Did you ever wish you were as romantic and smooth as, let's say, Ryan Gosling was in "The Notebook" or Richard Gere was in "Pretty Woman?" While watching these films, did you ever think to yourself, "Damn, wish it was that easy to get the ladies (or for the women reading this, to get the men)."
It's a fact of life, the majority of us just suck at romance. Only a handful of people don't get tongue-tied. Let's face it, many of us are more of a Sheldon Cooper than a Leonardo DiCaprio. Flirting is like solving quantum physics. Instead of catching your crush's attention, you end up scaring them away.
If you want to get better at saying romantic things, without getting tongue-tied, it's always best to start small. Start practicing one- to two-liner romantic phrases on your own in front of the mirror. Start reading on different ways to express yourself romantically. Try to put yourself in your partner's shoes and ask yourself "How do I want to be wooed?"
Get a pen and paper out, for this article is especially for the clueless romantic wannabes.
Scoring 0 for the Romantic Scale?
Have you ever been told by your special someone or someone you admired how unromantic you were? You're trying to get the attention of this gorgeous girl or handsome man that caught your attention, but you don't know where to begin. You browse through social media, and you wonder how some people don't get embarrassed posting a couple of photos or long, cheesy posts professing their undying love for each other.
Is there even such a thing as a romance scale? The thing to keep in mind here, though, is that everyone has different ways of receiving and reciprocating love. We all understand the desire and what it means differently. A way to avoid misunderstandings in a relationship is to understand and to understand genuinely, how your partner wants to be loved, and how they show their love.
For starters on the romance scale, we have the hopeless romantics. Hopeless romantics see life as love. They write out poems and send out love letters to their special someone for no special occasion. They are the ones who could say cheesy lines like "I think I can conquer the world with you by my side" or "you are like breathing, I can't leave you" without getting embarrassed.
Did you read those lines and cringe internally? Then, you're probably a hopeful romantic. Hopeful romantics believe in the idea of true love, but don't have their head up in the clouds. Hopeful romantics take their time in love and romance and don't rush.
If you're neither of these two, then you're probably the last category. Lastly, we have the non-romantics. Non-romantics are the most misunderstood of the three groups. It's not easy for a non-romantic to say cheesy pick-up lines or write love letters. It's not easy for them to flirt. Period. However, a non-romantic still wants love and to be romantic; they just don't find it as easy to do as compared to others.
Why you Should Start Expressing Yourself Romantically
In any relationship, you and your partner must understand each other fully how each one shows their love. It is taxing on someone in a relationship who does not understand how their partner shows their appreciation. Expressing yourself romantically strengthens the bond you have with your loved one and boosts your confidence. Showing your love to your loved one through romantic gestures makes them feel special.
Ultimately, one way to express yourself romantically for the non-romantics is through words. It might be difficult for a non-romantic to dive into grand romantic gestures right away, so it's best to start small. Let's take a look at romantic things you can say for beginners and intermediates.
Romantic Things to Say for Beginners
"How was your day?"
Never underestimate the power of these four words. This question can turn a frown upside down. When in doubt, ask this question. You can even include another follow-up question that is very specific to your partner's schedule. Do they have a presentation at work that day? Ask them how that went. Remember: attention to detail is romantic.
"I'll cook. Steak or pasta?"
Cooking a meal for someone is a lot more romantic than it appears. When you receive a homecooked meal prepared by your love, you feel special. The next time you are rattling your mind on something romantic say, just head to the kitchen and cook.
"Let me do the chores."
Men, listen up. This is an instant turn on for most women. When you're holding that broom or wiping the floor, get ready for a steamy night in bed.
"Can I do anything to help?"
When your partner is facing a problem in their life and feels like they are at an impasse, offering a helping hand can help lighten up their mood. They might tell you it's okay and that you don't need to do anything, but for sure they were genuinely thankful for your offer to help.
"Do you want a massage?"
There's nothing like a nice relaxing massage after a long and tiring day. Get your partner comfy, put on some peaceful music, and get those hands massaging. If you're not with your partner at the moment, promise them a back massage the next time you see each other.
These are the magic words, folks. Before trying them out, make sure you have the cash to follow through though. You may not be able to write long love poems; at least you have money to pay.
"Have you eaten?"
When you ask this, you remind the person that you're thinking about them.
"You smell nice."
Men and women are simple creatures. Want to be romantic? Compliment your special someone as much as you can.
"You pick the movie."
If you're the type of couple who always argue on what to watch or where to eat, telling them that they have the choice to pick is music to their ears. Saying this can have the same effect as buying a bouquet of roses.
"Can I hold your hand?"
Even for a beginner, this phrase might be a bit difficult to say. If you're not yet official and you want to put your relationship to the next level as a non-romantic, ask your partner if you can hold their hand the next time you see them. If you're with them at the moment, ask and hold away!
Send this as a text message or say it in person and see the magic happen.
Romantic Things to Say for Intermediates
"I'm so lucky to be with you."
This is an instant mood booster. Telling your partner that you feel blessed to be with them is a great feeling for both parties.
"You're the reason why I get up every morning."
When your partner is not a morning person, and they tell you this, they're a keeper. You're an essential and irreplaceable part of their life.
"I love being in your arms."
If you've been together for a while now and feel comfortable in saying this, you won't regret it. While you're at it, give them a big kiss.
"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."
It's all about the mood. Find the right time to tell your loved one this, and you won't regret it.
"I can't imagine life without you."
If you really mean this phrase, go ahead and say it.
"You're the reason why I smile every morning."
Being the reason behind someone else's happiness is a great feeling. Everyone should experience it at one point in their lives.
"You're my sunshine on a cloudy day."
Feeling poetic? Try this out.
"The more I think of you, the more I miss you."
This might be a bit cliché and sappy for some people, but, hey, it works. Include a little winky face at the end of your message if you wish.
"I want to hear your voice."
Just before heading to bed, send this as a text and then follow up with a quick phone call- instant butterflies in the stomach.
"You're the love of my life."
Disclaimer: Don't go around telling everyone this. You'll be labeled as a player.
"Every moment spent with you is precious."
This is perfect for when you're feeling extra romantic on a date.
"I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
While you're at it, pop opens the question as well. Just kidding.
As long as you're confident and your heart is there in what you are saying, you will see positive results. Though it may be hard to be romantic for super non-romantics, nothing is impossible without some practice. Try out the phrases listed in the article to yourself in front of the mirror to boost your confidence. When you're ready, try them out on a real person.
Remember: under every non-romantic is a romantic. You just got to dig deep.