The List of common Marriage Problems with Solutions
Everyone is aware of the fact that in every marriage, there comes a time when everything seems to be going downhill. But this needs to be understood that these hardships are a part of normal life and happy marriages cannot be complete without them. No doubt it is hard but it takes a little effort from both sides to overcome it all.
Here’s a list of 10 most common marital problems along with their solutions:
1. Struggle in Economy
No doubt even the non-marital life has troubled us when it comes to money. But when there is another person living with you, there is a huge burden on the overall finances. Couples have different spending habits and when this can affect the marriage in a lot of ways. For example if one person is having money issues, they are more likely to get irritated more often and pick a fight.
At any point in marriage, it is important for you and your spouse to be on the same page when it comes to dollars and cents. Proper expression of your feelings along with planning and talking about ways to get out of financial issues is the key to get rid of this problem.
2. Difficult Children
After having children, it’s not just about you two, but also the little ones in your lives. But even the nicest children can have drastic effects on your marriage. Couples often forget that their spouse is also a priority, not just the children. Not keeping a balance will create aspects of jealousy and insecurity.
The bond between couples should be made stronger. You should nourish your spouse with love and appreciation and create an understanding how to handle kids and still keep each other and your relationship, a priority.
3. Lack of Sexual Intimacy
It might seem like sex and physical affection are the minor things in a marriage, but it’s quite hard to have a healthy marital relationship without it. Partners seem to feel apart from each other and most often get a complex about not being loved anymore. There is also a lack of fulfilling and fresh vibes among couples.
The solution is to regain that mutual trust and find a way to be physically intimate again. This can be done by finding a way to be comfortable with each other both emotionally and sexually. As both of these things go hand in hand.
This word doesn’t necessarily mean cheating or being unfaithful by involving other people. Loyalty lacks when there is less attention to the responsibilities in a relationship like time, resources and love. When a person gets disloyal in these aspects, they’re bound to cheat as well. This one thing makes the marriage really hard.
Recommitting yourself towards your spouse is the best way to handle this problem. Make little efforts and lovely gestures to charm your partner and recreate the love that was lost somewhere between the marital responsibilities.
5. Lack of Communication:
Even after years of marriage or any other relationship, communication is THE key to maintain it and keep it from falling apart. The thought of taking your partner for granted because you might think they already understand and discussing a matter is not really important, destroys the mutual bond of trust between any couple.
No matter how much time you’ve spent with your partner, it’s always necessary to keep the communication doors open and discuss every little thing that might not even seem important. But never be too annoying or clingy either.
6. Anger control
Not just in a marriage, this is a serious issue in our community overall. It’s totally fine to be mad sometimes, but completely losing it is not tolerable. A person can say or do so many things when angry, and hurt their significant other without even realizing.
Knowing that actions done in anger will give you nothing than regret, then why not take care of it before hand? Try different things that can distract your mind when your anger is getting out of control. Keep silent and help you and your partner to cope up with the matter at hand. Check out the techniques for anger management that might come in handy.
7. Different ambitions
You and your partner are two completely different beings with distinct interests and ambitions for the future. It’s normal to speak up about your desires but when things don’t go according to your partner, things can get messy. Trying to change someone’s mind is already really hard, but when there’s lack of understanding and compassion too, then it’s almost impossible.
One needs to acknowledge that feelings of partners matters in a successful marriage. Constantly trying to change someone’s mind isn’t always the answer, but appreciating and understanding their thoughts is.
8. Constant Moving
It is one of the most common issues encountered by American families, where they have to switch careers a lot and for that they have to move their whole setup. The new job might be a good one, but your family and most importantly your spouse might not adjust that well to it.
Try to adjust in the place you’re most comfortable in along with your partner. Your mind and heart will find peace when your family is happy, not by some place you’ve been longing to get to.
9. Career getting in the way
We’ve talked about frequent moving might damage your marriage, but what about obsessing too much over work? This one thing can destroy your relationship before you even know it. Maybe you are really trying to make it work for your family but getting totally oblivious of the responsibilities at home, will just ruin it.
Always keep a balance between work and marriage. Make plans or arrange date nights if you have a busy schedule. There is always a slot you can squeeze in for your partner in the tangled career memos.
10. Coping with Stress
In a married life, everyday there’s a new kind of stress to deal with. And no doubt it gets on someone’s nerve one way or the other. Little stresses can pile up and end up exploding at some point which isn’t good news for anyone.
Creating a relaxed environment for you and your partner is very important. Reassurance that no matter what happens, your partner can always rely on you for help and support in times of mental burden.
Marriage Problems that arises after Baby
No doubt a baby means happiness on board, but along with it comes many issues that deeply effect the couple and their marriage.
Here are some of the prominent problems encountered by couples after having a baby:
1. Work Overload
Not just for the mommy but the work in the house gets so much in just a few days that it gets really hectic and tiring. Too many chores in the house with only the couple to handle them all, it gets chaotic.
2. Less Couple Time
With a new member in the family, comes new responsibilities which take an ample amount of time. The couple feels apart from each other because a lot of time is being taken up by the baby. It’s important to set your priorities straight and be as cooperative to your spouse as possible. It’s most commonly after the first few months since the baby.
3. Involvement of Grandparents
Boundaries are the essential element when you want to raise your baby as you want. Many people can interfere with that including grandparents. Not intentionally but they can create misunderstandings with your partner. There might be things they don’t approve of in your marriage or upbringing of your baby and would want to change them. This could create a mess in your marriage and make everything overall very complicated.
Getting the help you need
It’s never shameful to admit that there are certain aspects in your life that are affecting your relationship. Once you admit that, it means you’re one step closer to correcting that as well.
Here are some words of wisdom from experts to help you get through it.
1. Get Help From Professional Counselors
"One piece of advice I believe on how to save your marriage is to seek help early instead of waiting for contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling to become entrenched in the relationship. In the early stages of a relationship if issues come up, don’t sweep them under the carpet, get to marriage counseling." –Dennis Paget
2. Meditate Before Anger Blows Up
"When times get tough, and life being what it is, having skills to listen effectively (to yourself and your spouse), manage intense negative emotions well, and communicate in non-blaming or defensive ways, are the tools to navigate life's tougher challenges." -Adrienne Levy, LMFT
3. Time Planning And Create Pockets Of Me-Time vs Us-Time
"Prioritize your marriage such that you both put energy and time into it. A marriage is like a plant. It won’t survive without proper sunshine and watering. You can’t just put it in a corner and expect it to thrive on its own under clouds, nor can you expect it to survive with acid rain." -Dr. Tony Fiore
Don’t get upset over the hurdles life throws at you in your marriage. Where there is a relationship that strong, things are bound to get down sometimes. But that only happens so you can take a step back, understand, and make things okay again. And after issues, the bonds become stronger than ever. After all, you’re not alone in this.