12 New Relationship advices for new couples in love

You're starting a new relationship, that's awesome! There are butterflies in your stomach, and it seems that you're flying not walking and everything is just peachy. You want to be with him all the time and you carry little heart in your eyes. Being in a relationship is wonderful right? but it can also be a breeding ground for anxious thoughts and feelings.

When anxiety kicks, you start to question everything. Relationship anxiety is pretty common and it can arise at any stage in your relationship and sabotage it. What is causing that anxiety? How can you cope with it successfully?

Love can challenge you in so many ways you don't expect. The more you value or love a person the more you stand to lose and basically you're afraid of getting hurt. When you start a new relationship, the thing that makes you anxious is not just what happens between you and him, it's that mean coach inside your head that loves to criticize you. Have you met him? We'll call him your "critical inner voice."

He's the one telling you that "You're too ugly or boring or fat to keep his interest" or "you can't trust him" or that "he doesn't love you". See, he's really mean and can make you turn against you and in this case, against him. You can't let him do that right? So how can you fight him? What can you do to cope with this new relationship anxiety?

Go inside your head and instead of asking "What if" start to ask "What is". The "What if" thinking is what produces your anxiety, it takes you into a pretend place in the future full of fear. If you use the "What is" thinking you'll be placing yourself and this new relationship in the present and this will allow you to see it and your anxiety for what it truly is.

You'll see that all those stories happening inside your head are just that, unproductive noise that your head (helped by the mean coach) loves to weave to make you doubt yourself and sabotage all the good things that happen in your life.  

Maybe during the asking of "What is" you notice something that needs to be check, like "Am I a different person when I'm with him?". Just to be sure, go on and ask a good friend for her input, if her answer is "No, you are totally yourself when you're with him", then move on, that was just in your head. 

As they say "don't put all your eggs in one basket". Ok, you're starting a new relationship and you need to focus on it so that all goes well. That's good to a point, it's a good thing that you're working to make things work, but don't forget that you are an individual too, so you need to keep your own full life.

Putting all your attention on the new relationship is not a healthy thing to do, so keep your friends, find a hobby, work hard, exercis...keep busy. 

All relationships have stages. Wouldn't it be great to have like a love map to guide us through each stage? Many of the stages regarding new relationships are based on hormones and body chemistry. 

These are 5 stages that almost all couples go through during a new relationship, take a look.  

This is the getting to know phase, your brain fights a war with your heart because you don't want to become committed too fast. Butterflies in the stomach are good and exciting but don't let them obscure your perspective. Is he someone you see yourself with long-termed? 

Now you're getting to know him and after a few months, you discovered that he gets on your nerves! That's a good thing, it means that you now know that he's not perfect and nor are you. Recognizing that you and him are two very different people is a good thing. In a relationship, you have to accept the whole person with the good, the bad and the weird. This stage is good for that. 

This is the stage where all parts of your life have to be in the mix, you have work, social obligations and now him. Maybe some days you'll feel like things are not great because you can´t see each other as often as possible, but that's a good thing because for things to work, your relationship has to blend with your everyday life. You'll learn to trust him without the constant contact. 

Comfortable doesn't mean that romance is out the door, all positive qualities of your significant other will come back and will reaffirm your decision to date this person. This stage helps to strengthen the new relationship so you both could make a conscious decision to commit to each other.  

This is the final stage on your new relationship journey. The stage of true love, where you make decisions as a couple, you look out for each other's best interest. You have became a team.  

There's a got to be compatibility in a relationship, otherwise, it could fall down. We're not saying that you have to agree on everything, after all, you're two very different people, but there's got to be a common ground from where to build. 

That is why asking questions is important in a new relationship, that's a good way to start an important conversation where you'll get to know about him and he you because it has to be a two-way conversation.

Here are some questions you should ask each other, goes without saying that honesty is a must when answering. 

• What did you learn from your last relationship?

• What do you like to do to have fun or relax?  

• Are you OK with PDA (public displays of affection)?

• Do you like to read? What's your favorite book?

• Do you like to dance? What music do you prefer?

• Do you like spending time with your family?

• What would be your ideal date?

• Have you traveled a lot? What's your favorite place?

• Do you like what you do? Do you like your job?

• Are you happy? Did you have a happy childhood? 

• What are your views about marriage? 

• Do you like kids? Do you have any?

• Are you religious? Do you practice a religion?

New relationships are full of potential and possibilities and discoveries, it's the "honeymoon stage" and you should be able to enjoy it. Enjoy getting to know him and spend time together and less time stressing. 

Maybe you need some advice on how to accomplish all that, here are 12 tidbits that we hope you can use. 

Don't bring all those fears and concerns and negative experiences to this new relationship, especially on those first dates, Keep the focus on him on the possibilities and potential you see there. Interrogations about past relationships are not recommended on both sides.  

You're in this relationship because you like this person, right? Then why would you compare what you have with him or him with your past relationship? It won't do you any good. This is a fresh start, so be in the present. 

There will be disagreements, that's totally normal because you don't have to agree or see things that same way (that would be kind of boring). If you hit a rough patch, walk through it, talk about it don't throw away the relationship. 

Don't become a stalker, that is not cool. Remember that you both have separate lives and you should live them that way so that when you get together you'll have something to talk about, to share. 

Talk is easy, but actions really say a lot. You need to back your words with actions, otherwise, there'll be a hole in your relationship. That goes both ways. 

Being vulnerable is scary for most people, it opens you to get hurt and nobody wants that. But if you want to build trust and deepen the connection with him, you'll have to do it. It would be much appreciated, you'll see. 

If you don't like something he did or said, say it out loud, (not in a screaming way), just don't keep quiet to "keep the peace". That is how you establish boundaries so that he knows to respect them. It's the healthiest way to navigate a new relationship. 

That goes both ways, if you're with each other is because you like each other right? Then why the bragging? You don't have to continually impress each other, just be proud of who you are without the need to list all your life's accomplishments. 

Don't excuse it either. You can try to change his bad behavior by offering him positive reinforcement, but if that doesn't work, if nothing is changing, just say goodbye. 

As a new couple, you'll want to spend all your free time together, that's normal just don't start making demands on his time or restricting him from doing things he was doing before you started dating. Constant calling and texting will stress him and could alienate him. 

Don't drop everything to be with him, it may set the wrong expectations. Spend time with your family and if you made plans to hang with friends, honor them.  

Have you noticed that all promises he made are not becoming a reality? Maybe you wait for a little after talking to him to see if anything changes, if nothing does then don't waste time there, you have a life to live. 

That means you need to listen when he talks about important things in his life, ask questions about those topics and show some curiosity. Those actions are building blocks of a good relationship. That should work both ways. 

New relationships are exciting, full of discoveries and give you butterflies in the stomach. At the same time, they can be stressful too, keep in mind all we talked about here so that if you found the right guy you don't mess things up.