10 Tips For Star Crossed Lovers To Pursue Love

The simplest way to explain the concept of star crossed lovers would be to describe them as two people whose fate prevents them from being together, no matter how much they try to be a thing. When I say ‘fate’, I refer to many things: family disputes (think Romeo and Juliet), long distances, issues within the relationship itself (cheating, jealousy, etc.) or it could even be something far more complicated like a deadly contagious disease – the possibilities are endless!

Many people today use the term ‘star crossed lovers’ wrongly, referring to partners who are meant to be together when in actuality, it’s quite the opposite. We term them ‘star crossed’ since the stars have decreed against them. No matter how much the doomed lovers may try, the universe has already set its course in preventing them from crossing paths. The concept of ‘star crossed lovers’ rose to prominence through popular works of literature from renowned playwrights such as William Shakespeare (Romeo and Juliet) and Maurice Maeterlinck (Pelléas and Mélisande).

Although breakups are as common as falling in love is – what hurts the most is when the couple is  actually in love but are fated for a heart-wrenching tragedy. This was the case with Nick Gordon and Bobbi Kristina Brown. Bobbi’s family wasn’t in favor of the relationship since they believed that Nick was abusive and was only pretending to be in love with her to get his hands on her wealth. However, what nobody saw coming was Bobbi’s unexpected death in 2015 when she drowned in her bathtub. It wasn’t surprising that many faces turned towards Nick for Bobbi’s eerie death.

Cobain and Love got married only a year after they started dating and Love gave birth to their daughter just six months later. Things took an unexpected turn when Cobain was found dead in his house in Seattle. The death was declared suicide since Cobain shot himself and had also allegedly abused drugs such as diazepam and heroin. Many fans speculated that Love killed him while others had different theories pointing to the fact that he’s still alive – maybe we just fail to believe that we lost such a big star.

From being a couple in the hit TV Show Glee to being real-life lovers, Monteith and Michelle were characterized as a picture-perfect couple when they started dating back in 2012. However, Monteith had a history of drug abuse and after having successfully recovered while at a rehab for several months, the Glee star was found dead in his Vancouver hotel room. It was discovered that he died due to drug intoxication.

Although happily married in 1966, Rita Marley complained that her husband had significantly ‘changed’ ever since he received stardom and blamed his fame for their marital breakdown. Marley is said to have been involved with several women while being married to Rita. After Marley’s death, Rita admitted that he used to force himself on her after she refused to sleep with him, which ended up being a very different illustration as to how the world viewed the star. Rita has gone as far as to classify his ‘forceful attempts’ on her as rape, again blaming his stardom for his moral corruption.

This story starts as a classic ‘my dad says we can’t see each other anymore’ kind of forbidden romance tale. Selena’s then-boyfriend, Pérez, wasn’t approved by her father. However, after years of trying to take control of his daughter's love life, Selena’s father eventually came to accept Pérez as a member of his family. Regardless of his father’s approval, everything went downhill after Selena was murdered in 1995. It has been reported that his wife’s death led Pérez down into a dark abyss – he started relying on drugs and alcohol, desperately trying to come in terms with his fate.

If, say, you both have a desire to belong together, but somehow or another end up quarreling, breaking plates and raising each other’s blood pressure – try to work things out in a more rational way. Try and maneuver all that aggressive energy elsewhere.

Even if the entire world turns its back towards you, just stick around – think of it like this – the world needs you, you don’t need the world.

Perhaps one of the most crucial aspects of any relationship – trust each other and acknowledge the fact that relationships are built on a mutual understanding.

These days, our busy schedules leave almost no time for us to ponder over the more promising, genuine things in life. We tend to forget why we even fell in love with someone. Remind yourself every day why you love your significant other – you’ll see that these daily reminders prove to be a safeguard against life and its obstacles. You’ll start believing that no matter what happens, you two will always have each other’s backs.

Being star crossed lovers means that there will always be something in the way of you two, no matter how much you try. However, there are some instances where you may feel like your significant other isn’t trying hard enough. What you need to understand is that sometimes the impression we receive is only the tip of the iceberg, we seldom know what complications each of us has to go through every day – just give your partner some space, they’ll come around eventually.

Alluding to my previous point, we often know very little about each other’s complications. Hence, communication is key to making any relationship last. Always make an effort to let your partner know what you’re going through – you might just receive the best advice from the one who cares the most about you.

When you take a stand for your love life, you might just learn new things about yourself and your partner – remember, this would eventually help in evolving your love for each other.

We, as humans, are impatient creatures. Learn to be patient. Everything will eventually fall into space – all you need to do is give it a little push.

Being star crossed lovers means that you have to make extra efforts to make things work. However, our impatience and emotions trick us into doing much more than is demanded. Try to work things out slowly – exhausting yourself won’t do anyone any good, nor would it fix any problem.

If you’re the kind of person who worries too much, just remember that tomorrow’s problems can’t crawl into today. Besides, why worry about something that’s not even confirmed? Just focus on the present and do your best to make things work. A true lover will appreciate the little things.

“We were doomed from the start. A lost cause. A losing battle.’

― Julie Johnson, Erasing Faith

She had seen just now what she had only sensed before, that the whole world was ready to be their enemy, and suddenly what she and Carol had together seemed no longer love or anything happy but a monster between them, with each of them caught in a fist.”

― Patricia Highsmith, The Price of Salt

Oh yes, it's very tragic. Why does everyone always like love stories? What about absence-of-love stories? Aren't they much more common?”

― Gabrielle Zevin, Because It Is My Blood

If it weren’t for classical works like that of Shakespeare, classical dramas wouldn’t get their dramatism for when it comes to doomed love. The beauty of trying to fight against all the negative energies of the world is reassuring in the sense that although we humans are microscopic in comparison to the vast universe, we still possess the power to shape the future – all we need is a little faith and lots of love.