The 6 Repercussions of Dating a Married Man

Dating a married man is a rocky road with very few perks.  It will be an uphill battle that you will deal with every single day.  The reality of dating a married man is the fact that you are not his priority.  You are his distraction.  You are his comfort. You are his back street girl.  You will never be his wife.  You will be sad more times than you will be happy. If none of these realities have dissuaded you from dating a married man, then read on for more insights.

The only advantage to dating a married man is knowing that your relationship is only about the good stuff.  It is about romance, sex, stealth getaways and jewelry.  You never fight over household chores or money because you don't have that type of familial relationship.  The flipside is that there are far too many drawbacks to make it a truly desirable relationship. Here are six very real disadvantages of dating a married man.

According to a study by the University of Denver, Colorado, a partner who cheats in a relationship is three times more likely to cheat in future relationships.  These are not good odds if you are the mistress in the relationship.  It is statically probable that your man is going to cheat on you with someone else in the future.  Keep this in mind. If he cheats with you, he will cheat on you.

He lies to his wife and his kids every time he is with you.  You already know that he is a cheater, so why would you believe for one second that he will always be faithful to you? I know you want to believe that he is really in love with you and not his wife, so he wouldn't possibly ever cheat on you.  However, I'm pretty sure his wife is thinking the exact same thing.

It doesn't matter how unhappy he tells you that he is in his marriage, he isn't going to leave.  There is something keeping him married to her.  Maybe it's the convenience of marriage itself that he likes.  Perhaps, in his line of business, it is more socially acceptable to be married.  Married men are viewed as being more stable than single or divorced men. 

It's also possible that his wife comes from money, so he isn't going to be in a hurry to give that lifestyle up.  If his wife sues him for divorce because of infidelity, she will make sure he doesn't get a penny of her fortune.  And, she will have the best lawyers that money can buy, so she will win.

His kids will always come first in his life, and they should because they are his children.  However, you are going to be perturbed when he has to leave you to go watch his daughter's soccer game or see his son in the school play.  Remember, he lives with those kids and his wife. He doesn't live with you.  It is going to be difficult for him to explain to his kids why he cannot attend any of their events in order to spend time with you.  He knows it is just easier for him to put his kids first.

While you may have your man on the occasional weeknight or weekend, you will be alone on every holiday.  And I do mean every holiday.  Remember, he is married and it will be difficult to create an excuse for his wife, kids and her family as to why he has to leave them on a holiday.  

You will have to get used to the idea of spending time with him the day before a holiday or the day after a holiday because that's when it will be easier for him to sneak away.  Yes, even on Valentine's day, you will be alone.   

Most dating couples can go out to dinner, the movies or the mall as part of their time together, but you will not have that luxury.  Your man is married and he cannot take the chance that someone he knows will see you two in public together.  They will know that you are not his wife, so he cannot risk that discovery.  Even more importantly, he doesn't want any of his wife's friends to see the two of you together because they would take pleasure in informing her of what they suspect!

You have to prepare yourself for a life of dating your man by staying indoors at your place.  You will live your life with him in the shadows. Unless your married man has a second place that he uses for rendezvous with you (or others), you better get comfortable with the idea that he isn't going to take you anywhere.

At first, you might think it's romantic.  Always spending every moment together at your place might be great in the beginning, but you will yearn for the outdoors.  You want to go places with your man, right? I mean, other women get to do that very routine type of thing, so why can't you?  He's married, and cheating on his wife so you need to be okay with the fact that he will almost never be seen in public with you.

He won't leave his wife, but it isn't because you aren't good enough or lacking in some way. You will constantly second guess your worth because he won't choose you over her.  He wants you to think this way too because it keeps everything status quo for him.  You will keep trying to please him so much that he will leave his wife, but he won't, and this makes you try even harder.  He wins, you lose.

If the guy you are dating is separated, remember that he is still married.  Couples separate to take a break from each other and to explore other relationships.  They also separate as a precursor to divorce, but the divorce is not guaranteed.  This means that there is a possibility that he gets back together with his wife.

Before getting serious with a separated man, find out what's going on with his relationship with his wife.  What leads to the separation? Whose idea was the separation?  You want to know these details before becoming emotionally invested in this man because you don't want to end up heartbroken if there is a real possibility they will resolve their differences and try again.

Be careful about dating a married man who is in the process of getting divorced.  He may not be emotionally ready for a new relationship.  No matter how many years they were married, he will need to spend time grieving the end of the relationship.  If he doesn't, you may simply become the transitional woman.  That's the woman he uses to get over his wife.

You want to get some sort of confirmation from your man that his divorce is a reality.  There is always the possibility he is lying and has no intention of getting divorced.  He could be using the divorce as a ploy to entice you into a relationship. 

It is quite simple, really.  The way to stop dating married men is to not start in the first place.  If a married man hits on you; tell him to take a hike.  If you are already in a relationship with a married man, break up with him.  Change your cell phone number.  You deserve to be someone's number one priority, and if you are dating a married man, you will never be first.

If you are seeking out a married man to date, you need to find out why.  Why are you looking for men that are unavailable?  You may need the help of a therapist to get to the root of this issue.  Remember, there is nothing wrong with asking for help.

Dating a married man is going to be filled with heartache for you.  All of your friends will be going out dancing with their boyfriends and going to parties and plays and you will be jealous of their freedom.  If your friends invite you to go along, and you decide to tag along with them because you are dying for a night out on the town, you will be miserable and will feel like the third wheel.

If you will be satisfied with the 12% of the time you get to spend with your man, then stay with your married guy.  Just know that you will never meet your real Mr. Right while you pin your hopes on your married man.