Signs of Affair in marriage and indications of an affair at work
Affairs happening at the workplace are a common thing nowadays. Many men and women are having an affair with a co-worker. The long hours spent at the office or the business trips or the team projects provide tons of opportunities for temptation and lots of men fall and start an affair. There are other factors that could play a role in him falling to temptation like a dissatisfied marriage of family issues. We're not excusing infidelity we're just stating facts.
Reasons for your husband having an affair at the workplace are many. It could be that he has put some much effort to fulfill his career that your marriage has taken a backseat and when he feels "alone" he seeks solace in a co-worker, basically, he's finding in this co-worker what he's not finding at home (this could be true or it could be what he's telling himself to assuage his guilt).
We're sure that being cheated on is an experience no one wants, it hurts and it puts into question a lot of things... but it's something you can't ignore. Ignoring it is not going to make it better if your gut is telling you something is amiss in your marriage take notice, it (your gut) rarely is wrong.
If you've noticed a change in your husband's behavior, you have grounds for your doubts. Those doubts are never going to be satisfied if you don't have any evidence so you need to start looking for it (there's hope in your heart that all these doubts and suspicions are baseless), nevertheless you need to look and listen.
How can you tell if your husband is having an affair with a co-worker or with someone else? You have your suspicions but are not sure and don't want to seem paranoid, there are some signs that can clue you in.
1. He's extremely happy to spend more time at work than at home
Is this your fifth-night dining alone? Does your husband's work schedule has suddenly been changed to working late almost every night? Does he even bother to let you know that's where he's going to be? How can you be sure he's really working? Pair to that notice if he's not bothered or worried about the "extra work", he's actually happy and eager that he has to stay late or even work the weekends.
If he's not complaining about the extra hours and seems excited each morning when he goes to work, you have solid grounds to be suspicious. How can someone be happy with the extra stress and exhausting hours when he can spend a nice and peaceful evening at home with you?
2. He's not taking you to work-related events anymore
You know that his company likes to include spouses and family to some social events throughout the year, but lately, he's not even talking about them, they might not even exist. When you ask him about the next event, he evades to tell you anything about it or he makes excuses why you can't come. The excuses may seem believable but since you've become suspicious, you know that there's a reason why he's not taking you anymore. He doesn't want to risk you bumping into his work affair.
How to tell the starting of an affair
Women intuition is something powerful, it's like a "spidey sense". You've come to know your husband's behaviors and quirks and everything throughout your time living together, so when there's a sudden shift in his behavior or in his daily routine or in his appearance, you're going to wonder what's happening.
It could mean nothing serious or it could mean that he's slipping and is ready to have an affair or is just in the beginning phase of it. Whatch out for the following signs, they can tell if your husband is starting an affair.
3. He's become emotionally distant
You have always been able to share everything with each other, that's part of your marriage bond. Lately, you have noticed that he's been emotionally unavailable, he's not sharing anything important with you and every time you try to share something with him, he does everything to discourage you from doing it. Communication between the two of you is deteriorating and that is never a good sign, especially in a marriage.
He finds that disconnection easier to handle, otherwise, he might be confronted with what's happening and since the affair is new he's not willing to do it.
4. A change in intimacy
He's not willing to be intimate with you, or the frequency in which you have sex have changed. In a married couple this intimacy (not just the sex) comes naturally, two people in love seek this, it's important to the relationship. But lately, he's not showing any interest and you can find any valid reason for that to happen. He's not only emotionally disconnected, but he's also physically disconnected too. That's a major red flag that you can't ignore.
Reading the body language
Body language is the unconscious movements we have when we talk. We touch our noses or turn our feet toward someone... it difficult to "lie" with your body language. Has your husband's body language giving you a feeling that he's not been honest, that something's not right?
Pay attention to these body language signs, they could mean he's having an affair.
5. His feet are turned away from you
The feet are our travel mechanism and when we want to go somewhere, that's where we point them. It's not a conscious movement, it's an instinctive habit we humans have. So next time you're having a conversation, pay attention to his feet, in what direction are they pointing? If his feet are pointing towards the door, it means he wants to get out of there be any other place but there with you.
6. He's constantly touching his face, nose or mouth
When a child is telling a lie, they tend to cover their mouth, that's a sure tell he or she is not telling the truth about some mischieve. The face touching is the adult version, pay attention next time you're having a discussion with your husband, if you ask a question about his whereabouts and he starts to scratch his nose or starts to stroke his face while giving you an answer that means he's not been honest about it.
He's probably not looking at you too, he's avoiding eye contact. All these are typical signs of a liar or a cheater.
How to tell the ending of an affair
You have your suspicions that he's having an affair, you've noticed the change in his attitude, in his wardrobe, you've put up with his excuses for being late or missing the kid's school event. You don't actually have any proof but your gut is telling you that he's having an affair.
Lately, you've noticed yet another change, maybe he has seen the light and realized what a colossal mistake he has done and has decided to end the affair. How can you tell? Are there any signs? These couple of things could clue you in that the affair has ended.
7. He is much more attentive
Now the turn is toward you, he's being more attentive these days. He is more interested in what's happening with you and with the children. You're seeing and sensing a desire on his part to reconnect with you, a desire to reunite, to work on the marriage.
That's an attempt on his part to try to understand what compelled him to have that affair and what he can do to make the marriage work again.
8. He's willing to do anything to regain your trust
He knows that there's a breach of trust. Affairs are surrounded by lies and secrets and he said and kept plenty of those while having the affair. He wants to make up for that so that you can start trusting him again. Now he's more accountable, he's telling you where he's going to be and with whom. He's answering all your calls and messages and is willing for you to check his phone. He's now basicallly, an open book.
Finding out your husband has stray and is having an affair with another woman is always a punch to the heart. No one wants to experience that. They say ignorance is bliss but in the case of an affair, you'll do better if you pay attention to the signs. Once you have enough proof that the affair is indeed true, you have options.
There are a lot of marriages that have survived an affair, it takes a lot of work to reconstruct the trust between the couple but if both spouses are willing to give it a try it can be done. You also have the option of ending it, very painful too, but if you don't think you can trust your husband again, it will be better for the both of you to go your separate ways.