The Art of Erotic Spanking: How to Spank Your Partner Right

As kinky as it sounds, it might be a new favorite for you!

By Kimmy
The Art of Erotic Spanking: How to Spank Your Partner Right

Spanking vs Erotic Spanking: Is there any difference

Ever since "Fifty Shades of Grey" came out, people have been fantasizing all the BDSM stuff they can do in the bedroom. Although we live in a free society, erotic spanking still seems to be a taboo. You don't discuss with your family and friends. When your partner asks you lie and say it's absolutely disgusting and you would never do it, when in fact, you're dying to try it.

Why must erotic spanking be a taboo? Today we are going to teach you all you need to know. Beginner guide to erotic spanking! First you need to know that spanking and erotic spanking is different. Spanking can be a slap in the face since most of the time, it's not mutual, not it is enjoyable.

Erotic spanking is a type of SM for people that finds pleasure in little pain, or extreme pain. It feels good to get a spank in the ass, right where the fatty meat is. It's supposed to bring the sex game up. You feel aroused with the right amount of pressure. And most importantly, both sides enjoy it.

Wondering how you can step up your erotic spanking game? Here's all you need to know!

Tips and Tricks to Introduce Erotic Spanking into Your Sex Life

1. Mutual consent

Erotic spanking is supposed to be a pleasurable experience for both sides. However, not all enjoy having pain inflicted on them. Spanking your partner without prior notice could ruin the mood. Communicate well with your partner beforehand to see if it's something you both want to do. Don't be shy to go into details about the strength and intensity as well. Never go above the limit your partner instructs you. Too much pain may scar your partner. Be gentle and even practice the pressure you will put and if both want to be spanked or to spank.

Introducing spanking during sex without prior consent is dangerous, rude and irresponsible. Know that spanking is a kind of pain. A well-built man spanking a girl half his size could lead to a traumatic experience for the girl as she might not know how to say no or to get out of the situation at the moment. This is something to be discussed before doing.

2. Kiss it then spank it

Any forms of BDSM comes with lust and sexual desire, it's never just pure torture. BDSM isn't about torturing your partner until she bleeds and you get high off of that feeling. There is an adequate mix of love and discipline. Foreplay is important. Kissing, cuddling and making out so you both get the mood right. Going straight to the spanking and chocking part can really ruin your experience as there's no sexual pleasure.

Give it a kiss where you are about to spank. Grab it and stick your head in, then spank it. The lust will make you hot and crave for more.

3. Set the mood straight

Naturally, the surrounding environment affects your experience a great deal. As compared to a princess-themed room with rose petals on the bed, a dark dungeon with a brick wall and a leather sofa like the "Fifty Shades of Grey" kind of style would bring you into the mood much easier.

Not that you have to build a dungeon specifically for this, but you can always redecorate your room a bit before to match your fantasy of how it would be when you get spanked. Anything that gets you into the mood. For first-timers, since you lack the experience, you should really do anything that builds up your fantasy.

4. Role playing

Some people find role-playing to help their experience with spanking. To that couple, even erotic spanking isn't a normal thing as they would never spank each other in real life under any circumstances. They feel it's hard to get into the mindset to spank each other although it is enjoyable. That's why role-playing can help.

Whether you are the dominatrix or a helpless medieval village girl trying to ask the knight to save her father, these fantasy creates a sort of alternative reality at the moment that detaches you from real life, helping you to get into the role. Spanking your partner and getting spanked by your partner wouldn't seem so awkward anymore.

Of course, there are couples that can dive straight in without having to role-play, nor do they like role play as they enjoy the real-life experience. Talk to your partner. If one side finds it hard to do, role-playing may ease into the situation and everyone can get into position quicker.

5. Star slow

Foreplay is important as we have said. But that's not all, even after foreplay you should start slow to get players into the game. Start with some gentle caressing, then a few light hits on the side of the ass, before moving onto light spanking.

Going slow is especially important for first-timers as they will be scared of not knowing how hard they will be hit or how it actually feels. Gradually warming up to the experience is pleasant and can avoid a lot of conflicts after.

6. Have a safe word

ALWAYS, always have a safe word discussed before any forms of BDSM activity. A safe word can really save your life to let your partner know you can't take it anymore. In some extreme cases, people actually die from BDSM as they never had a safe word to let their partner know it was too much for them. Their partner thought they were enjoyable or just in the role play deep when they're actually dying.

It's not stupid or being overly cautious to have a safe word. It saves you from having a traumatic experience of being forced down by your partner and getting spanked while your partner thinking you are crying with happy tears.

7. Timing

A lot of people tend to forget about this. Since spanking is like an extra act you put during sex, people don't know how to count the time. Either they go over the desirable length and their partner feels bored or they go too fast and it ends before the partner could find pleasure in the act.

Talk to your partner about a preferable time you should spend in the spanking part. Read your partner's face to see if they're enjoying it. If something's not right, put an early end to it even if it just started. There's always the perfect amount of time you should spend on it. Going crazy long is never a good idea.

Recommended Equipments

1. Sexy lingerie

Buy a dominatrix or any style of revealing, seductive type of lingerie from Amazon. People seem to like it more during BDSM that lingerie is on. Talk to your partner and see what he likes.

2. Gag and bondage

This is going a bit up the ladder. It may sound extreme to some, don't be alarmed. You are in control of how you want things to go. Just because you are getting tied up, or you are gagging your partner up, doesn't mean anyone is going to get hurt. People have this irrational fear of BDSM, thinking someone is going to get seriously hurt. Well, people can get seriously hurt everywhere if they aren't careful.

If used correctly, gag and bondage is surely fun and erotic and adds a lot more points to the experience. It gives you the full experience of BDSM, of getting spanked and tied up. 

3. Whips

Get a good whip from a sex shop, not those you tie your horses with. Whips use in sex are much smoother so it doesn't leave a mark or hurt too easily. There're many different types you can choose from for your own personal preferences. For the newcomers, opt for the softer ones so it doesn't hurt too much even if you can't control your strength and wipe too hard.

Whips can be fun to use in spanking, oftentimes it hurts less too than having to use your own hands. It's effective and it's a must-try with role-playing.

Related Article: Want to Try Bondage Play? Here are 8 Tips to Get Started!
Want to Try Bondage Play? Here are 8 Tips to Get Started!

Absolute beginner guide on bondage and 8 tips on how to start


What do you think about all the hacks with spanking? Didn't think spanking can be so hard with lots of skills involved? Spanking is not about having rough sex only, it's about giving your partner a pleasurable time and helping each other to cum easier as well. There're techniques to it. Don't be shy if you've never done it before. Start slow as we suggested. Follow our tips and talk to your partner to see if you want to bring this new and exciting erotic act to bed tonight!


Popular on Panda Gossips