Guide On What To Do After A Breakup Especially When It Hurts

Post-breakup: What to do next for guys and girls after a breakup

By Diana Nadim
Guide On What To Do After A Breakup Especially When It Hurts

For Guys: After A Breakup With Girlfriend

After breaking up with someone you really loved, it’s normal for you to be emotional and miserable as its part of the grieving process. This is, however, the period which you are most vulnerable to making bad decisions as you will not be thinking straight and this is why it’s important for you to know what you are supposed to do as it will help you make the right choices. The following are some of the things you can do during the breakup and after parting ways with your girlfriend.

1. Respect her decision

This is one of the most important things you can do as difficult as it might be. Respecting her decision enables you to heal faster and to avoid getting hurt further. You can, however, ask what went wrong as this will help you find some peace of mind. But avoid by all means dwelling too much on what could have been done differently or even begging for a second chance as her mind is already made up. Accepting her decision is the best thing you can do as hard as it might be.

2. Remain noble throughout

Breakups have a way of getting the worst out of us. When you allow anger to cloud your judgment the results can only be catastrophic as you might be tempted to revenge which is a huge mistake. Another undignified way of acting that is common during this period is becoming an emotional wreck - sobbing uncontrollably. You should act like a gentleman during and after the break up as the above indecorous behaviors only make your girlfriend glad that she ended things with you.

3. Do not suppress your emotions

Breakups are hard on everyone so don’t try to suppress your emotions as it will only hurt you more. Ensure you find a way of letting those raw emotions out and this is where your support system such as friends and family can help. Expressing yourself frees you but you should not overwhelm your support system by always dwelling on your feelings for weeks without end.

4. Remain active

It’s very easy for you to sink into depression after parting ways with someone you truly loved and one of the best ways of ensuring this does not happen is staying active. Hit the gym with friends and get back in shape and this will not only improve your health but it will also prepare you for life after the break up as it will improve your self-esteem. Being active allows you to refocus your energy from her and start thinking about you and this will enable you to start enjoying being single and to start meeting new people.

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Should You Get Her Back?

The question; if you should get your girlfriend back after breaking up usually depends on who broke up with whom. If you are the one who broke up with her, then you can make an effort of getting her back and hope that she still feels the same way about you. All you will need is for you to be honest with her and let her know that you made a mistake that you really regret. Even in this kind of situation, you will have to give her some space to enable her to process things.

Things get more complicated when she is the one who dumped you as in such a case you should never go after her. Chasing after being dumped by your girlfriend only makes things worse for you as you now seem to be desperate while she has already made up her mind. The best thing for you to do when you are in this kind of situation is to give her some space and use that time to work on your life. Don’t wait for her to come back just continue living your life and if she wants to come back she will make that known to you and at this point, it will be easy for you to talk about your relationship.

For Girls: After A Breakup With Boyfriend

Parting ways with someone you loved dearly will hurt no matter what you do as there is nothing that prepares you for such kind of pain. This period will represent some of the darkest days of your life which is why it’s important for you to know what you should do if you find yourself in this kind of unfortunate situation.

5. Remain respectful

This might be one of the most difficult things you have to do as especially if the break up was messy and public as you might be tempted to hit back. Avoid getting pulled into the mud as it will only hurt you more. The best thing for you to do is to accept and to respect the decision of your boyfriend and avoid talking about it in a negative way even with your friends.

2. Take time to grieve

There will be a lot of emotions after breaking up and you should never try to suppress or to pretend that you are not hurt them as this will only make things worse for you. Instead, allow yourself to feel the pain as with time, it will only make you stronger.

3. Avoid any type of contact

This move is very important as it protects your emotional wellbeing. If you were following each other on social media platforms ensure that you have blocked him as you don’t keep seeing how much fun he is having while you are struggling to move on. Your wellbeing should be your priority at this point which is why you should only focus on you.

4. Focus on yourself

After you are done grieving the end of your relationship, the next step should be to appreciate yourself. This means doing things that will make you happy and feel like a new girl once again such as going out, getting a new wardrobe, or even getting a new haircut. This step will usher in the next chapter of your life as you will now be ready to move on with your life.

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Should You Get Him Back?

You can get a boyfriend back after a breakup but just like in the case of the guys, the process will depend on who broke up with whom. The problem when it comes to getting back together with exes is usually not getting together but staying together afterward especially if the reason for your break up is not addressed.

After getting some space you should think about the reasons why you want him back and why you broke up in the first place. These are some of the things that will help you decide whether to get him back or not.

For Long-Term Relationship

Long-term relationships breakups are the worst! One of the reasons why this type of breakups hurt more than the rest is that you not only lose somebody who you deeply loved but you also lose your best friend. A long-term relationship breakup makes you feel as if life is not worth living. The following are some of the things to do after getting out of such a relationship:

1. Accept and acknowledge the pain

This is a very important step as hiding the pain you are experiencing can be very bad for your health. These feelings can eat you up to the point where you start developing suicidal thoughts. So cry if you have to; allow yourself to feel the pain and it will with time go away.

2. Learn to forgive

You cannot be able to move on with your life without being able to forgive yourself and the person who hurt you. If you keep blaming yourself and other people for your pain you will never heal, so learn to forgive and you will have peace of mind.

3. Have a strong support system

This is one of the situations that you cannot get out of alone; you will need to be surrounded by your close friends and family who will offer you the support you need. You can easily get depressed when going through such a traumatizing experience and having a strong support system ensures that you not only distracted but you remain positive throughout.  

4. Focus on yourself and your goals

For you to be able to move on with your life you will have to focus on improving yourself and following your dreams. Pursuing your goals and being successful is the best therapy as it keeps you preoccupied, it reminds you that you are still the best and there is still life ahead.


We all experience breakups at some point in our life and they all have the same characteristics - they really hurt. A break up means that you have lost someone who was once dear to you and this creates a void that makes life seem not worth living. Knowing what to do when in such instances makes all the difference. One thing you have to know is that this knowledge will not make your pain to be any less but it will definitely help you heal quickly.