The Reason Why It Is So Hard To Get Over Our First Love

How is it that we are often not able to get over our first love

By Evelyn
The Reason Why It Is So Hard To Get Over Our First Love

Facts about First Love

First love... do you have one? Do you remember yours? Is it a bittersweet memory or is it just sweet? Usually, memories of first love have a very special place in our hearts. Some say that first love is unforgettable, no matter what age you are, you can be transported to that special time just by hearing a song, or catching a particular smell (that old perfume maybe?) or a sense of deja vu. Sometimes it catches you totally off-guard and just like that, you're back there with your first love.

People define or understand the first love in different ways. Who was your first love? Was that boy that gave you your first kiss or your first sexual experience? Or was it that sweet boy who by just being himself captured your heart completely?. First love could make such an impression in your life that you can be happily married and live a full life but you still remember fondly all the time spend and all the memories made with your first love.

Have you asked yourself why first loves are so special? Why do they make such a lasting impression in our hearts? Is it because they happen when our hearts were still so young and innocent? Or is it because, even though the flame died, those memories are such that they keep some embers aglow making it very hard to forget. They're always there, in a special part of your heart.

Want to know some facts about first loves? Maybe these facts can answer some of those questions. smiley

First love is magic, it just happens once

The allure of first love is that it can't be duplicated, it's special because it's a first. You won't have a second "first love". So like most firsts, it'll hold a very special place in your heart, in your personal history. Before it, your heart was like a clean canvass, when first love arrived it was the beginning or your heart's articulation of romantic feelings and that is a huge deal. You know, to be able to feel and show love for someone else, sometimes it's overwhelming.

The chances of first love to survive for a long time are next to none because it happened in the teen years (when we were so young and so innocent) and yet, that is what makes it so special. You entered the relationship with no baggage or past experiences, nothing negative touched it. It's no wonder why it can still bring such good memories right? 

First love is loaded with great memories

That's the reason why it makes such a lasting impression. Some of those memories prove very hard to dismiss or forget. It's hard to forget your first love, and that could prove bad for some people because they get stuck there (can't let go or heal) and that could ruin all the relationships they have after.

You don't want that right? So treasure all those memories and store them in a special place in your heart. That way you can recall them once in a while to put a smile in your face.

It can shape how you see love for the rest of your life

Fist love is an experience that can change your life forever. It can shape the way you see love and the way you experienced it further on, it can set a pattern. All that romance and excitement that first love can bring to you will definitely change the outcome of your future relationships, just grab hold of the good things not the bad ones.

Reasons on why it is so hard getting over your first love

Have you heard Tim McGraw's song "Something like that"? He says it all with these lyrics: "Like an old photograph time can make a feeling fade, but the memory of a first love never fades away." Getting over a first love is a hard thing to do, we bet you knew it was hard you just didn't know how hard it was until it happened to you.

In that moment of time, you're in love, for you this is it. Eventually, things didn't work and you had to end it, you know you did the right thing but still, your heart still wishes you were with him. Things are going to be like that for a while. You want to know why? We'll give you some reasons why you're having such a hard time getting over your first love.

You miss the feelings you experienced when you were together

Sometimes it's not really him that you miss, it's more the feelings and emotions you felt when you two were together. First love, it's exciting. You're experiencing all these new emotions for the first time and it makes you feel special, someone loves you and you love him back. That is such a thrill, your levels of dopamine and adrenaline are at its max, so when all that's taken away, withdrawal kicks in and it feels real. 

Eventually, this discomfort will pass and you'll be able to function again. You'll find someone else but that experience is going to stay in a small part of your heart forever.

Because your first love is innocent and pure

The innocence of first love is one of the main reasons why it's hard to forget. You didn't have any expectations about it, you just went with pure emotions and let your heart lead the way. There was no malice or manipulation, it was a time when everything was perfect and your outlook on life was so good.

Nostalgia plays a great part in this, you'll always romanticize your first love (you feel very protective about it) and since this blissfulness can't be replicated, that is hard to accept.  

Because (at that time) it was your "full-time job"

Your first love was carefree, you didn't have any grown-up responsibilities (bills to pay, trouble at work, career changes, family issues). You probably just had to do well in class and all your free time was spend immersed in him, in your relationship. Your "job" was to enjoy each and every moment you two spent together being in love.

As you grow old, life gives you responsibilities (sometimes it burdens you with them), so no matter how much in love you are (at present time), you'll never experience that carefree state of mind that your first love had.

You're afraid you're never going to find anyone as good

This is a myth of course, but you're convinced that there's not going to be anyone as wonderful. You're also convinced that you're not going to experience something like that again. You're not wrong in that first love is unique and doesn't happen twice but love will get to you eventually, it may not be as innocent and pure as your first one, but it'll be wonderful too.

Quotes about First Love

We have established that first loves are unforgettable for a lot of reasons. You can get sentimental when you think about, some embers still glow and they could spark th most lovely memories once in a while. To help you reminiscence and get you a little inspired we thought to leave you with some first love quotes for your enjoyment.

"He smiles at me, and I am suddenly seventeen again-- the year I realize that love doesn't follow the rules, the year I understood that nothing is worth having so much as something unattainable." - Jodi Picoult

"Something about first love defies duplication. Before it your heart is blank. Unwritten. After, the walls are left inscribed and graffitied. When it ends, no amount of scrubbing will purge the scrawled oaths and sketched images, but sooner or later,  you find that there's space for someone else, between the words and in the margins." - Tammara Webber

"We think of first love as sweet and valuable, a blessed if hazardous condition." - Roger Ebert

"The magic of our first love is our ignorance that it can never end." - Benjamin Disrael

"The first stab of love is like a sunset, a blaze of color - oranges, pearly pinks, vibrant purples..." - Anna Godbersen. The Luxe

Summary

First love is sweet and innocent and pure and carefree. It's embedded in our hearts and our minds because it reminds us of that time when you saw life as something wonderful and full of beautiful colors. The memories we have of the first love are assigned to a very special place in our hearts, they refused to die. We love to take them out once in a while so that we can be transported to that time and space when you saw life through rose-tinted glasses.

We hope that your first love experience was a good one, one that when you think about it, it puts a smile on your face and hope in your heart.
 

Related Article:  I Fall in Love Too Easily and Here's What to Take Note
 It’s advisable to take things slow, with established rules and boundaries for yourself as you begin dating someone.

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