It’s advisable to take things slow, with established rules and boundaries for yourself as you begin dating someone. For a positive and nurturing relationship to build, it takes two people who are independent and emotionally secure without any rush to make things happen. Patience is the key, which means instead of running in yourself, let things come your way naturally. If you’re someone who leaps ahead and falls way deep in love early on in your relationships, this article is for you!
Reasons Why Do I Fall in Love So Easily
We’re meant to love and be loved, which is why it’s okay to feel desperate for a relationship when you’ve been single for a long time. Sometimes, if you're extremely keen to start something up with someone, your mind tricks you into thinking that your potential partner is the absolute perfect person. That’s infatuation, and we mistake that for real love. If you start to feel the same emotions for someone, that he might be the one, hold on to that feeling but don’t let yourself go that fast. Enjoy the process and over time, you’ll know if your heart’s assumptions were true.
2. Emotional Emptiness
Some moments in life make us feel like there’s a hollow gap in our lives, and something is just missing emotionally. Our mind’s reaction to this, a pretty immature one, is the thought that we need to find a person to be with right now. This sets the stage for believing that you’re starting to fall for someone, which couldn’t possibly be true unless you’ve known the person for a long while. Without even knowing who they really are, the excitement to just find someone to fill the void, pushes us to open up and attach our feelings with them. That void, however, can only be filled by us ourselves, no one else.
3. The Desire to Live Life to the Fullest
Media portrays love in a fashion which communicates that there’s nothing worthwhile in life if you haven’t found your love yet. If you take that thought seriously, it could create a pressure to take steps that lead to falling in love, the fake kind. There’s nothing wrong to feel like you’re ‘missing out’, because we honestly should experience all the good things we can while we’re here. But risking your emotional health to achieve it in a rush wouldn’t accomplish much, because love can never be found by intention. Be a bit cautious, keep living a balanced life and know that everything will happen in its own time – who knows, you may not be ready for it yet.
4. Not Realizing Your Worth
The inherent need for love hard-wired within us can sometimes make us forget what we’re worth. Remember when you were a kid and pictured how your life partner will surely be just like a Disney prince/princess? Where did that fantasy go as you grew up? You could sometimes get so pressurized by the desire to be in a relationship with a certain individual that you forget your own pre-set standards for the prince-charming of your dreams. Make sure you don’t make any compromises by falling in love too quickly, without even making sure if he’s someone you’re looking for!
5. Not Learning from Past Experiences
If you’re someone who just doesn’t quit on love easily, a ‘hopeless romantic’ as some may say, this reason may the most relevant to you. Those of us who tend to quickly start ‘loving’ others seem to be following a given pattern through their relationships. We’re emotionally sensitive, but somehow not even the most crushing forms of heartbreak are enough to steer us away from our romantic drive. But the patterns of the past have no other purpose than to teach you lessons from the mistakes you’ve made, especially if you’ve experienced negative outcomes again and again. Your desire to love someone deeply may be the culprit for making you go after the ones who don’t suit you.
Characteristics of Falling in Love Too Easily
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with letting your guard down, being vulnerable, and falling in love with someone else. But if all these things happen at a dangerously fast pace, there’s a chance for it all to end in a brutal whirlwind of shattered dreams and a broken heart. Love is a serious emotion, an incredibly powerful one. At all costs, you must protect your feelings by making sure that you fall for a person who’s reciprocating the same feelings towards you. Make sure they’re there to commit to you for a healthy and lasting bond before you commit yourself to them.
How Do I Stop Falling in Love So Easily?
1. Being Totally Honest with Yourself
Honestly answering a few reality-check questions can help a lot with this common problem. Experiencing romantic dates with a brand-new partner, accompanied by physical intimacy and kissing under fireworks could easily form the illusion of falling in love, but it’s not necessarily the real thing. Sit down and honestly decipher each of your feeling; ask yourself if what you’re feeling is just excitement or genuine love? The first few months could seriously trap you in an illusion, keep your head straight and be honest with yourself to solve this problem.
2. Creating Strict Boundaries
Boundaries can play a crucial role in keeping a relationship’s pace under control. They help keeping your heart in a reaffirming and safe state. Continuously spending days with a new partner can easily make any couple feel as if they’re the meant-to-be main characters in a Rom-Com, but it’s not always healthy as these assumptions aren’t based on the truth, but mere feelings of excitement.
Boundaries will ensure that you take time apart from the other person, giving you time to build a clear perspective of the direction you’re going in. Seeing each other once or twice a week in the start of a relationship is a healthy threshold.
3. Talk to Your Friends and Family
No one knows you and your needs better than your family and loved ones. Request them to keep a caring eye on how you deal with your feelings as they flow freely during this relationship. Let them know that you’re trying to take things slow, and sit down and talk to them about it every few weeks. An honest opinion from people who are close to you will always help, they’ll let you know whether you’re diving too deep too fast. It’s an effective way to keep your expectations within the realistic boundaries.
4. Keep an Eye Out for Red Flags
In new relationships, the ability to point out and identify the dangerous red flags is vital. You can’t afford to ignore your love interest’s flaws in the start of a relationship. It’s easy to be blinded by the perfection of the image that they’ll portray to you when the relationship is new, which is one of the most emotionally harmful mistakes you can make. No one is perfect! Everyone has flaws, it’s just a matter of deciding whether you can live with them or not. This is another good reason to talk to your family about him/her and get a second opinion before you take your feelings to the next stage.
5. Be in Control of Your Emotions
You’re the ultimate master of your emotions in the end. It’s true, when it comes to feelings of love, they really can hit you out of the blue. But choosing to be in control from the beginning can make a huge difference in your emotional defensive mechanisms. Realize that just because you feel something according to you, it doesn’t mean it’s truly there. See the bigger picture – how many days has it been since your first date? Do you really know this person that well? Master your emotions, say no to falling hard for someone early on!
There’s no doubt about how absolutely miraculous true love can be. All good things take time, and genuine love is definitely too wonderful to be achieved within a couple of weeks. Realize the truth of the matter and establish serious boundaries that remind you of the facts, not fantasies. Taking things slow doesn’t always have to feel like a chore. Think of it this way, you’re preserving it for later – it’ll feel a lot better when you know you’re going in the right direction with the right person.