A good compliment can score you a date with your colleague or an acquaintance, while a bad compliment might earn you a slap in the face. It is difficult to master the art of complimenting someone(after all, it is an art and science) but we've got you covered with this article! Read on for tips on how to compliment a girl. In general, you don't want to sound too creepy, desperate, or lecherous.
Types of compliments
Examples of the Types of Compliments
Basic Guidelines When It Comes To Complimenting a Girl
1. Do not compliment her on her weight or figure
You should never compliment a girl on her weight, such as whether she is "slim-thick" or whether she looks like Jessica Rabbit. If she is well-endowed with big breasts, do not mention it. It comes across as lecherous and perverted, as well as creepy. You would sound like a sexual predator.
Also, most women would have experienced weight shaming and body shaming throughout their lives. For example refrain from comments such as: "You have a nice rack”. Instead, you should focus on her personality ie. ” You are such a bubbly person”, or “Your personality can light up an entire room”.
2. Comment on something which is within her locus of control
You can compliment her on her incredible work ethic, or her fashion sense. For example, You have a great fashion sense/the dress you picked looks great.
3. Be respectful to other people's cultures
That's a big no no!
Source: instagram.com; @thefleshlightchronicles
Source: instagram.com; @thefleshlightchronicles
Some compliments might come with racist undertones, hence, it may not be appropriate to compliment a person’s culture, or “exotic looks”. Avoid saying:” I love your Asian eyes.”/”You look pretty for an Asian.”/”I love Chinese food”. If you accidentally slip up, be brave and apologize.
4. Do not make yourself the focus of the compliment
GQ also mentions that it is best not to compliment her with reference to yourself and that you should leave out the “I” in a compliment. Instead of “I think this hair color suits you”, say:” This hair color suits you”.
5. Evaluate the setting or the context of the compliment
Inappropriate Especially in a Workplace...
You have to take into account the setting, ie. are you in a professional working environment or hanging out together with her at a cafe? You have to also evaluate the relationship. How close are you to her and how well do you know her? Are you a casual acquaintance, a coworker, or a friend? You don't want her to accuse you of sexual harassment at the workplace. Keep your compliments toned down when you are in a professional work setting. If you are not her lover or her boyfriend, refrain from compliments such as “You have sexy legs”.
6. Do not expect her to reciprocate in any way, shape or form
The Medium raised this as a pertinent point, as your compliments are not a commodity to be exchanged for any favors, whether it is time, money, or sexual favors. Do not expect her to compliment you back as well.
7. Don’t diss her girlfriends
This is so bad. It Implies that you hate other people and you are so self-absorbed.
Do not put down other women, by insinuating things like:” Other women do not have a nice hourglass figure like you”.
8. Appreciate her for her talents
Does she play the piano beautifully? Does she know how to write breathtaking poems? Does she paint photo-realistic portraits of people? Ie."You are very good at (insert talent here)".
9. Drop the sexual inneudos
Refrain from complimenting her on something sexual, as usual, for example, “You are so good at making me hot/so good at cunnilingus/ fellatio”. Drop all of that.
10. After complimenting her, play it cool.
You should not become flustered or become too anxious. Just let nature take its course. If she reacts negatively towards the compliment, try to change the topic briskly. If she is busy and she did not hear you complimenting her, probably you can find an opportune time when she is not occupied with work or texting someone on her phone.
11. No long winded compliments
Long Winded and Cheesy...
The longer the compliment is, the more it is going to come out garbled and awkward when you become really anxious, and you might even end up stuttering.
12. Refrain from passive aggressive compliments
This is Self Explanatory, Don't you Think?
Subtle insults or digs disguised as compliments are not cool. For example, if she is in a STEM major, do not say things like:” You are the first girl who is smart enough to work in science/the STEM industry”. Qualifiers also count as backhanded compliments, for example, “You look so young for your age”.
So your days still suck right? Are you the Grinch?
Attributing the compliment to an external source can be very demoralizing and negative for her as well.Ie.”You have a nice rack, I bet you have a very good push up bra”, or “Your parents were rich enough to send you to Harvard to study law, that’s why you are so successful today”. Another example would be a comparison compliment, such as:” This dress suits your figure better than the other dress you wore the other day”.
13. Sincerity is key
Examples of Sincere Compliments
Try to make your compliment as unique as possible and come up with new adjectives. For example:” You are so hot” would be cliche. Also, you should not compliment her too frequently, like every day. Perhaps you could compliment her once every two weeks. Refrain from compliments that are over the top or extravagant, such as saying:” You play the piano, as well as Chopin or Mozart” or “You, are the greatest gift to mankind who ever existed”.
14. Evaluate your body language when complimenting a girl
Non-verbal cues are important when complimenting someone. Without saying a word, the person receiving the compliment would be able to tell if you are sincere, sarcastic, shy or obnoxious. Do not stare at a woman’s cleavage when complimenting her-it is rude and she wants you to pay attention to her eyes, not her boobs. Also, make proper eye contact and smile. You should refrain from slouching, hunching your back, or crossing your arms, as it will make you seem insincere and defensive. If you keep your hands in your pocket while you are complimenting her, it makes you look shady, as if you have something to hide. If you are sitting down, do not cross your legs and use the open palm hand gesture, which both palms facing upright, not underneath the table.
15. Make her feel better when she is having a bad day
At times, work can be soul-destroying and pure drudgery. You can help to perk up a girl’s mood by using an encouraging compliment. For example, after a hard day of work at the office, you can say:” You rocked today’s presentation in front of the CEO/board of directors./I know today's work was quite hectic and tough, but you've got this!/You did well today!” Use an appropriate tone of voice and modulate your volume. You don’t want to sound too loud or soft. If you are a customer at a grocery store, you could compliment the cashier by saying:” Thank you for your excellent customer service.”
16. Do not criticise yourself when complimenting her
When you compliment her, sometimes, you may be tempted to show humility by comparing yourself to her and belittling yourself in the process. For example:” You are so smart, I can never perform as well as you.”/”You have a much better dress sense/social skills than me.” It reeks of insecurity and shows that you have low self-esteem. Some girls do not like alpha males, but nobody likes a man with excessive emotional baggage and massive insecurities about himself.
17. Avoid jokes or memes which can be cringy and cheesy
Overused and cliche
You may enjoy making references to pop culture, jokes or memes. However, some jokes can be off-putting and downright cringy. Unless you are a confident and self-assured gentleman who handles rejection well, stay away from weird memes or song lyrics. Almost every girl would have heard of the lyrics from Bruno Mars’ song “Just the way you are”. Your compliments should be short and succinct, not overly verbose or wordy.
It can be quite hard to come up with an appropriate compliment, but as long as you follow the basic “do’s and don’ts, you will be able to nail it. When you try to force a compliment, it will come out as unnatural. There are so many compliments that sound genuine and sincere, which are bound to win over any woman’s heart.