10 Signs To Tell If You Are Falling Out Of Love

How to tell if you are falling out of love in a relationship

By Angelieh D. R.
10 Signs To Tell If You Are Falling Out Of Love

Meaning of Falling out of Love

Realizing that you are falling out of love can be difficult.

Falling in love is easy and beautiful. The moon looks ten times bigger, the animals seem to be singing along with you, every song on the radio is about you, and every minute of every day just feels like paradise. The world could not look anything more than a shade of pink. 

However, falling out of love, on the other hand, can be a very difficult experience. It is painful to think that your fairy tale with your princess or prince charming has to come to an end - that happily ever after is not possible with that special someone. You may even find yourself asking - "Is it him/her or is it me?" 

Signs that tell - Am I Falling out of love with my boyfriend?

Are you falling out of love with him?

At first, it might have been perfect for you and your boyfriend. He seemed like your other half - the soul mate that you have been waiting for since you were a little girl. He might have been that someone that you see yourself marrying and being with for the rest of your lives.

However, these past few days, weeks or months may have been confusing for you because things between him and you are simply not as they were before. The flames of love seem to have burned out and turned cold. "Am I really falling out of love him?", you may find yourself thinking. Here are a few signs that can help you know for sure. 

1. Saying "I love you" feels like a burden

He says "I love you" but you can't say it back.

Before your period of sadness and confusion, nothing is easier for you to shout out loudly and constantly more than an "I love you" to your boyfriend. It is the verbal confirmation that tells him the extent of your feelings of passion and love for him. 

But now, when everything has changed, saying "I love you" to your boyfriend feels wrong or unnatural. Maybe there is no longer love behind it or you just say it out of habit and expectation. Sometimes, you may even feel that you can no longer say it at all. 

2. You do not mind him falling for someone else

He falls for another girl and you do not care.

You just found out that he has been becoming closer with a female friend of his. It seems like he likes spending a lot of time with her and every time you are together, he has nothing else to talk about than how funny she is or how interesting. You feel it in your heart that he may be falling for her - hard and fast.

And the thing is, you do not feel jealousy, hurt or betrayal. In fact, you are completely fine with it and you are probably asking yourself, "Why should I bother?" A strong sign that you are falling out of love is seeing your boyfriend fall in love with someone else and you are not affected by it. 

3. Everything he does is irritating to you

You find him so irritating.

When you met him, you thought that nothing is more interesting than what's going on in his mind. You find his jokes witty and funny, and you can't help but roll over laughing every single time. Every little quirk that he has and even his weird interests and obsessions are everything that makes him perfect. 

Now you can't help but be embarrassed, angry, or irritated every time he opens up his mouth. Everything he does, whether intentionally or not, gets you all riled up and ready to explode. The things that you used to love him are now the things that cause you to dislike him. 

4. You are not attracted to him anymore

You are no longer being intimate.

Previously, your day would not complete without a hug or a kiss from your boyfriend. Being with him every evening while watching a movie, eating popcorn and cuddling is the highlight of every day. For you, his face is the face of your prince charming - he is nothing but perfection and flawless. His smile and the way he gazes up at you can easily stop you in your tracks and make your heart faster. 

But now, you can't stand to look at him anymore and when you do meet his eyes, you feel nothing. The spark of love seems lost. In fact, you have not been intimate with him for a long time. You could not even think about being that physical and personal with him ever again. 

5. You fight with him all the time

You hardly agree with each other anymore.

Every day had been a honeymoon period. Everything you do together is a moment of happiness. You can finish each other's sentences and you used to swear that he could read your mind. You proudly tell people that he is your other half. 

Although, for the past few days, weeks or months, there has been nothing more than shouting, shouting, and more shouting. The honeymoon phase is long gone and an awful, nightmarish reality has settled in. You can't even remember the last time that you had a conversation and actually agreed on something. 

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6. You hardly talk to each other anymore

You no longer communicate your thoughts and feelings.

He was your best friend. You can talk to him about everything: your hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties. And he is the same with you - he shares with you his most intimate thoughts, he admits his feelings of inadequacy, and he goes to you for comfort after a long, hard day at work. Being with him and just looking into each other's eyes and talking, it's everything you ever needed. 

At present, you can't even remember that last time that you and he had actually sat down and had a real conversation. The days and nights just pass in awkward silence with the two of you looking at your own phones. All you have is small talk, the trust and the openness is no longer there. 

7. Spending time with him is a chore

You equate being alone to freedom.

Before, you and your boyfriend are like two peas in a pod. Inseparable, and people swear that you two are like conjoined twins with all the time that you spend together. You feel like you can't live without him and you can't survive a week or a day without seeing him and being with him even for just a short while.

The present could not be any more than a complete opposite of the past.  Every time away from him is like a safe haven where you could breathe and be yourself. Spending time with him has become a to-do list and not something that you actually want to do. 

8. You are happier alone or with your friends

Your friends make you happier than being with him.

Your friends used to complain that you do not spend enough time with them. They claim that you have replaced them with your boyfriend. You used to have weekly girls' night outs or have weekend plans to have brunch and get pampered in a spa. Sometimes, you even had ample time for yourself and your hobbies.

Now your friends ask you why you are spending so much time with them instead of him. Lately, you have nothing more on your schedule than finishing that painting or by updating your blog and journal. Being with your friends or being alone makes you happier and more fulfilled than spending time with him.  

9. You cannot see a future with him anymore

When you dream about the future, he is no longer there.

You know that you might have been a little naive but you weren't able to help yourself but you dream about marrying him. And maybe, like a little girl, you have spent time writing your names together and styling yourself his Mrs. You daydream about the future and you talk with him about your future plans - with the two of you together. 

The picture is now blurry. The future still exists, complete with your dreams and aspirations, but he no longer seems to have a place in it. Instead of his face, the face of the one you loved, you are now seeing a blank figure or a question mark. 

10. You get attracted to someone else

You develop feelings for another guy.

There is no one in the world but him. You promised yourself: only him and me for forever and always. You can't imagine yourself with someone else. How could you when you know that he is the one? 

The sound that comes nest is like that of a glass breaking. It's the sound of your dream of spending forever with him shattering into a million pieces. He continues talking and talking. He doesn't notice that you are looking over his shoulder and swooning over a guy with the blue eyes and a dimple in his smile. 

Falling out of Love songs

Falling out of love is a difficult and painful experience. It is also subjective - no one experiences it in exactly the same way as others. An example of this would be these falling out of love songs by some famous artists. 

1. “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift

In this song, Taylor Swift sings about the difficulty of not being able to reach the finality of a break-up. The lyrics also include the reasons why she had to break off the relationship with her partner in the song. And in the refrain, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" also mentions the illusion and naivete of her belief in a forever with her boyfriend. 

2. “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie

In this song by The Black Eyed Peas' Fergie, feelings of tenderness and love still remain in her heart as she chooses to break off her relationship with her boyfriend. Fergie realizes in the song that she wanted to take more time for herself - to get to know herself better and grow as a person. 

3. "I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance

My Chemical Romance is widely known for its reputation as an Emo rock band. And their song, "I Don't Love You" is about the bitterness of lost love and being left behind. The images and symbolism in the music video is very powerful in its portrayal of the difficulties experienced in breaking-up. 

4. “Somebody That I Used To Know” by Gotye (feat. Kimbra)

Gotye's song is also about the bitterness of falling out of love. It especially focuses on the idea of falling out of love with a stranger who you used to be intimately close with. It expresses the feelings of loss and betrayal. It also shows both the perspective of the boyfriend and the girlfriend. 

5. “Someone Like You” by Adele

Like Fergie's song, Adele's "Someone Like You" expresses a lingering feeling of love for her partner. However, the persona in the song realizes that she would be able to find someone that was just as perfect and loveable as her ex-boyfriend. It expresses a sad but optimistic hope of falling in love once again. 


Do not be afraid to move forward.

Falling out of love can be a difficult and challenging experience. It might be hard to let go of a relationship that you've had for a long time - one that has become a huge chunk of your life. Or it might be that person altogether, you worry about hurting him and leaving him all alone. 

However, you have to think about what would be best for you and him in the long run. How you could make each other happy if one of you is miserable? One of the hardest, but bravest things to do in life is to let go and learn to move forward. 

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 We all got to admit that getting back up and starting to go on dates after any kind of heartache can be hard.