How can you be a better girlfriend?
There is no better feeling than love. However, the significance of love lies in its details. You may not have all the qualities your man wants for his spouse. There are small things you may take as insignificant but they are what will make him stay with you. You already know that you are meant to be your boyfriend’s best friend, soul mate, lover, and so on. These are great aspects of a relationship but there are particular real qualities you should exhibit to be a better girlfriend. Most girls overlook these qualities but they are the things that can make your boyfriend stick with you forever. Don’t you want to be the best girlfriend ever? It’s not that easy because you are just human and are bound to make some mistakes. Start with the basics of becoming a better partner: things that entail understanding and being rational. Your man may not pick up some changes like your new hairstyle or dress code but there are qualities he cannot miss when it comes down to the girl he loves. It is the small things that count- those that remind him that your love for him still holds. These are the things that will make him love you more each passing day.
1) A good girlfriend knows how to compliment his man
Do not expect your man to ask for your compliments but it is something he craves secretly. Maybe he is a bit insecure about his looks and he doesn’t get much validation like you do. If he posts a selfie on Instagram, be kind enough to like it and give a good comment. He may not have a great number of fans to comment on his looks and you are the only source of encouragement he has; do not let him down. Load him up with compliments about his new shirt, his physique transformation after hard gym workouts, his haircut, and his eye colors that drive you crazy. That is how you will be a better mate!
2) Text him good morning
If your boyfriend loves you, he will be thrilled to see your text message the first thing when he wakes up. Of course, it would be much better if he wakes up beside you; but since you are not yet married, a good morning text would do great. This is a way of reminding him how much he means to you- that he is on your mind the moment you wake up. A simple text in the morning can make a huge difference in your relationship and will go a long way in keeping the fire burning. Don’t just say good morning; wish him a great day ahead and he will be thinking about you all day long.
3) Ask for his counsel
Asking for advice from your man is like showering him with love and adoration. It is a man’s desire to feel helpful, knowing that he has something better to offer not only the society but the people he loves. He has an innate duty to add value to your life and the way to help him fulfill this obligation is by soliciting his counsel and views on things that challenge you. If you have any questions related to your relationship or anything else, feel free to ask for his insights. Even though sometimes you got the answers, just share with him and he will light up any chance he provides a feedback. Know that your man is a solution-oriented person and he is not afraid of challenges. Believe it or not, he will want to solve just any problem you are going through be it an upset, frustration, emotional support, or financial matter. Sometimes he will do so even without you asking him, in which case you must not be mad at him. Finally, let him know how much you appreciate his advice.
4) Show better emotional control
It’s totally understandable that a woman is an emotional being but the last thing you should be is a roller coaster of emotions. It is normal to feel upset, anxious, overjoyed or pissed off in the first 30 seconds of an unexpected scenario. But if you want to be a better girlfriend, try to express your feelings in a rational manner. Even amidst adversity, maintain a stable attitude and you will achieve a fruitful relationship in the long-term. The key is holding in the crazy actions. There is that crazy side of you that if you reveal, you might put an end to your blossoming relationship and you will be left feeling miserable for blowing things up. In case you get mad, take a break and stay away from your boyfriend and he will understand. If you feel like exploding, excuse yourself and keep distance to help you calm down as you rationalize the situation. It is very wrong to act when things are heated because that is when words you don’t mean come out of your mouth- and there’s no way to take them back. Taking a moment to calm down your adrenaline level brings back your senses before blowing your top.
5) Be jovial when around him
A woman in love is easy to spot; she lights up anytime she sees his man. This gives a man a great feeling knowing that someone is in love with him. Your boyfriend will appreciate a glow in your eyes whenever you meet- it seems insignificant but it means the world to him. He feels good when you cheer right along with him, whether or not you care about what’s going on say a football match. He will appreciate when you seem excited over small things, smile, and laugh uncontrollably. Your man will love how you are able to find joy even in the simplest things. There is a kind of pleasure that runs through his heart whenever he sees you excited. What could be more joyful than finding pleasure in your partner’s joy?
6) You have a duty to respect your boyfriend
Respect is among the virtues that reinforce any relationship. It is especially true if your boyfriend holds you as a potential spouse. No man would want to spend the rest of his life with a disrespectful woman. If you want to be a better girlfriend, you would not call him names or pin him down by highlighting his insecurities. There is nothing awful like hurting your man’s ego- if you try to lower his self-esteem, someday he will get back at you and you won’t like it. Do not say or do things you know you cannot take back. It doesn’t matter how angry you are, always keep your gloves on. Bite your tongue or walk away if that’s what it takes to show respect. Respect entails so much from being faithful to talking nicely to him when he’s around his friends. It means you adore your man just the way he is- poor or rich; older or younger than you; or whether he is a slow learner or a quick learner.
7) Who said a girlfriend cannot initiate physical affection?
A man loves to know that his woman desires him. He doesn’t have to be always the one lighting up the intimacy. Show him how irresistible he is when; that he turns you on and you simply cannot get enough of his kisses, caresses, and how he makes love you. You are his intimate friend so why not seduce and flirt with him? Touch his erogenous zones whenever you get a chance (not in public though) and initiate intercourse. Seeing you aroused is a great turn-on for him.
8) Show him better support and approval
A man needs to feel that he has a lady by his side; a girlfriend who believes in him and appreciates him for the great guy he is. He finds comfort in when you assure him that you will stand by his side whether he fails or succeeds, and particularly during failure (this is the moment he is most vulnerable). Your support must be genuine for him to feel on top of the world. You have no idea what your approval means to him; he can do almost anything. Never starve a man of your approval because it might be the only driving force he needs to continue with his life projects. In case you are disappointed in him, be careful with your critics; not cripple him or make him feel like a loser. For his dreams, be supportive because you will also need him to support your dreams. It is your duty as his future spouse to help him discover who he really is as he tries to achieve his life goals. If you believe in each other and find your ways, a time will come when you’ll share the celebrations.
9) Work towards better intimacy
If you know that your guy is great in bed, why not let him know through naughty texts? Lovemaking should starts even before you roll with him in bed. If you have planned a date late in the evening at his place, build the anticipation during the day by sending him flirty messages. A good girlfriend has a duty to make her guy feel sexy and desire her all day long. If you keep him turned an all day long, be assured that you’ll have a great lovemaking session later in the evening. There is so much your man wants in bed and you have a duty to spice up things by trying out new stuff to fulfill his sexual fantasies. If you want your sexual relationship to stay alive, be very open and show vulnerability in his arms. Find out what he finds amazing in bed and let him know what makes you feel good.
10) Ask him what you want without nagging
There is a way you can make a request and make your man feel good at the same time. It is his desire to see you happy if he truly loves you and you must not be afraid to tell him exactly what you want. If he doesn’t know how to make you happy, he will lack a driving force that is most crucial in a relationship. As long as you ask in the right way, he will be pleased to make you happy. Avoid lectures, nags, making him feel guilty, or embarrassing him. The right way to make a request entails telling him in a loving manner what you want. Suppose you want him to spend more time on foreplay, you can say something like, “I enjoy it when you kiss me for more than 20 minutes before we make love” instead of “why don’t you kiss me anymore?” He will be pleased to deliver what makes you happy in bed. Trying to lecture your boyfriend is like telling him that he’s a failure. You should not scold him like a child no matter what he does. Once again, correct him in a loving manner with a calm and sexy voice.
11) Be a better cheerleader
Your soul mate needs you to be his number one fan. When you cheerlead for him, he feels encouraged and supported. Believe in him every time he has a challenge ahead especially one that he doubts he can tackle- remind him that he has greater strength than he thinks. Be the woman who sees the good in every aspect of her boyfriend and he will thank God every day for having found you. Inside his heart, he wonders if he has what it takes to be your man and as his girlfriend, you must inculcate the confidence he requires as a man to succeed in life. It is not about getting his attention but rather it’s the encouragement and respect he craves for. Let him hear it from you that he will make it through a tough project. Be his helper and cheer him up in his talents. As you hang out with him, stop reminding him about what he must change about himself even when it’s true. You must choose your battles intelligently and incline more towards adding value in his life. Being his number one cheerleader is one of the greatest things you can do for your lover.
12) Appreciate him for the little things he does
How will your guy know that he is always in your mind? It’s by appreciating his least of gestures. If he buys you a flower vase, a doll or some chocolates, appreciate him always. Show your gratitude as it is one of the greatest motivators a man craves for. Make him feel like a winner by expressing genuine appreciation. Note that you must not expect gifts from him as if you are entitled, so take it as a privilege if you get some. Appreciate not only what he does nut also who he is- his values, traits, ambitions, undertakings etc. It is about the things you love about your boyfriend and do not assume that he knows because he might not even realize. Appreciation is a powerful relationship skill you should master if you want to be a better girlfriend.
13) Be a fun companion
A man is an adventurous being and would want to do a lot of fun things with his girlfriend or future spouse. Your relationship is not complete if it lacks an element of fun. Note that your perception about fun can be different from his. Your guy longs to conquer, adventure, explore, and go wild. This is what fun means to him and there is no better person to accompany him than you (his future spouse) in his wild undertakings. To adventure with him, stay out of feelings and emotions, go on a trip and overcome physical hurdles together- that is his definition of fun. However, don’t expect wild and crazy stuff on each and every date you have with him. Be willing to change things up but no matter the situation, your duty is being a fun companion. Enjoy your adventures with your man and have a blast.
14) Your boyfriend needs some breathing space
It might sound confusing to hear the word space. It doesn’t mean that your relationship is between a rock and a hard place; only that he requires time to re-energize himself. Unlike you who wants to feel connected all the time, your man needs some alone time in a relationship. Of course, he cares about you and wants you to be his spouse some day but space is imperative for him to process his feelings and thoughts. It is thus healthy according to him. He might take time before he communicates what’s bothering him and if you give him a break, he might surprise you with a heart-to-heart talk. Do not forget that you are not the only thing in his life- he has a job, relatives, and classes to attend to. In as much as he adores your relationship with him, he also wants other aspects of his life to go smoothly so you cannot suffocate him with love matters only. Let him have a great time with his guy friends and explore other things in life so he can become a better man, which will be for the benefit of your relationship. As a matter of fact, you should have guidelines concerning how often you should see each other. Both of you need the freedom as individuals and as a couple. His hobbies and other friends are not threats per see; you must encourage them. The idea is to maintain a balance that a healthy relationship requires.
Things You Must Not Do If You Want To Be A Better Girlfriend
15) Do not give advice if he hasn’t asked for it
Most girls assume that it is their duty to give opinions and advice to their men. However, men are completely different. While he prides in supplying his advice, he doesn’t always need your opinion, unless he asks for it. If he hasn’t asked for your point of view concerning his life, keep it to yourself because he doesn’t need it.
16) Do not be an all-time critic girlfriend
He takes any suggestion or opinion that you give as a critique. If you didn’t know, he takes those small comments that you keep making negatively if he hasn’t asked for them. And if you keep on criticizing him, he will feel less of a man for you. The best thing to do is to make your opinions less judgmental and more supportive.
17) Don’t let your phone distract your good moments
Keep off your phone whenever you are together. Do you ever wonder how life used to be before cell phones evolved? All girls were probably better girlfriends as they paid more attention to their men. With a phone at hand, it is easier to get sidetracked during an important conversation than when talking without a distraction.
18) Do not expect him to be perfect
Your man will make mistakes once in a while and you must not make a big deal out of it. It is embarrassing for a man to make a mistake, so do not try to pull him down. Adjust your expectations if you want to be a great girlfriend. He might forget your birthday, and that doesn’t mean he has stopped loving him. Be forgiving and understand him because he is just human.
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19) Do not talk to him like you would to your girlfriend
He is your boyfriend, not your female friend. Save the girl talk for when you meet with other girls. You don’t need to explain how you bought your new dress or some rumors about your new workmate. When you are with your man, look for meaningful conversations that will keep you two engaged.
20) Avoid being nosy.
It is your duty to be concerned about your man but being nosy will make him irritated. You man will be upset once in a while and not open up to you. In such a situation, leave him alone and don’t force him to explain what’s going on. Remember that he is not like you- he doesn’t let out his feelings and emotions any chance he gets like you do. Many times, he will keep his tribulations to himself, which is alright with him. Everyone has their own ways of dealing with life struggles and your way is not his way. When he is ready to open up, he will tell you, so be patient. All you can do is give him a hug and be a good companion.
21) Never go clingy
A good girlfriend is attentive to her man’s needs but does not follow him around like a little puppy. If you don’t feel like getting intimate, try to please him through other means without questioning him too much about what you can do to help the situation. Avoid being obsessive at all costs – he will soon get tired if you don’t change. If you start following him, he will get the impression that you don’t trust him. If you want to be a better spouse-to-be, stop looking so needy or acting like a spy.
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22) Quit playing the guessing games
Leaving him guessing will not work all the time. Tell him exactly what you want for your next birthday or the movie you want to watch on Saturday night. Men are poor at reading hints; save him the agony and be straightforward. He prefers an easier life and trying to make him guess will only confuse him. Stop saying you are okay with anything, he will have a hard time trying to figure out what would make you happy and that’s not what he wants to do for the rest of his life. Please stop giving a hard time and state what you want.
As a girlfriend, you have an important duty to accomplish in your a man’s life. Now that you know how to be a better girlfriend, do your best to make your future spouse happy! Give a try to these relationship changers if you are aspiring to be his spouse; he will never want to say goodbye.