Not all relationships are the same. This is precisely why there are different outcomes for breakups. In this case, we will be talking about that particular case when you were the one to initialize the said separation. There are many reasons for this: you were either unsure about your future together, about yourself, you were not prepared to go further or you simply got scared or mad and later regretted it. Now he won’t talk to you. What can be done if you really want him back?
There are lots of ways that you can go about this painful situation. Thankfully, we will present most of them in the following lines while also making sure that you understand the implications and, most importantly, your feelings. So, without further ado, let’s see how you can get him back after you pushed him away and now he won’t talk to you. Here we go!
1. Let time heal your wounds before taking action
We are not psychics, we cannot see your past, or truly understand the reason why you two broke up. However, there are a few steps that any woman should take if she wants her ex-boyfriend back. This is definitely the first one of them and should all in all situations, regardless of how bad the breakup was. Allow for some time to pass before making any moves towards him. If your breakup was like the majority of them, he is probably still very upset, mad, sad or even resentful because of what happened.
And since you were the one to dump him, he will certainly feel rejected. This is exactly the reason why you should wait a few weeks before talking to him again. You don’t want to walk straight into the volcano that he is right now, right? Because if you do, nothing else on this list will work, trust us! Meanwhile, initiate the famous no-contact rule and do not talk at all. It should be beneficial to also avoid looking at his social media profiles. If you still want him back after this time, proceed to the next step.
2. Reevaluate whether or not you really want him back
It could be just an ambition to prove yourself that anyone can come back to you, even if you dumped them. You may not do it on purpose either, it just happens sometimes and it’s proof of our insecurity. The whole idea here is that you probably broke up with him for a reason, right? Think very hard and establish whether or not that reason was so bad that it might affect your possible future relationship again.
The very meaning of separation might give you nightmares and might make you want him back when in reality, you might regret it later. So, are you sure that the reason for your breakup was not that bad? Do you doubt your decision? Again, this is where the previous step intervenes because only time can tell you this.
3. Start texting casually
Now that you’ve established that you definitely want to have him back, it’s time to test the waters with one single text. Say something casual, not too flirty or weird. The best idea would be to be very friendly and formulate it so that he will feel invited to answer. Don’t panic if he doesn’t answer immediately! Remember that he too needs time to rebuild trust and feel comfortable talking to you again, if he chooses to talk to you at all.
Let’s be clear here! The worst-case scenario can happen and he can avoid you completely, therefore leaving you to wait. Should this occur, it would be best to get over it and have some fun. Life is beautiful and if he doesn’t come back, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be! Remember that the world doesn’t end here and that you are not the first nor the last to get through this.
4. Meet up
Let’s say that the worst-case scenario didn’t happen and the two of you are not casually texting each other. It’s time to establish a meeting on neutral ground and catch up. Go to lunch or a coffee and make it as informal as possible, like two old friends meeting. Avoid apologizing for breaking up with him because it will make him feel bad. For now, just enjoy each other’s company in a nice place. Have a drink or two, laugh, ask about his professional life and about his family. Be just like a friend who cares.
Also, it’s important to know that rushing back to the same habits that you had as a couple will make things worse. Don’t pressure him and keep it friendly for now. You will definitely feel when it’s time to behave like a couple again.
5. Talk about changes for a successful relationship
As the days/weeks will go by, you will both notice whether or not things are going on the right path. When you are both sure of it, meet again and talk about what you both can change in order for a future relationship to be more successful than the first time.
Create a joint plan and discuss what each of you can change for the better of your connection and to avoid breaking up again, especially if it’s obvious that you love each other very much. Any misunderstandings and conflicts should be avoided from now on. Also, you can promise that you will both become your best versions in order for things to be almost perfect (no relationship is perfect but it’s our duty to try and make it as good as possible).
6. Celebrate together!
Congratulations! If all goes well, you should celebrate your rekindled relationship with just the two of you. You should both be happy for this moment and proud of having gotten through all those struggles. In the end, it all worked out well. Even if there were some issues along the way, you know what they say: a calm sea has never made a skilled sailor!
You can now do something nice together to mark your new beginning together. Go to a nice place and infuse some symbolism into this celebration, like planting a tree or making a vow. Regardless of what you two choose to do, make sure that the evening ends in the bedroom. You should restart that fire too, right?
All in all, we can only hope that we have helped you with some useful tips on how to get your ex-boyfriend back after pushing him away. We understand we all have our moments when we’d rather be alone and calm down. However, there are times, like this one, when we realize that we have made a mistake by breaking up with our partner and we regret it very much. This is exactly why this article should come in handy if you ever find yourself in a similar situation.
Also, never forget that if things don’t work out as planned, there is always a way forward and the future is definitely bright. Do not let yourself be beaten down by a negative response or the lack thereof. Keep your head high and muster your courage. You are good enough and you will find the right person for you. There are lots of fish in the sea and they will all want to swim right next to you, you’ll see. Have patience, heal your wounds, and start again. You will thank us later!