5 Factors that determine Relationship Compatibility

The Cambridge Dictionary defines compatibility as ‘The fact of being able to exist, live, or work successfully with something or someone else’.

Compatibility is the cornerstone of any relationship be it familial, friendship or a romantic one where two individuals voluntarily come together with the intention of spending their lives together as life partners. Without compatibility, it is safe to say that a relationship will be a challenging one.

Man is a social animal. We were never meant to be alone which is why we gravitate toward others to form relationships. It is about being accepted and accepting. In a non-familial relationship, more often than not, it always starts with forming friendships before getting deeper into a personal one.

On introspection, you will realize that you like your friend because you’re compatible. Would you knowingly seek to spend time with them if you were not compatible? If this is just for a normal friendship, then think about how important compatibility is between two people planning to spend their lives together.

If you are not sure of your compatibility with someone you like and want to pursue a relationship read on to know more about the 5 factors you should look for to find your compatibility quotient with that someone special.

Do you find yourself constantly thinking of someone? Do you find yourself replaying a past conversation you’ve had with them over and over in your head? Do you look forward or are impatient to see them again?

If you answer positively to these questions then yes, there is something there. It is not just physical attraction that draw two people together sometimes it is how you two look at and perceive the world.

This goes without saying.

Common interests is what that will keep your conversations and your relationship going. A couple who have forged a bond but have no common interests whatsoever will struggle to spend quality time together as time goes on.

Common interests can be a fondness for arts, music, cooking, sports and such. This doesn’t mean that you have to both like the exact same things. Interests can be different and as long as they complement each other, there is no reason why the relationship will not thrive.

Intellectual compatibility is very important as a disparity here can eventually lead to problems later on in the relationship.

Generally, people who are more or less on the same intellectual page, are the ones who will have engaging conversations. It is also true that when a highly intellectual or educated person partners with another person who is not equal, it eventually leads to a lack of respect and subsequent boredom in later years.

Different people have different values. Generally, the people we get along with shares the same values as we do. These values can be moral, religious or anything basically to do with the way one conducts their day to day living.

Values are generally instilled in us as a result of our upbringing. They may change as we get older but what is relevant here is that two people with polarized values can never get along.

For instance, a couple planning to share their life together need to be agreeable on matters such as religion. A devout person in a long term relationship with an atheist will find the relationship stifling and restrictive especially if it is also a dominant-submissive partnership. This brings us to the final factor in our compatibility list.

We all have our own temperaments and our unique way of handling our emotions. No two people are alike. It is imperative that people who are seriously contemplating a future together observe how they both react to things happening around them. 

Being emotional isn’t a bad thing by itself, but being overtly so can be a recipe for disaster. It can be argued here that people who have opposite temperaments usually tend to click with each other. If one person is emotional, it helps to have the other partner to be somewhat practical so as to appease the other’s fears and soothe their fraught emotions.

It is also true, however, that if both are extremely opposites then it will cause the overtly emotive person to pull away from the other partner who has a tendency to never express theirs.

Look out for these five signs if you want to find out how compatible you are to the one you love:

Life can be a lot easier when both partners work toward achieving the same things in life. If not, you can compare it to two horses tethered to each other but trying to gallop in two different directions. What utter chaos and confusion that would bring! 

It is best before you commit to a relationship to test the waters and find out if you and your love are both looking to head in the same direction. 

Finances play a big role in the outcome of a relationship; especially a long term one. If you are a frugal person finding yourself getting attracted to a spendthrift then it would be a wise decision to take a call on your compatibility.

If you find even the thought of losing your loved one unbearable on account of this incompatibility, another option is to sit down with your love and have an honest talk about how this may potentially affect your future and decide upon the best path to work your way through it. 

Intimacy is a very personal issue and may be one of the last things you may come to know about your partner. Chances are that you may even be seriously dating by this time but knowing where you stand with your partner on this will lead to a more balanced relationship in the future.

If you and your partner are poles apart on intimacy issues such as fidelity in your relationship, for instance, it is best to let the curtains drop on the relationship before it is too late. 

The world we live in today is a global one. People are traveling like never before and internet savvy than ever before. This opens all kinds of possibilities as opportunities for new friendships and relationships  have opened out. It is not very uncommon to see people who’d otherwise never have met, get involved as a result of this.

Partners with very similar or at least complement thinking or background best survive and thrive in such a relationship. Look out for signs of incompatibility. If you are a family oriented person but your love interest is someone who doesn’t take kindly to that, then maybe it would be a good thing to learn how he relates to his or her own before you embark on a relationship.

Are you a social butterfly? Does all it take for a party to start is your walking into a room?

If yes, then it may be a good idea to find someone who complements or balances this side of your social behavior. The silent type or a socially awkward person will find themselves miserable on account of this facet of your personality.

Although initially, they may pretend to grin and bear it, as time goes on this can wear a relationship down on account of one partner always wanting to go out and socialize and the other wanting to do nothing but stay home and relax.

In the end, one will make the sacrifice which will, in turn, cause both to be miserable.

If you’re still in doubt if then take a deep breath and check if your partner answers favorably to the following three questions:
 

1. Where does he/she see the relationship ten years from now?

2. How important are your life goals to each other?

3. What is his/her opinion on forgiveness if one of you goes wrong but is generally remorseful?

If you’re tired of being practical by now, how about looking at the stars and find which is the most compatible person for you. All you need for this is your partner’s zodiac sign.

• Taurus bring out their best in the company of Cancer, Pisces, Virgos and Capricorn signs. Avoid Aquarius.
• Gemini gets along with anyone but especially with Libra and Aquarius. Sign to avoid; Pisces
• Cancer is in harmony with Pisces and not so much with Aries.
• Leo works great with Aries and Sagittarius. Sign to avoid Scorpio.
• Virgos work best with Capricorn and the worst with Sagittarius.
• Libras pair well with Aquarius and Gemini but should steer clear of Capricorn.
• Scorpio flourish in the company of Pisces but clash with Leo.
• Fiery Sagittarius team up well with other fiery signs like Aries but don’t do well with practical Virgos.
• Capricorn is most compatible with Virgo but don’t do well with Libra.
• Aquarius is most compatible with Gemini and least with Scorpio.
• Pisces team well with Cancer but show disharmony with Gemini.

The BBC in 2005 and then again in 2006 quoted that a team from the University of Pisa In Italy studying couples in love found that the first bloom of passion in a relationship lasts for just two years and the euphoria of a new romance, a year.  

Finally, it is the compatibility quotient the partners share that will carry them through the thick and thin of daily living. 

When all is said and done, it is the honest truth that human beings are not in any way perfect. Consequently, searching for the perfect human relationship will only bring heartache and disappointment. What one can search for, find and keep, however, is the most possible compatible life-partner one can find.

Sources/References
 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4669104.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4478040.stm

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/horoscopes/6589345/star-sign-compatibility-zodiac-signs/