How To Stop Obsessing Over A Guy You Barely Know In 20 Ways

You may not admit this, but at some point in your life you have obsessed over a guy- it could be your friend’s ex-boyfriend, a married guy, a celebrity, or some silly guy you barely know. Whatever the case, the feeling is bad yet you can’t stop it. What are you supposed to do? The man is incredibly attractive, you barely know him, he is not your ex, but you don’t seem to stop thinking about him. Perhaps he is taken or you once slept with him on a one night stand. Know that you are not the first to be in this kind of a situation; it happens to most women- married, single, engaged, old, and young. Don’t fret because there are 20 tips that will help you ditch the unhealthy obsession.

An obsession over a guy is a compelling desire to be with a man you find astonishingly attractive or very special. We have all encountered such men and it is totally a normal feeling. But the problem comes when there is not a single chance to get into a relationship with this guy, so you need to get over him. These feelings are real and strong in some cases and if they are not reciprocated, they are more likely to fade away. The obsession can be caused by several things such as playful flirting, admiration, one-night stand, or no reason at all. It feels wonderful at first to have some chemical reactions in your brain but you later realize that it is unhealthy. Your fantasies are all in vain if this guy you are obsessing over is committed to another woman. Are at this stage looking for encouragement or redemption? Now is the time to step up and start living a healthy life.

There is a reason you are psychologically obsessed with this guy. Is he your ex, a TV personality, or someone you flirt with on a daily basis? If he appears on TV, stop watching his show; if he is your ex, move on and find a rebound; and if he is a workmate you have been flirting with, just stop it. Make a list of the rationales for obsessing over this guy- did you start obsessing after you slept with him? Perhaps you have the desire to fill some emptiness in your heart and you think this guy you barely know can fix your loneliness. If you can, find psychological help or talk to a trusted friend. After figuring out the root causes and knowing that your happiness doesn’t depend on him, you can easily get over and avoid unnecessary torment in your heart. It is going to take time- be patient.

Obsessing over a guy is time-consuming, so you should stop wasting your time. There are many ways you can distract yourself from this thing. Start a new hobby, start attending the gym, go on a vacation, or start gardening- do anything to keep you preoccupied. Incorporating healthy activities in your life will make you more productive by eliminating unhealthy thoughts. Eventually, you become a better person. Anytime you start obsessing, find a different line of thought or activity and transplant it into your schedule. For instance, remind yourself that you have some gardening work to do or two sets of exercises to complete. If you develop this habit, you will soon find ways to get him out of your mind.

If you can see him for who he truly is, you will stop holding him high on a pedestal. In your mind, you probably see him as a super-hot deity and forget to see his human side. Try taking him from the pedestal and you will realize that he is an annoying person- you will start to see his flaws and he will be less fascinating. Nobody is perfect. Stop looking at your ex or crush through colored glasses and start finding his imperfections. If you only focus on his pros, you are not getting his full picture. Sit down and list the number of cons he hides under the rug and you will realize that he is not the great guy you think he is. This tactic might make you develop some hatred towards the guy but you shouldn’t worry.

When you are caught up in something, it becomes hard to see the entire picture. With a history with this guy and your feelings involved, it is incredibly hard to get yourself out. This is where you need counsel- from a close friend or a psychological therapist. Present your tribulations to another person and s/he will help you see the truth. Two heads are better than one and maybe your friend was once involved in a similar situation and they can tell you what they did to get over it.

Sometimes, exploring your fears will help you get over some obsessive thought cycles. Perhaps you have not yet admitted to yourself that this man cannot be yours because you are simply not his type. Maybe you don’t like him that much, and all you need is to fill that emptiness in your heart. A part of you tells you that he is Casanova who likes messing with girls and you keep hoping that someday he will stop the behavior if he gives you a chance. No matter the reason, you need to sit down and face your fears.

The key here is to reduce his importance. Stop making your life revolve around him- no more trying to please him, don’t make plans for him, and stop chasing him if you’ve ever slept with him. Next is to make another person important in your life; this can be you or another guy. Look out of the window and see what else you love in this life besides this guy. You have a lot of energy and passion that can be directed to other things in life. Consider going to the beach, painting, helping the needy, or enrolling for a course you have always wanted to do. Think about how other things you love and how they enrich your life. Find purpose in those things and pursue them. You will soon notice that you have some much more to do instead of obsessing over a guy you barely know.

If you have ever given a friend some tips to stop obsessing over their boyfriend, why do you find it hard to face the situation courageously when you are the one living it? One of the best things you can do is to create a distance and stop seeing the guy frequently. You will be in a better position to evaluate the situation and find out why you are obsessing. Even though absence makes your heart grow fonder, it will enable you in this case to reveal the negative sides of obsessing so that you can fix it.

This doesn’t mean you need to get a lover immediately; it could be your family or a close friend. These will make you feel loved and valued because they cherish your company. Do this more often and you will remind yourself that you deserve better treatment! If you feel good around other people, you won’t have to imagine being around a guy you barely know for compassion.

If you have a secret affection for a particular man, your ex or someone you slept with a long time ago, you obviously have him in the list of your friends on Twitter, Instagram or Whatsapp. You keep lying to you that you only want to take a quick glance at his recent photos and status updates, only to spend a whole hour downloading his best pictures and checking other girls who like them. This will not help you stop the obsessive cycle but rather fuel it. Like the saying goes, if you keep him out of sight, he will be out of your mind in no time. So stop checking the social media pages of ex. Delete or block him if that will help.

Do you know how amazing you are? It is important that you understand your self-worth so that you put yourself on a pedestal and not this guy you have been obsessing over. He is definitely not worth your attention if he is not actually in your life. It is not your fault that you can’t stop obsessing- you are just human. But remember that you are an intelligent, likable, and beautiful woman and nobody should take up the entirety of your thoughts if he doesn’t deserve you.

If you are prone to this habit, it is difficult to find a perspective and realize how much you are being silly. Remember the last time you had an obsession for a guy you slept with? Was it worthy or pointless? It will dawn on you that obsessive thoughts do not change anything at all. You only feel more miserable and pathetic about yourself especially if you barely know the man. Try to analyze your past relationships and encounters with men and avoid the same mistakes.

The obsessive cycle takes a lot of your brainpower. How about occupying your mind with the scientific subject matters you find interesting? You won’t have a room for thinking about the guy you desire and he will soon get out of the picture. Reading is a constructive and enjoyable activity and it needs some mental effort. Do not stop reading until you abolish him from your thoughts.

This is another effective way to stop obsessing over someone who doesn’t care about you. Start by realizing that he is not the only hot thing among male species. It doesn’t mean that you start dating randomly; ensure you interact with a guy who is interested in you and give him a chance. Engage in a real romance with another guy; at least you will not be stuck on someone who is just a fantasy. If you don’t find an interesting guy, take interest in a number of men and have them as your friends.

If you are obsessing over a guy, chances are that you have little time for workouts. Exercising is a very effective stress buster; put on your sprinting footwear and run around your block. As you work out your muscles, your body releases endorphins (happiness hormones)- if you are happy, you won’t be thinking about any guy except how happy you are. You don’t have to subscribe to a gym to get active; something as simple as dancing in your condo can help you deal with the obsessive emotions.

The reason you don’t stop obsessing over him is that you keep texting him back every single hour. Stop this casual communication to get the necessary distance. Stop calling or waiting for his phone call as well. If you have been waiting for him to make a move for a whole year, what makes you think he will do it now? Stop wasting your time dear sister.

Maybe you started obsessing over a guy because he pulled a shady maneuver and what you didn’t know is that he was just messing with your head. So, you wake up in the morning, go to your work, go back home in the evening, and lounge around at night obsessing over this man. You see, your schedule is monotonous and what you need is something to break the monotony- a new hobby. Keep yourself busy with something else that will replace the ‘obsessing’ session. If you adore painting, take some lessons and you will be painting every time you’re free. Your mind will drift away from him.

You can use the obsession against yourself by making a promise that anytime he pops in your mind at daytime, you start stretching or watch a funny clip from your phone. You can also relate this to Pavlov’s dog theory: associate your obsession with something awful like walking barefoot on hot charcoal. Soon, you will get your life back and forget about the worthless guy.

You have been hoping against hope that the guy you slept with will take you out someday but you realize that this will never happen after a long time. You keep postponing all your outing plans just because he vaguely mentioned something like hanging out on a weekend with you, but he never calls to make real plans. It hurts to get some empty promises from someone you have feelings for. Instead of obsessing over the idea of going out with him, why don’t you take yourself out? Stop by the new restaurant and eat a spicy meal you haven’t had in years and you will be happier than you thought.

If you cannot get some time off from your work, a weekend trip may be all you need to get over a guy you slept with. Take time to relax in your family cottage or go to a campsite to party with your friends. The hot guy you keep obsessing over will seem a million miles away plus there will be so much to remember after the vacation that he won’t have a place in your thoughts for days. If you have enough time, relinquish your daily responsibilities and go for an adventure in a place you have always wanted to explore- visit a nearby city or forest and the omnipresent man will become insignificant.

All the other suggestions mentioned in this article are supposed to divert your mind away from him. This guy is just like any other person and if you are courageous, you can approach him directly. If you have never had a serious talk, you can find out today if he is your type. Supposing this guy is not your type; you will stop fantasizing about him and this could be the relief you just needed. You will then be able to move on and seek love elsewhere.

Do you want to continue being wrapped up in a guy you can’t have? It’s completely frustrating. Most people will advise you to walk away from a guy you have been obsessing over and cut all communication. This is a good idea; if you can buy it, still it is not that simple. Sometimes, you simply cannot just walk away, for instance, if the guy is your boss, workmate, or classmate. Sudden avoidance, on the other hand, could be a mistake- your emotions will get stronger and feel bad. The best thing is to let the obsession evolve and diminish gradually. Don’t forget that this is not true love and if you are willing to let go, it will pass. If you see him every day, be friendly, stay in control, and be brutally honest with yourself as you give yourself time to stop the obsession.