Understanding men: Likes, Dislikes and What Makes Them Tick

Your 101 guide and tips to understand men and their preferences

By Portia S D
Understanding men: Likes, Dislikes and What Makes Them Tick

Understanding men and their mind games

Check mate - Establishing authority

Mind games can be manipulative and domineering in nature. Generally, they can reflect insecurities and serious trust issues that men may exhibit.  Mind games are defined as human behavior’s implying firstly, a conscious struggle to the point of attempting to demoralize and secondly the unconscious mind game that portrays a social standing that does not necessarily exist.  In relationships, mind games may be used to undermine and downplay a partner’s conviction.   

 

John Lennon wrote a song titled 'mind games' in which he implies that mind games are like planting seeds.  These lyrics profoundly convey a certain candor since mind games can be compared in many ways to passive suggestion.  Seeds planted into the mind of the other person can be constructive or destructive in nature.  It depends largely on the response of the hearer.  

In some instances, men play mind games in a drive to establish authority.  Men facing a rapidly changing environment where traditions are no longer the norm and their roles are transmuting dramatically.  In other cases, men can use mind games to manipulate a partner or colleague or opponent in sports.

 

Mind games are a sign of weakness and do not exhibit the true character of a man.  Let his ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and his ‘no’ be ‘no’ but conveying a message that is untrue demoralizes the character of the man.

Understanding men and their body languages

Touch and posture

Men and woman use body language in very different ways.  Body language is recognized as movements and gestures of the body that communicate to another person non-verbally.  Body language engages with the emotions of the person one is communicating with through touch, posture, eye contact, hand and feet gestures or facial expressions.  In conversation, there is a safe space between a man and a woman during the verbal exchange.  However, when men intentionally invade that space, it sends a message to the confrère and can be interpreted as a means of demonstrating dominance. 
 

However, men that are not interested in pursuing any type of association, friendship or otherwise would generally make very brief and polite conversation.  A woman can easily recognize his lack of interest if he does not probe for personal information, for example, a telephone number, or ask what her interests are.  
 

There is a spontaneous action that emerges when a man is interested in a woman and similarly when that action is reciprocated.  In some instances, both parties could feel at comfort and ease.  Eye contact and touch can send an affirmation of what both parties feel. 

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Understanding men and their sexuality

Aroused by sight

Sexuality as a noun designates as masculine, feminine, or neuter in some languages. The sense denoting biological sex has also been used since the 14th century, but this did not become common until the mid-20th century. Although the words gender and sex are often used interchangeably, they have slightly different connotations; sex tends to refer to biological differences, while gender more often refers to cultural and social differences and sometimes encompasses a broader range of identities than the binary of male and female.  

 

Hormones control the overall health in men and woman.  Testosterone is a sex hormone that plays an important role in the body.  It regulates a man’s sex drive (libido), bone mass, fat distribution, muscle mass and the production of red blood cells and sperm.  Inherently men are stimulated and aroused by sight whereas woman on the other hand are turned on by smell.  Most woman cannot resist taking a deep breath when walking past a man drenched in cologne.  On the other hand, a man’s eyes survey a female frame from the legs all the way to the face.  And their body language does nothing to hide their behavior.  Men may also display more health risk behaviors because their reactions can sometimes supersede common sense and morality.

Understanding men in relationships

The one that completes him

Although men may spend a lifetime trying to understand a woman’s mind, men themselves are less complicated beings.  There is a popular phrase that “behind every successful man is an exhausted woman”.  And this is because men are constantly in need of validation and respect.  Consequently, men would be attracted to a partner that deliberately makes the effort to validate him.  Men are like the power grid in a relationship, constantly absorbing energy from its atmosphere.  When a man has found that individual in a partner that provides the ‘dot’ in his ‘I’ and bears the cross in his ‘t’, he would undoubtedly make that relationship a permanent union.  Needless to say that when a man has found the person that completes him he is faithful, trustworthy, chivalrous and mindful of all her needs.

It is inherent within every man, a desire to protect and provide.  And depending on the circumstances, a man can very easily adapt to becoming the protector of the home especially if his partner is the one that is economically active.  On the other hand, most men prefer the role of being the provider in a relationship and would in most cases become the breadwinner.  Although it is much different with this new generation of millennials.

 

Men do not give up very easily and based on their upbringing and childhood teaching, are more likely to contest to keep relationships together rather than opt for separation or divorce.   

Understanding men and their emotions

Healthy men show emotion

Most men are in complete control of their emotions as they are not inherently governed by emotions.  However, emotions can dictate a man’s behavior when feelings such as depression, rejection or inferiority creep in and their reaction is sometimes dependent on the atmosphere that a man finds himself in.  Having positive and optimistic people in a man’s life can promote him to excellence, on the other hand, people that are pessimistic can negatively impact on a man’s self-esteem.

 

Men do not generally allow situations to dictate how they feel as they take charge of most situations.  A man’s will is the epitome of survival and strength, not emotions.  The testosterone-governance of their make-up is to be strong, masculine and fearless.  Therefore men maintain emotional control in the fear of being seen as a weak person.  

From birth, men are taught not to show emotion which is in error as every human being needs to understand how to express emotion.  Otherwise, those emotions can manifest in destructive behavior.   In some instances, men fail to share their emotions for fear of being shamed hence they resort to internalizing their feelings.  Communication is the best form of interaction that can help men express their emotions rather than burying them.  Run-away emotions can sometimes be an expression of fear.  However, with a strong partner and healthy validation, a man lives confidently in the creature that he was born to be.

Rounding it up

Although the reasoning that men’s preferences can sometimes be considered as bias, the scales weigh in favor that men are attracted to partners that are physically attractive, has appealing personality characteristics and is mentally and emotionally balanced.  

 

On the other hand, men that are manipulative or domineering in nature are those that play mind games which is a sign of weakness and does not exhibit the true character and demoralizes the character of the man.  

 

It is almost impossible for a man not to use some form of body language in any form of engagement.  As men use all of their senses and limbs from head to toe in order to convey a message.  Men also display more health risk behaviors because their reactions can sometimes supersede common sense and morality.

Men are like the power grid in a relationship, constantly absorbing energy from its atmosphere.  When a man has found that individual in a partner that provides the ‘dot’ in his ‘I’ and bears the cross in his ‘t’, he would undoubtedly make that relationship a permanent union.  Needless to say that when a man has found the person that completes him he is faithful, trustworthy, chivalrous and mindful of all her needs.

 

When men fail to share their emotions they resort to internalizing their feelings.  Communication is the only form of interaction that can help men express their emotions rather than burying them.  Run-away emotions can sometimes be an expression of fear.  However, with a strong partner and healthy validation, a man lives confidently in the creature that he was born to be.

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