What is the definition of a Casual Relationship?
Defining a casual relationship could prove hard because the word "casual" could be open for a lot of interpretations. For some, It could mean multiple partners, for others a casual relationship is the same as "friends with benefits".
Usually, the term "casual" is used to refer to something that's "low-commitment" and free of expectations. So a casual relationship is one where there are no long terms commitments toward the relationship. It could be that the people involve in this kind of relationship are just in it for the moment, until something or someone better comes along.
All relationships are different, they're base on what the two people involved expect from each other, so if both parts are clear that they don't have any expectations about the relationship, this could be defined as a casual relationship.
For some people, a casual relationship means that they are in a relationship where they care deeply about the person they're with, without being exclusive or having any expectations for the future.
This kind of relationship could revolve around sex, but it's not restricted to it. you can talk to this person about anything and you have a great time each time you're together. The term casual in this case is to convey the relaxed boundaries of the relationship.
You're looking for something like this? Or are you involved in this kind of relationship? Then keep reading, we're sure there's something useful for you here.
What are the rules of a Casual Relationship
All relationships have some kind of drama and casual relationships are not the exception. Actually, they could have a lot of drama if both parts don't make clear from the beginning what is it they want from the relationship.
If you're looking to have or are in a casual relationship, and you want to avoid having a nasty blowup, we would like to suggest that you both state some rules (well, a lot of them, but we'll just give you some important ones). This set of rules could make the relationship work if you really stick to them.
1. You're not each others priority
This first one is a little confusing but bear with us. One very important rule of a casual relationship is that you need to be conscious or understand that it's not a relationship. You are not a priority for this person, so don't prioritize him.
Your relationship is casual for a reason (you're not in the right place, he is not "the one", you just want some fun) and he's the same, so don't expect the perks of a committed relationship, like romance or exclusiveness.
2. Don't "catch any feelings"
In a casual relationship, you need to avoid "catching feelings", because if one part of the relationship does, there's a big chance of getting hurt.
To avoid this you'll have to decrease the actions that cause the increase of oxytocin (that hormone that makes you feel like you're falling in love), like pillow talk, or cuddling or prolonged eye contact, anything that can add a bonding to the relationship.
3. Make sure you're both on the same page
Casual relationships have some assumed guidelines that each part follows, but have in mind that each person could have their own ideas of what a casual relationship is.
To avoid confusions or heartache, you need to sit down with the other person to talk and together define the relationship so you're both on the same page.
4. Always be truthful about your feelings
If during the time you're in the relationship something is not working, say it up front. The same goes if you found yourself falling in love, especially if the other person has clearly stated that he was not looking for a serious relationship. Respect each one's decisions and accept them.
How to start a long term Casual Relationship
After some thought, you have decided that you don't want a serious relationship for a long time yet, commitment is not for you, so casual dating it is. But, how to start a long-term casual relationship?
Always remember that you're dealing with a person, so it's not OK to play with his expectations or mistreat his emotions. Both parts should be aware of this and you two should establish from the beginning the outsets of the casual relationship and that neither of you is expecting more of it.
Be honest with yourself and with the other half, set the boundaries each of you is Ok with and stick inside those boundaries. If you do this from the beginning the odds of a long-term casual relationship are good.
10 Ways to Keeping the Relationship Casual
Casual relationships might not be for everyone, it requires a certain maturity and responsibility. So here are 10 ways you can make it work, maybe one of them will prove useful to you.
1. Weekends only
This "rule" is very important, you don't want to make plans with your casual relationship during the week, use this time to focus on work or an important project you're involved in. You can keep the communication in the form of texts, but the boundary of "only weekends" should be a solid one.
Keeping it casual doesn't mean that you're not going to talk about important stuff like each one's expectations or when one of you crosses a boundary already established. Any relationship requires a great deal of communication so that everyone is on the same page. It's easier said than done, but you have to do it.
3. Unpredictability is necessary
Keep trying things you wouldn't try otherwise. that's one thing about casual relationships: they allow you the liberty to go for it.
4. Keep your weekends open, don't plan around them
You'll be setting yourself for failure, remember that it's a casual thing so don't go making plans thinking about him, Keep your weekend nights open and see where that goes.
5. Don't make him go to events you wouldn't want to go if you were on his shoes
Draggin him to a holiday party (for example) that he doesn't want to go is definitely a strict 'no-no'. In a casual relationship, this should not be mandatory it should be fully optional, and you have to accept and respect his decision, it should work both ways. Again, easier said than done, but if you want to keep it casual, this is key.
6. It's more about being comfortable than getting comfortable
What is the difference, you ask? Well, when you're in a casual relationship you get to enjoy spending time with someone you enjoy and are attracted to but aren't ready to share your deepest secrets. So just be yourself, you can share your guilty pleasure like you love to watch The Bachelor, but avoid any sharing that will supersede the boundary agreement.
7. Jealousy...try to be cool about it, if you can't, do something
You have to be cool (or at least pretend) if he's talking or chatting with someone else, that's key in a casual relationship. If you find yourself unable to be cool about it, you need to do something, take action.
You have two options: You either end the relationship or you tell him how you feel. Second option sounds kind of scary and crazy (because of the casual thing) but it may actually work.
8. Avoid relationship milestones
If you want to keep the relationship casual avoid things like meeting your friends or your family. In this kind of relationship, you have your friends and he has his friends, don't try to cross the streams there, it could be confusing. Keep the relationship strictly about you and him, you have fun together but you have separate lives too.
9. Establish and maintain strong boundaries
This is crucial if you want to maintain your relationship casual, it helps keep the lines of acceptable behavior clear, reduces chances of sending mixed messages and hurt feelings.
10. Accept that it's going to end
Casual relationships are fleeting, that's why you're in one right? So you have to acknowledge that eventually, you're going to move on with your life and so is he.
Will a Casual Relationship ever become serious?
Wondering if your actual casual relationship can turn into a serious one? Bottom line, it is possible. Actually, a lot of couples have stated that they started as a casual relationship and they build from there. The casual relationship provided them with a strong foundation for a healthy and long-lasting relationship.
Sounds like something you want to try? The most important thing you need to do is establish if he wants the same thing.
The best way to do this is by actually saying it, Don't try to guess or assume, You set boundaries and expectations from the very beginning, if something has changed for you and you want to change the rules of the game, you need to address it with him to be sure he's on the same page.
After talking about it and finding out he wants to get serious too, you need to spend more time together doing activities that you avoided during the casual phase, like going on actual romantic dates or spending time with each other's friends or families.
Now it's the time to talk about feelings, so tell each other how you feel and go from there.
We hope this article was helpful in regards to your actual social status. Casual relationships are very common nowadays and if it is something you want to pursue, take note of all the rules and little tidbits in this article so that you can have a successful one.