-to-day cares may relegate sex to a position it was not before you met. You would just discover that many things other than intimacy matter more to the upkeep or either your relationship or home.

However, if this inadequate intimacy with your partner is becoming an issue too big for you to ignore, why not talk things out? You both can reach a reasonable compromise and agree on schedules that would restore your once-glorious bedroom experience.

5. You Need Some Private Time For Yourself

You see, what you may not know is that true love does not make you an extension of your spouse; instead, it preserves your individuality. With time, you would want to be all by yourself either to meditate, rest, or just to be alone. This does not on its own accounts to you falling out of love.

Love is not about hanging around your partner's neck all the time or expecting that they do same. It can survive the temporary separation that works and our individual schedules may bring along our paths.

So, your spouse wanting some time for themselves is normal even in a relationship where love holds sway. You can only begin to worry when over time, they (or you) have become very comfortable with being alone always.

6. You Feel Bored

A post shared by Lenita A (@lenitamelij_) on

It is perfectly normal to feel bored with an activity you have always been doing over and over again. Love relationships such as marriage have been equated by many as an institution you enter and never graduate. If you have walked down the aisle with your partner, one thing you would definitely experience with the passage of time is boredom,

That again does not necessarily mean that there is something you are not doing right. Boredom is simply part of life and rather than seeing it as a weakness or sign of falling out of love, you should enjoy it. Many scientists confess that their greatest inspirations come when they are bored. Love does not overwhelm other feelings such as boredom.

7. Your Interests Now Seem To Differ

Recall that during your in-love days, each person seems to bury what matters to them in the name of loving the other. Let's say he likes soccer and you do not seem to approve of it especially when he would always get back home late because of the game. Then, to prove a point, he might have reduced or seemed to drop his passion for the game.

But now, that you have both matured in love, he would need to revert to his original self. This can be true of you too. Love does not deprive partners of things that make them happy. In fact, as you grow in love, each person would seem to develop more confidence in the other which in turn, would allow them to follow their interest without any fear. They haven't fallen out of love with you; they have only come to live out their real self.

8. Dates Now Become Scarce

🌸 @ashleighcamille 🌸

A post shared by #ambw #awbm #awbw #ambm (@blasian.couples) on

That you are not frequently going out on dates like before is not sufficient a reason to conclude that you have fallen out of love. Frequent dates are common when couples are still trying to know each other, but when assurances of love have been established, other things begin to take priority in each person's life over everyday dates.

Rather than becoming resentful over what you think as an irregular love outing, you should talk with your partner and plan and sort things out. Even in love, every day is not Christmas.

9. The Gifts Have Reduced

If you no longer receive as many gifts as you once used to from your partner, many things other than them falling out of love with you can be responsible. They may be financially constrained or feel that their presence with you is enough a gift.

As such, it is good to confirm what has happened lately that they have stopped giving gifts like it once used to be. The chances are that your partner might not know. So, instead of thinking "he's probably out of love," find out things yourself.

10. They Now Get Home Late

This can be due to a serious business meeting they have been having lately and not necessarily because they have fallen out of love with you. Except there has been a major fight between you and your partner, it is normal to see them walk in late sometimes. Love requires that they work hard to keep the family going.

Out Of Love Meaning - Conclusion

A proper perspective of the genuine meaning of love is necessary to lead a healthy relationship life. Before you conclude that you are falling out of love or thinking your partner has fallen out of love with you, it is always good to get a balanced view of what their state of mind is at that time as well as the prevailing circumstances. Sometimes, what looks like an out of love affair may just be a test of the moment.


Popular on Panda Gossips