12 Advice and Tips on Saving a Marriage on the rocks

Your instant guide on saving a marriage that looking to fail

By PERIS K
12 Advice and Tips on Saving a Marriage on the rocks

Marriage continuously evolves with the changes in time. Difficult moments in marriage are a common issue to be experienced by any couples and these times calls for effective measures and proper steps to fix things in the right direction.

It is critical for couples to keenly have an analysis of the problems they face in their married life before making any decision. Failing marriage is one of the worst catastrophes in a relationship. It is accompanied by anguish and pain, and a horrible feeling comes in when one notices that things are not getting well in the marriage.  

If you are deliberating on how to bring things in the right path of your marriage, here are the best advice to navigate marriage's tough challenges and ensure the sustenance of your marriage.

Tips for Saving a Marriage after an Affair

Deciding on the reasons as to why people cheat in marriage is not something that is easy to comprehend. In cases of cheating in marriage, the relationship is affected. People mainly have affairs outside marriage because of the feeling that they are lacking something in their current marriage. The issues could be sexual satisfaction, emotional support and good attention from their partner.

The following vital tips can help your marriage survive even after infidelity. 

1. Make a reflection on the issues

Under what circumstances could have been the root cause of for the marriage to feel this way? Could it be the lack of communication which has weakened the cord of connection?

In the situation of the communication gap, the relationship weakens and ends up falling apart. Communication has to be strengthened by sharing ideas and expression by both parties. Could it be a lack of affection and care?

Even if marriage has experienced such problems, saving a marriage that feels broken is possible. Think about how things changed from the good times to the bad times and find a solution to each of the cause.

2. Identify the reasons of you falling in love

Think back on the basics of what made both of you fall in love and start writing them down. Bring yourself back to the very time when you first met and fall in love together. Make a consideration of the things you adored about the person and reasons that made you want to be with him.

Think back to the times when things were good even though that might have been lost. Having good thoughts on the reasons for falling in love will help lift your spirit in the marriage.

3. Make conversation to each other

Talk to one another and always have the patience to each other, especially on the issues that seem to have significant complications. When you increase communication with each other, it helps you connect well.

Make a point of taking your partner for a date and during dating moments, make sure to create conversations and topics. By doing so, it will make both of you feel that you are unified and together no matter how difficult life may be.

You can also have a few minutes every night to chat with each other. A marriage that is lacking in communication is hugely damaging to the relationship.

4. Make an end to the affair.

The damage has been done. If you want to have a hope of having your marriage saved, the behavior has to end immediately. Your spouse has to know that you are no longer in an affair with the partner.

Trust of your spouse has already been broken, and even if your spouse wants to have trust in you at that moment, they cannot even trust their ability to have trust in you. The offending behavior to your marriage has to come to an end, by all means, so that it will be possible for trust to come back to both of you.

5. Trust rebuilding and seeking forgiveness

For your marriage to survive, forgiveness has to be there.

Forgiveness is something that is possible and is something that takes a lot of time, depending on the offense of nature. It can take a long time to heal and forgive.

One has to let go and allow forgiveness to occur. This happens when the partners have willingness and readiness for both of you to come together. Rebuilding trust is one of the difficult things to rebuild after an affair. Your job as an offending spouse is to show proof that you can be trusted by your partner. An effective way of showing trust to your partner is by always telling the truth every time.

6. Help your spouse in the healing process.

Cheating n marriage leaves deep wounds behind, but they can be healed if care is given. Healing your spouses with their pain is a task that is hard; it is a sad and painful process and can take the duration of time. It is a process, and there is a great payoff if you can do it well in your marriage. An essential thing in a healing process is to decide on the root cause of the affair. In case of no answered to the cause, the faithful partner will be kept wondering if it will happen again. Make a discussion on the cause that led to your spouse cheating. Discuss ways of resolving them together to have peace in marriage.

Tips for Saving a Marriage after Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a common occurrence in many marriages across the world. There are varied reasons as to the cause of much domestic violence in marriage.

7. Blame the situation and not your spouse.

Domestic violence does not just happen instantly. It is typically due to particular factors and conditions in marriage the accelerates the occurrence. Do not be quick to blame your partner.

Evaluate the situation and find the root cause that resulted in domestic violence. Was it due to stress at work? Unresolved tension that was accumulated over time? Seek help if need to or when the frequency of domestic violence becomes higher. 

8. Both of you have to be willing to forgive and build the relationship back.

Forgiveness is the best options to offer to your spouse after instances of violence in your marriage. Be always ready to forget the past occurrences and concentrate on building a new path in your marriage. This will save your marriage no matter the pain that has been caused before.

9. Getting guidance from a therapist and qualified couples

It is crucial to seek assistance from the counselor who will give you advice on how to start a new process and how to start repairing the bond in your marriage. The aftermath of domestic violence can sometimes be very devastating and hurting and seeking help is a crucial tip to ensuring that your marriage is saved.

Tips for Saving a Marriage after Addiction

Addiction is widespread ranging from alcohol and drugs addiction, gambling and even addiction to pornography. The following are the top ways of recovering your marriage after addiction.

10. Treat your marriage as if it is a new relationship.

For a marriage to survive, the couples have to treat each other as if their relationship is new. Give assurance to your spouse that you love the new them. Build up your spouse's confidence and help them feel positive about their new life. Also, make sure to have a date once in a while since this is a new relationship.

11. Sex should not be hurried while making addiction recovery.

Do not have the pressure to work on to your sex life before works go into making restoration on the foundations of your relationships. Give time to each other for the full recovery of your partner, then you can now start your normal part of life together.

Romance is a delicious thing in marriage but always relax until all the things get in the right manner for you to enjoy your marriage.

12. Find a hobby

It is critical for both of you to have spent time together doing what makes both happy in your marriage. Though it may seem something not productive, it is efficient for both of you to create your own time out of the busy schedules.

By doing so will help in the creation of trust between both of you and help your partner to move forward and out of the addiction. Focus on one another in order to remove the past negative emotions.

Top 3 books on Saving Marriages

The following books can bring a useful change to your struggling marriage life and has many things to learn from to strengthen your relationship.

1. “The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work” By John M.Gottman and Nan Silver.

“The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work” By John M.Gottman and Nan Silver.

It is a great book to read and has a lot of advice on issues ranging from sex, work and money in your marriage. The book is straightforward to understand and has worksheets having practical exercises that you can both work on as couples. Read it with your spouse from page to page even if it is giving 30 minutes to it each day will add value to your marriage.

2. “The Five Love Languages” By Gary Chapman.

The Five Love Languages” By Gary Chapman.

The basic idea in the book is that husbands and wives usually have different languages in their love.

This concept of love language was made famous by this book. You can now take a test to see what is your love language. Maybe you love more when your husband serves you or your husband feels loved when you give praises to him. By reading the book, you will get to know your love language and what your spouse loves too.

3. “The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving The Heart Of Conflict” By The Arbinger Institute

The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving The Heart Of Conflict” By The Arbinger Institute

The book has interesting and exciting stories on ways of resolving various conflicts and blames and how we contribute to the divisions and problems and blame it on the other people.

It is a beautiful book that will be of great help to your marriage and will help improve your relationship.

Related Article: 10 Types of Marriage problems that can happen to anyone
10 Types of Marriage problems that can happen to anyone
Find out the list of common marriage problems in the Society

Conclusion

In conclusion, learning what causes troubles in marriage is critical to both of you as couples. Have a discussion openly on the way of fighting the challenges as they occur before they cause harm to your marriage life. Make sure to always consult for guidance from other experienced people in order to have an improvement in your marriage.

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