8 Ways To Learn Self-Love And Be Good To Yourself

Learn how to practice self-love before loving someone else

By Kimmy
8 Ways To Learn Self-Love And Be Good To Yourself

The definition of self-love

Do you love yourself enough? Are you doing what's best for you or what's best for others? What exactly is self-love and how to you achieve it? These are all great questions. It happens so often that people forget how to love themselves because they don't think they're worth it.

Self-love means putting your oen well-being and needs as your top priority, making sure what you do is truly what makes you happy, and not because it only makes someoen else happy, while making you sad. It also means having high self-esteem for yourself and knowing that you're worth it. You can always work on yourself if you think there's something that you can improve on, but you should never think you are less.

How to practice self-love?

1. Write down one thing that you're proud of everyday

It doesn't have to be as grand as 'saving the planet'. Just write down a little thing that you did today that you're proud of. It can be simple and it doesn't even have to involve making someone else happy. It can be 'I calculated how much was my grocery by heart in under 10 seconds'. That's something to be proud of already I'd say, especially for a math dummy like myself.

2. Don't be shy to use your strength

So many people are stuck in a dead-end job just for the money. They are not doing what they want and at the same time, afraid of letting go the money they're earning, believing they won't do any better than this. Financial concerns are certainly very real. However, you should always try to do what you're good at. You may be stuck in an office job during weekdays but you're an aspiring photographer, you should always volunteer to help out in events and stuff during weekends even if you don't get paid for them. Your experience will accumlate to be your strongest asset and it's a great self-esteem boost for you to love your life more if you're doing what you love.

3. Be mindful and aware of your needs

A keey step to practising self-love, is first, to understand what you love about yourself and what your needs are. Maybe you want a strong career rather than being a stay-home mom, then giving up your job for your husband doesn't exactly qualify as self-love.

It's hard to love yourself truly when you get so lost in all your thoughts and can't figure out who you are and what you want. You're just going around in loops and have no goal to fight for, in that case, you might find it hard to love yourself because you don't even know who you are.

So step one, take some time to figure yourself out. Find out your dreams and your goals so you can fight for them, and earning your love for yourself in the process.

4. Put your own needs first

It doesn't make you a selfish person just because you put your own needs before others. You can be selfless only if it makes you happy. There's no reason to sacrifice your own happiness to make someone else happy. Your parents might want you to be a lawyer or a doctor but you just want to be a bartender because it's fun. You may feel like caving when they challenge your choice. But this is your life to live, don't live your life to make someone else happy if it makes you sad. You can never satisfy everyone. You can only put your needs first so you can be happy yourself before spreading the joy and happiness around.

Exercises to practice self-love

5. One good deed a day

Try to do a small act of kindness everyday. Again, it doesn't have to be big. Keep some cat or dog food in your purse always when you go out and just feed the strays when you see them. Or just help an old lady cross the road. Even the smallest act of kindness can really make someone's day, and help us realise that we all have the power to create a beautiful world. This ascertains our self-worth and allows us to love ourselves more as we now feel good (or better) about ourselves.

6. Make a date with yourself

Make the perfect little date with yourself! After all, who knows you better than you? We all have the image of the perfect date in our head. Don't wait until someone else makes it happen for you. Make it happen yourself. Take yourself out on a nice date by the beach, with wine and candle lights. Book a hotel room and enjoy roses on the bed and a nice shower. We all need that every once in a while.

You don't need smoeone to make you whole or take you on a date. You can always do it yourself. Know what you're worth and make sure you remind yourself that.

7. Meditation

Meditation has been proven by many scientistst to be a good way of calming down. Some believe that it allows your soul to rejoin your body and just connects everything that was once disconnected. Meditation helps you get rid of all the bad energy and thoughts and allow the good ones to flow in.

Make at least an hour per week to meditate. Find a quiet room, alone by yourself, away from your phone and all electronic devices and start letting go of all the bad thoughts that have been lingering on your head the past week. You will find yourself refreshed and happier after.

8. Take a walk

No matter how busy you are, taking little walks are always important. Just take a walk in your neighborhood for 10 mins, to calm yourself before going home, to let go of the stress from work or school. It's important to not bring home the stress because it will only accumulate and does you no good.

Quotes on self-love

1. I'm always searching for someone to love me, but I can love myself too

There's no better love than self-love. It's easy to forget about that when we're too busy searching for someone else to love us. The only person that should always love you is you, no matter what. You can't count on others to love you forever, you can only count on yourself.

2. Loving myself opens up a lot more doors than I knew existed

It's amazing how different your world can be once you learnt how to love yourself properly.

3. If confidence is the key to success, then self-love is the key to confidence

It all starts from within, you will never sucuess if you don't believe in yourself, and you can only believe in yourself if you love yourself.

4. You can't learn to love others if you don't know how to love yourself

A very wise sentence. Can't ask someone else to complete you if you don't know how to complete yourself first.

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Self-love books that are worth the read

1. Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant

Source: http://Amazon

Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It - Kindle edition by Kamal Ravikant

Written by someoen that once went through the same struggle himself. Author Ravikant gave a talk to scientists about the importance of self-love and how it can truly save your life. Without self-love, it's easy for people to doubt their self-worth, hence, it's easy for people to take their own life because they don't think they're worth it.\\

If you once thought self-love isn't important and you can live without loving yourself, read this book and think again, maybe it will save your life.

2. The Self-Love Experiment: Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself by Shannon Kaiser

Source: http://Amazon

The Self-Love Experiment: Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself

Putting yourself first can be scary at times, especially if it means you have to put someone else second. We never want to disappoint people we care about. This book teaches us how to balance our fear of disappointing others and achieving our dreams. You shouldn't be afraid to do what's best for you, even if it may be hard. This books offers you the solutions and how to think positively when the situation arises.

Don't self-sabotage because you can't find a good solution to your problems. There're many others out there going through the same. Try to read the book and see how others fight the problem.

3. You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay

Source: http://Amazon

You Can Heal Your Life - Kindle edition by Louise L. Hay. Religion & Spirituality

Love is an intangible thing. You can tough it, but you can feel it in your heart. It's also a powerful and magical tool to heal your life, and your soul. Self-love allows you to ascend your soul and find the ultimate peace in everything. Some things should never bother you but it may be hard to see. By finding self-love and letting go, it will all become clear.


In a world where everyone is busy chasing after their one true love, most forget to love themselves. Most don't even realise they need to work on their self-love. Loving yourself is what makes you beautiful and let you shine. No matter how hard it is at times, don't even forget what you're worth and don't let yourself drown in doubts.

Follow our tips and read the books we've recommended you to work on your self-love and shine as the most beautiful soul!

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