We all got to admit that getting back up and starting to go on dates after any kind of heartache can be hard. When it comes to this, many people might think a solid "no" to start dating again after being so hurt from a previous relationship. After all, a heartbreak puts the brain at stress, resulting in emotional, physiological, and even physical damage.
From a breakup to divorce, we will show you the ways that you can start turning the page and leaving all the pain behind:
After such a desolating time, the ideal is to go through a grieving stage. What is complex, is "getting back to the game": meeting new people, giving yourself the opportunity to have a date and maybe get a little further with the person, and falling in love again after a failed relationship.
When you reach stability and realize that you left behind the worst of your separation, you will start dedicating time to yourself, and define what you want in the dating field.
How To Start Dating Again After A Breakup
Breakups are painful when we are separated from a person that we actually loved. It can be very hard to get through them, it might even seem impossible to overcome, but with the right mindset, you might be able to move on. Here are our best tips on how to start dating again after a breakup:
1. Don't push yourself
After a breakup, going on a date shouldn't feel as a requirement or obligation. According to psychologists, the best moment to start dating again depends only on you. You will feel when you are ready. During the mean time, you can go back to doing activities that you may have left behind to enjoy your past relationship, dedicate time to your friends and family; but, on top of everything, to yourself.
2. Don't idealize relationships
When you are open to meeting new people, emotions can overcome reason. Stay calm! That change of looks between you and that guy at work or that platonic love story with your high school best friend isn't a fairy tale that will end up in the altar. Give yourself time to know the new "candidates" completely and don't jump to big idealizations yet.
3. No replays
Probabilities are high when it comes to you looking for someone with similar characteristics and looks. You have got to remember that repeating patterns is a big problem, a big no. Nostalgia or habit can lead you going out with a man or woman who is similar to your ex. In these moments, don't forget the reasons for your separation. Trust me, you won't want to get in the same mess all over again. It is not worth it.
4. Put your walls down
Stop overthinking everything, let go, be chill, and let your guards down. I know it is easy to think that you might get hurt again, and in that way, shut yourself down. I am here to tell you that because your past relation went downhill doesn't mean the next will too. You aren't doomed to fail on relationships, never think that. Allow yourself to think that you deserve a good relationship because you do. Not everyone is out there to hurt you, let them show you what their real intentions are themselves.
How To Start Dating Again After Divorce
What do I wear? How do I do my hair? Am I going to have sex on this first date? Who will pay the bill? Do these questions sound familiar? I know they do, the only difference is that the last time you did them to yourself you were probably in your twenties, and some time has gone by since then, maybe a lot.
Things have changed from then, and dating might seem foreign field for you after such a long time. You might think that dating doesn't exist for you any longer; you just went through a divorce, you may have kids, and it doesn't seem that exciting as it did before. That is where you are completely wrong, my friend: you will always be on time for meeting people and dating, never question that.
If you are currently divorced, we have the best advice on getting back to dating and bringing that spark into your life again, cause again: it is never too late.
1. Take advantage of technology
After years of being married, it is very likely that you are lost and that you don't know how to take advantage of social media or dating apps and websites. There are so many options which will make finding someone new easier, but that doesn't mean it won't be hard. You really got to dig up on these platforms and start mastering them. After all, there are one of the best ways to find dates nowadays, and where you can possibly find someone with the same interests as you.
2. Don't stay trapped
Life does go on after divorces, the reason why staying home will just make the years go by for you. Get out of that shell and don't doubt on looking for someone new! Dating after divorce is the first step to getting out of that trap you are probably in.
A key point here is going for your best interests. After divorces, your children and family will probably not like the idea of you searching for someone new, but if you do want it, go ahead, and do it. Your life is only yours, and you should live it however you want to.
How To Start Dating In College
Who doesn't want to date when they have just started college; it is an incredibly exciting period in life, and it wouldn't hurt anyone to have someone around emotionally. As exciting as it is, it can also get lonely as you might be away from home, living alone for the first time, or just needing support from someone constantly.
There is another side of college though; you might just want to have fun with someone without any strong commitments, which is completely fine, too. If these are any of your cases, follow these tips on starting to date in College:
1. Search for people with similar interests
The majority of times, College campuses are focused on a couple of related careers, which makes it way easier to find people with similar interests as yours, making talk and dating way easier, too. When in your faculty and classes, look out for single man or woman and the careers they are on depending on yours. Use that to your advantage and talk to them about projects, classes, lectures, anything you know you both share. Conversation will just flow out smoothly.
2. Use your freedom
It is College after all; you probably live alone, without restrictions, relying on your own money and decisions, and completely free from anything. Use this to your advantage and plan cool and different dates as you might not have, for example, a curfew anymore. You are now an adult, and you might be able to do more things than what you were able to do under your parents' roof. Dare to try new things with your new dates!
3. Be direct
In College, everyone is a mature adult, or well, most of all. That is why you are now able to be direct without any shyness when it comes to asking people out. Seriously, there is nothing hotter than confident men or women who dare to ask out without any childish tip- toeing. At least, that what everyone expects from a College student, meet their standards and be direct!
Apps That Can Help You Start Dating
Technology basically runs most of our life's aspects, and dating doesn't stay behind. Dating apps have been developed in order to create flings, dates, casual relationships, or actual serious ones between two people deeply in love, in any part of the world, 24 hours a day, the 365 days of the year. What's best? You will be able to make personal connections with people who have similar interests as you, which makes a relationship 10 times better.
Of course, there are tons of dating apps out there, and it can be overwhelming to choose just one and expect success from it. That is why we tell you our top 3 dating apps.
Of course we had to mention Tinder; the most famous dating app out there. I know that I probably don't have to say much about it, as you may already know pretty much everything, but Tinder is a real recommendation when it comes to dating apps. With its famous swaps, it has managed to unite a lot of people, and certainly will, for you too.
Happn is one of the best dating apps that have the best results when it comes to creating matches between people. It has a similar approach as Tinder, but it works with a different matching criteria, as it shows you users you cross by in your day to day. After this, you will be able to start with the person by liking their timeline if you are interested in them. Saying this, you will meet people that are in the same pub as you, who you just passed by in the subway or in the streets, and otherwise, never had noticed.
3. Dating by Facebook
I have the best app for my older and traditional folks out there; Dating by Facebook. This fairly new addition to the Facebook fam has proven to be extremely successful in matchmaking, specifically for older people that don't have any other social media other than Facebook. It is actually included in the Facebook App, which makes it a ton easier to set up. Check it out, now!
You can now consider yourself an expert when it comes to hopping on the dating train after a long while. Don't be afraid to do so; our tips will definitely make these events go as smooth as they can, and your experience enjoyable. Good luck!