Love is always considered to be one of the most amazing feelings in the world. Being in love is a beautiful feeling but also the most abused one. Even though falling in love is all about butterflies in the stomach and cute romantic moments in the beginning, the end is always not as smooth. Some of the worst pains we have ever experienced in life are somehow linked to love in one way or the other; either it is getting over an awful breakup or just the feeling of being rejected in general. We hate love yet have a strong craving for it because somewhere we all want to feel important and most of the time we know that no other being could love us selflessly, we still crave it for all the wrong reasons.
Reasons For Why Do I Hate Love And Relationship
1. Because you’ve questioned your self-worth and felt rejection
When we love someone, we want that love to be reciprocated by that person and if that person does not feel for us like we feel for them, it leaves us devastated and questioning our self-worth. We feel rejected and heartbroken and somewhere also start believing that we are not worthy of being loved. If you’ve felt this way, you are terrified of feeling it again and it has become one of the reasons for hating to love or hating the idea of a relationship… you need to understand that it wasn’t you, sometimes life just has other plans you aren’t at fault! I know it’s hard but you need to give another shot at love because you are deserving of every joy and happiness that comes with a happy relationship.
2. Because people made you believe that there are only one type of promise – fake promises
If you’ve been in toxic relationships before, chances are that you now believe that because of your previous bad experiences with lies and fake promises, everyone will do the same to you. I can understand how previous bad experiences can make someone hate relationships and love but trust me that all you need is one good experience to believe again.
3. Because you’ve seen way too many people use love for lust
There are many cases out there where people have used love for their lust. When you are in love, it is natural to feel attracted to that person and intimation can be a part of love. However, there is more to love than just sex and physical pleasure. If you were the victim of someone’s deception and you didn’t get a call back after spending one night with them even though you gave it you're all… it can make you feel used and leave you heartbroken. Please take your time and heal from this situation but don’t let somebody who wasn’t worthy of being loved to hold you back from giving it to someone who is.
4. Because you’ve loved the people who didn’t deserve it
We have all heard of the phrase that we do not choose who we fall in love with. This is true but we are fully capable of walking away from someone who does not have that love to give in return. Loving the wrong person can be tiring and extremely devastating. If you’ve done that, I can understand how tired you are of giving it to people who haven’t appreciate it which is why you feeling tired of loving and relationships is justified.
5. Because you feel like love makes you lose control
We’ve all experienced how powerful love can be. Love is blind is something that’s commonly said but it isn’t just that. It is a ghost that possesses you and takes over all your senses, not just your eyesight! If you’ve ever been in love with a toxic person, you know that leaving that person, even though they are mistreating you and making you feel tiny; you stay with them for the sake of love. Love makes you believe that you’d die without them! But when love goes away, you start seeing how unworthy they are and you are blown away by how you acted when you should’ve left. If this is why you want to stay away from love, it’s understandable but it doesn't change the fact that you’re missing out on being in a healthy relationship where you’d both be possessed by the same ghost and would want to do everything to fill each other’s life with love and joy.
6. Because you just don’t think it’s worth the time and emotional investment it requires
Love can be tiresome when you just don’t have the time for it! There is no doubt that love and being committed to someone required time and effort from both ends and considering your busy life with job and family, you just don’t have the time for it and keeping up with dates is draining for you. Well, then this is a reason where you shouldn’t squeeze in love if you’re already content with it. Give it a shot when you feel like it will add value to your life and not drain more of your energy.
7. Because your parents had an abusive relationship
This is a deep reason yet a very common one. If as a child, your parents had an abusive relationship with each other and you grew up seeing your mom curled up crying in her bed while your dad was drunk in the living room, there are huge chances that this is where your hate for love started. You were taught the wrong meaning of love. You were taught that love is a pain when in reality, it is completely the opposite. You don’t hate the actual love; you hate the wrong image that your traumatic childhood have painted of love. In this scenario, the best option for you is to seek professional help.
8. When someone you love dies, a part of you dies with them
If you hate to love because you lost someone you dearly loved, it is okay if the incident didn’t happen too long ago. You can’t help but think that if love wasn’t there, you wouldn’t be going through what you are right now regardless the person is alive or not, you’d be indifferent… but would you replace that feeling of indifference with all the happy memories of the deceased? Would you choose not knowing the beautiful soul at all just to not feel this heartbreak? I don’t think you would… Take your time to grieve but do not give up on love… the departed soul wouldn’t want you to give up on love either.
How to Deal With And Fix a Love-Hate Relationship
To deal with a love-hate relationship, you need to be emotionally stable first. You cannot expect things to fall in place if you do not take care of your emotional health. Choose to focus on improving your mental health first only then you can fix a love-hate relationship. However, if you have tried your best but are still unable to fix this relationship, you should seek help from a professional. Go to a relationship counselor and share everything with him. Let this person help you as there is no harm in seeking help. Take the advice given by the counselor seriously and work on improving your relationship. Decide what you need to do next and learn what you need to let go. If it's your ego that is destroying your relationships then learn to let go off the ego and try to make things work. However, the efforts should be mutual. One person alone cannot fix a dying relationship. It will take both of you to sort your differences and work for the betterment of the relationship.
8 Inspirational Quotes Of Wisdom For Those Who Hate Relationships
1. “All the things that people do in order to show that they don't need anybody... meanwhile, all they really want to do is say, "Please keep me." We all want to be kept. The problem is we are too afraid to let anyone know about it. What are these fragile things in our hearts that have so much fear of being broken?”
2. “Don't let toxic people infect you with the fear of giving and receiving one of the most powerful forces in this world... LOVE!”
3. “When you are in love you know no fear or hatred. when you are fearful there is no possibility of love or hatred. And when there is hate, there is only hate.”
4. “When we put our running shoes on and fight tooth and nail to hide from someone, it’s because that’s the person who really matters. That’s the one person you fear will see what’s inside you and cringe. You’d rather live with the not-knowing than to give it a chance.”
5. “Don't be afraid to be the person who loves the most”
6. “Do not be afraid of love or the course it will take. There is no certainty in life. Choose love first and choose love last and it will give you more than you ever give it.”
7. “Love is terribly sincere and great. I suppose that is why so many people are afraid of it, and so few can live up to it.”
8. “If the people who said they loved you abused or neglected you, it can feel terrifying to love again…Commitment or love with a family feeling can be scarier still. The child in you still equates commitment to being locked into a situation where there’s no escape. So as you get closer, you may become paralyzed by all your old defenses & memories.”
The conclusion is that feeling indifferent towards relationships and love is completely normal as that means you’re not closing a door, you just have other things to prioritize at the moment. If you hate to love and relationships, there must be some sort of traumatic experience or fear that’s making you feel this way and it should be addressed and worked on. I hope this article was helpful for you to figure out why you might have this negative feeling towards love and how you should tackle it. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors with love!