How Not To Fall In Love With With A Guy So Easily
Love is a great thing. Being loved makes people healthier. How do we know we are giving our love to the right person? Being in love makes you do crazy, and possibly stupid things. If you fall in love too easily, you may end up getting hurt because the guy isn't right for you or you give up too much because you're crazily in love.
Listen to these tips and be rational to yourself so you don't fall in love so easily and get hurt all the time.
1. Love - it's about give and take
Falling in love makes you want to give everything you have to the guy without asking for anything in return. But when you don't get anything in return, it's hurtful. When you meet someone new and develop feelings for him, ask yourself, what can he offer me?
Love should be unconditional, but it's also mutual. You shouldn't be the only one that's giving. If you give him all the time and attention but he doesn't offer you the same, you need to tell yourself to stop. Set a higher standard and look for a guy that actually offers you what you need, and not only take what you give.
2. Talk to a bestie
People that fall in love too easily are usually too kind. They only see the best in everything. You can develop feelings for someone just because they offered you an umbrella once when it's raining.
Get your bestie on the line and have a girls talk. Be with someone rational that's not so caught up in the situation and listen to their opinion. You can be too blinded by love to see that you really shouldn't be falling in love just because of an umbrella, but your bestie for sure can. That's why every girl needs a best friend that she can call at 3am when she's feeling crazy.
3. Stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself you are awesome
Sounds weird and irrelevant? It's very relevant. Most of the people fall in love too easily because they have low self esteem. They want to be completed by someone else better than them because they don't feel good enough. If that sounds like you, go ahead and tell yourself how awesome you are.
You don't need anyone to complete you. You need to learn to discover the good qualities about you first. When you think you are worth nothing, it's easy to think that the whole world is better than you. Then as soon as you see a guy with some good qualities, you feel in love.
Find a way to work on your self esteem. Make yourself feel that you're able and powerful. Then you will see falling in love doesn't seem too confusing or scary because you've learnt to love yourself and know your strength.
How Not To Fall In Love With With Someone So Fast
4. Don't ignore the red flags
It's easy to overlook someone's flaws when you want to love them. All the red flags that become so clear after you've moved on were once so hard to see when you're in love. If he disappears sometimes for a day or two, don't make excuses for him that 'it's just who he is'.
Ask yourself if it's really a quality you want in your boyfriend. Don't ignore the red flags. Too many people realise they fell in love with the wrong person in the past because they wanted to feel in love that they fell in love so fast and ignored all the red flags.
Weigh out the good and bad qualities about him. Be rational and tell yourself that if he has a quality that you can't live with, you shouldn't overlook it just because you want to fall in love.
5. Find a balance between initiating and waiting
We live in the 21st century. There's no rule that guys have to initiate first if both of you are interested. So many of us would initiate to the boy we like. It also happens a lot that girls don't know when to stop because they've become so in love and don't realise that the other person is actually not interested.
Don't initiate 100% of the time. Initiate a few times then wait and see if he does the same. If he doesn't, it's fairly obvious how he feels about you and there's no reason for you to fall in love with him. Learn to control your love even when it's hard. Giving your love to the wrong person hurts more than not finding someone to give your love to.
6. Keep appropriate distance
A common thing that happens to couples that fall in love too fast is that their passion for each other decreases fast as well. After three months or half a year and all their passion is already gone. That's a risk that you don't have to take if you could just keep some distance and mystery right from the start.
Don't delve yourself too far into him right from the start. Make sure you know what you want first. You don't know for sure if this is someone you want to commit to so the best is to protect yourself and not to fall in love so fast by keeping an appropriate distance.
How Not To Fall In Love With A Jerk
7. Make a list of the bad things he did to you
Sometimes you know the guy is a jerk but your heart just wants to be with him anyways. The easiest way is to make a list so you can see it black and white, of all the shitty things he had done to you so far. Go grab a pen and paper, write down everything that has gone wrong from the start, whether or not you have forgiven him for it.
Writing making the list, sit down and have a good think of how many times he had done the same thing even though he promised he wouldn't. Then you will see he doesn't deserve another chance. People can say they can change all they want. Only actions can tell. If your list is long, how much effort he is putting in to make a change is obvious, very minimal. Then you can just leave knowing that you've lost someone that never loved you, but he lost someone that once loved him so much. So who really lost here?
8. Tell him NO
Jerks are jerks because they have the tendency to repeat the same mistake. When you're in love, it's easy to say you will forgive. For your own good, firmly tell him NO at least once. Tell him firmly that if he makes the same mistake again, you will leave his life forever and see what happens.
If he is not a jerk and truly cares about you, he will make the change for you to keep you in his life. But if he is a jerk and honestly don't care less about you, then it's very obvious that he's going to disappoint again. You just need to tell yourself this is something you can't live with and it's best to just leave him so you can have a better life.
9. Don't go to him because you're lonely
Have a sleepover at your bestie's place or just drown yourself in Netflix shows. Don't ever initiate to a jerk because you feel lonely because you're likely to catch feelings and think he is a good guy if he gives you the attention.
Deep down, most girls can always tell when a guy is a jerk. They just don't want to face it because they don't want to be alone. Remember, you're alone because the jerk is in the way of you meeting someone else, someone you deserve.
10. Fill your schedule with different activities
Sign up for a skating class, or go hiking with new friends, book a ticket out of the country. Don't allow yourself to have time to think about him. Having the time to think about him will only make you fall in love with him madly even more. The best way to not fall for a jerk is to have the time to yourself. Don't expect a jerk will change. They never do. So you can only protect yourself and not have the time to even fall for him.
We all like the feeling of love. Love is hard. Falling in love with the right one will bring you a lifetime of happines. Sometimes you're falling for the right one, but you're just going in too fast or devote yourself to him too easily and the excitment is gone too soon. Finding the right balance is important. Relationships are like a game of chess. Check out our tips so you don't fall for the right person in the wrong way or the jerk that will ruin your life!