How To Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend You Still Love?
Did your girlfriend break up with you? Are you feeling miserable about it? Here are a few tips to deal with it, move on and get over your ex.
Jul 24, 2018
Studies carried out by neurologists at Mindlabs have proved that men are actually more sensitive than women and tend to hurt much more when compared to women after a breakup. Going through a breakup is a miserable feeling when you were in a committed relationship. You would have invested your time, love, energy and money to nurture the relationship, and watching it slip in between your fingers helplessly is one of the saddest feelings in the world. She may have been your first love or your first serious relationship and seeing your ex-girlfriend move on with someone else immediately after the breakup is like pouring fuel on the fire. Here is the reality: it might not be as easy as you think. As the saying goes, time heals every wound, and it will certainly take time to get over your feelings for your ex-girlfriend. It might not be as easy as you might think to get over an ex-girlfriend but don't lose hope. Here are a few tips on dealing with your breakup and getting over that ex-girlfriend you still love.
1. Follow the ‘No Contact’ rule to get over your ex-girlfriend fast
This is the golden rule by which love experts swear by. Cease all contact with your ex-girlfriend by deleting her from every social media account, such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. Stop stalking to your ex-girlfriend on social media, as incessantly keeping tabs on her social life might do more harm than good for you. Moreover, you might come across pictures of her enjoying her life and newfound freedom with another guy and we don't want to see you wallow in self-pity after seeing those pictures. Another golden rule to follow is that under no circumstances should you message her asking to come back to you. If you don’t trust yourself, delete her number from your contacts list or, better yet, entrust your phone to your best friend until you make up your mind. It might be a difficult task to do but, trust me, it will be alright in the end, this will also speed up your grieving process even though you might still love her.
2. Acknowledge the pain and be patient to move on
Don't be hard on yourself and don't forget to acknowledge your pain, as by doing this you're accepting the fact that the relationship is over, and once you have decided to do it, don't ever dwell on it. Be patient and give time some time to mend your broken heart. Don’t give in to over thinking and kick any ‘what if’ questions out of your mind. Allow yourself to have a good cry and, trust me, you'll feel much better after pouring your eyes out but, most importantly, don't blame yourself, as this makes it easier to get over a breakup with your ex-girlfriend.
3. Let go of your ex-girlfriend even if you still love her
As the saying goes, it's no use crying over spilt milk, and the same goes for your breakup, too. It's no use wallowing in pain and self-pity over things that are beyond your control. Acknowledge the fact that your ex-girlfriend has moved on without you and is not going to come back. Pick up all the pieces of your life and focus on improving yourself, as this time is very crucial for your overall emotional development. Just keep yourself busy so that you don't think about her in order to get over her fast!
4. Have a good cry to move on fast
You might project yourself as a strong person but it is okay to show that you're weak every once in a while. Have a good cry and wash out your heart. If you keep all your feelings inside, it will tear you apart eventually. For instance, consider a balloon: if you keep on blowing air into it, the balloon expands and it will ultimately burst after reaching its threshold. The same applies to your heart: if you keep on bottling up your feelings without expressing them, you will have a nervous breakdown. Denying your emotions or not accepting the situation will not prove beneficial while also making you feel worse. Don't control your emotions and just accept the fact that you've been hurt, so cry your eyes out. Sometimes, strong men feel weak but they can have a good cry, get up again and face a new day.
5. Be selfish and focus on yourself to get over your ex-girlfriend
Realize that your world doesn't revolve around your ex-girlfriend. It's high time you stop focusing on her, turn the limelight towards you and give yourself a fresh start since this is the best time for you to focus on yourself. Pick any new hobbies that you wanted to try for a long time but didn't have the time to do so or just go out, socialize and have fun with your friends. Ask your office crush out for lunch or indulge yourself in adventure sports to feel the adrenaline coursing through your blood, feel good about yourself and get over your ex. Show all the good things your ex-girlfriend is missing out on, by doing this you can get over your her in no time.
6. Write a journal to move on efficiently
Maintain a journal and write down your feelings about getting over your ex-girlfriend. Cope up with what you feel about her by introspecting about them and reflecting on your state of mind. Jot down how you felt when you were in the relationship with her and how you felt in the aftermath of your breakup. Keep track of your feelings, as it will provide you an insight about yourself. The common reasons for a breakup involve lack of communication, not trusting your partner, lack of freedom and falling out of love.
7. Channel your energy into exercise
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Getting over a breakup might make you feel stressed or push you towards an emotional burnout, so a good way to channel your emotions and break the depression cycle you're in is by exercising or indulging in any physical activities. Researchers have proved that when you exercise a hormone called ‘endorphin’, also known as ‘the feel-good hormone’, is released by the brain. These 'endorphins' trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to that of morphine. Exercise helps in boosting your mood and confidence so that you feel accomplished. Pick up intensive activities such as kickboxing, weight lifting, hiking or cycling both to boost your metabolism up and at the same time keep your mind off of your ex-girlfriend.
8. Enjoy your newfound freedom and catch up with your friends
Enjoy your newfound ‘single’ status by catching up with your friends whom you might have ignored during your relationship. Hang out with them, catch up on all the football or baseball matches that you might have missed, go out on a road trip, complain about your ex-girlfriend and enjoy flirting with that cute girl by the bar. Be careful while indulging in fun and frolic. Don't do things that might get you in trouble or things that later you might make regret doing.
9. List the things you hate about your ex-girlfriend
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This might seem like a crazy thing to do but, trust me, pointing out her flaws is a good way to get over your ex-girlfriend. When you're blind in love, you tend to worship your lover by ignoring their flaws and shortcomings. Your ex-girlfriend might have been a control freak or jealous of your friends, prevented you from going out with your friends or wrecked your bank account by buying unnecessary things. By making a list of all her negative traits, you might see that your ex-girlfriend was not perfect to start with and you might feel much better after the breakup.
10. Get rid of all the memories to get over her
This might be a hard thing to do if you're a person who keeps hanging on to the good memories to keep yourself going. I'm not telling you to burn them all but to store them in a place where you have less chance of seeing them. Certain memories keep reminding you of all the good times you had together by rekindling all those lost feelings, thus making it difficult for you to get over your ex-girlfriend. Just put all the things that remind you of her, such as pictures, her belongings, cards, gifts, etc., in a box and stow it away. Take them out when you're prepared because you might want to recall them at a later stage to cherish all the good memories.
11. Surround yourself in positive thoughts to move on fast
You might be plagued by negative thoughts from time to time while getting over your ex-girlfriend, so your self-confidence might take a hit. Don’t beat yourself up over your breakup with her and motivate yourself by having more positive thoughts. If possible, put up motivational posters all over your room or in your cubicle to reaffirm positive thoughts from time to time. Think about all the good things you have done and remind yourself of all the blessings that you have received.
12. Confide in someone to get over your ex-girlfriend
It's important to have a solid support system that can motivate and guide us during testing times like these, and sometimes it's good to have someone to talk to and share our feelings with. Confide in people and let them know your fears and apprehensions, but make sure that your confidant is a person that you can trust, as the conversation between both of you should strictly be a secret between. Don’t feel embarrassed, communicate freely and express your bottled up emotions to feel light about yourself and get over her in no time.
13. Spend time with your family to get over her
Take your mum out on a dinner date where you can indulge in a heart-to-heart talk. Go on a fishing or a camping trip with your siblings or even cook up a storm on the barbecue with your dad. Cherish the times you're spending with them, since they have always been there for you and love you unconditionally. They will definitely help in providing support and keep your mind off of your ex-girlfriend. You might be embarrassed about sharing your relationship details with your parents, but just know that they might have gone through the same thing when they were younger. They will provide you with valuable insights based on the experience and wisdom they have gained throughout the years to help get over your breakup.
14. Prepare yourself for running into your ex-girlfriend
If you and your ex-girlfriend work at the same office, study at the same college or live in the same city, you need to prepare yourself mentally for any unfortunate encounters with her. If you, in any case, run into your ex-girlfriend, don’t panic, maintain your cool at all times and be casual. If your ex by chance starts a conversation with you, just respond and keep it short and, most importantly, let her know that you have gotten over her and moved on after the breakup.
15. Spice up your sex life to move on and get over her
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Sleeping around is a sure way to get over your ex-girlfriend fast by enjoying the ‘no strings attached’ rule. One night stand might prove beneficial where you have control over your thoughts and decisions and, who knows, you might even find this new encounter interesting. But while this mindset might not be suitable for everybody, you definitely have to take measures to protect yourself while engaging in random sexual encounters. Don’t put yourself in harm’s way by trying too much to get over your ex-girlfriend.
16. Go on a mini vacation to move on
Yes, you heard it right! Go on a mini vacation by yourself or with your friends. Pack up your bags, spend some time exploring the local cuisine or hangouts, interact with the locals and learn about their culture. It doesn't even have to be an exotic place, as it can also be a place close to where you live. Pamper yourself or, better yet, give yourself a makeover with a complete set of new wardrobe. If you're not in a position to splurge, don’t worry, as you can always get a new haircut. This simple change is a sure way to boost your confidence and get over that ex-girlfriend you still love.
17. Stay away from alcohol and drugs
No alcohol until Thanksgiving 😳. I LOVE a drink on a Friday after work. A beer watching football on Sundays. But lately, one has turned into two and three. Before I even realize it, I've drank a whole six pack. I've been working too hard during the week and just voiding all the hard work with bad choices on weekends. Plus I have a Weight Loss Challenge to win at work. Wish me luck #noalcohol #weightloss #emptycalories #sweat #workout
We might have come across several movies where the hero usually resorts to drinks and drugs to get over his loss and pain after a breakup. This might seem a good idea in movies, but this masochism is not healthy in real life. Alcohol and drugs may ease your pain for some amount of time but the effects wear off subsequently, making you feel worse than before. Additionally, they might ruin your health in the long run, and one should never indulge in self-harm to overcome any pain or loss, so never, ever, drown yourself in alcohol or drugs to get over her even though you might still love her.
18. Set boundaries
Even though you may have agreed to stay as friends, it might not be a good idea. Let her know that you want to stay away from her for some time to get over her, to think about other things and that the 'new' you has set up specific boundaries that must not be intruded by her, so make sure to avoid her at all cost until you're strong enough.
19. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help
It's always messy having your feelings all over the place after a breakup, as you might have a hard time controlling your emotions and thoughts. This unhealthy state of mind will push you into depression, affecting your overall confidence and mental health, thus making it hard to get over your ex-girlfriend. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help when necessary, since a therapist will provide suggestions, that will also be beneficial in the long run, to overcome your negative thoughts.
20. Avoid your ex-girlfriend's friends
If possible, try avoiding your ex-girlfriend’s friends and your mutual friends so that you don't get reminded of her. The friends that you're trying to avoid might be good people, but it is necessary to set healthy boundaries in order for you to move on with your life without being constantly reminded of your ex-girlfriend. Try to avoid common hangouts that you might have frequented when you were in a relationship. By doing this, you can avoid any confrontations or encounters with her and her friends.
21. Adopt a pet
The thought of giving a new lease of life to an abandoned animal will make you feel good. Pets provide us unconditional love without expecting anything in return and they adore you immensely and will always keep you company. If you already have a pet, spend more time with them by taking long walks or by teaching them new tricks. We can also take a few hints on how to be carefree and enjoy the small pleasures of life from our ever grateful furry friends. They're much better than your ex-girlfriend and will help you get over her fast.
22. Fall in love again
Your past relationship may not have worked out as you expected, but it should not stop you from falling in love again. Don't shut yourself off due to one bad experience, so go out and have new adventures and, who knows, you might find a keeper whom you would love to spend your life with. Be mature, respect your other half and acknowledge them so that both of you can bring out the good within each other.
Aside from the suggestions and tips that have been provided over here, remember that, at the end of the day, time takes care of all wounds, and you have to realize that breaking up with your ex-girlfriend is not the end of the world. Be thankful for all the blessings that you have received and try to forgive and forget all the negative things. By doing this, we can get rid of all the negative feelings associated with the breakup and feel light. Finally, don’t forget to love yourself, face the world with a renewed will and vigour, and, most importantly, always have a smile on your face.